


Opposites Attract

by Ravunn



Series: In Our Nature series [3]
Category: Hearthstone - Fandom, Warcraft - All Media Types, World of Warcraft
Genre: F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff, Hearthstone (Warcraft), Opposites Attract
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:29:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 40,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29667318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravunn/pseuds/Ravunn
Summary: In many ways, Bitsy Shortguard and Ozzy Fizzlefuse couldn't be more different. She's a gnome and he's a goblin. But they're similar in just as many ways. She has an answer to give him and promises it at the end of their match. Over the course of the game, the two reflect on their relationship leading up to this moment. Yes, opposites attract, but birds of a feather flock together.Independent of other works in the In Our Nature series.
Relationships: Female Gnome(s)/Male Goblin(s) (Warcraft)
Series: In Our Nature series [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1898449
Comments: 26
Kudos: 9





	1. The Wager

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to write this fic because I’ve been feeling really bad ever since I got an extremely nasty review on “In Our Nature” back on February 18th. It wasn’t even constructive criticism, it was just vitriol. Every time I went to write after that, those awful words would whisper in my ear. I’m already very insecure about my so-called skill as a writer, and thanks to that anonymous jerk, I felt immobilized by my anxiety. So I decided I wanted to work on something else, to push myself through this block. Something sweet, something short, something straightforward. I wanted something to make me feel better to just write, no matter what anybody might say after. And so this fic was born. 
> 
> Enjoy it, or don’t. I’m just happier to have written it.

The moonlit sands whistled on the dunes far beyond the dusky borders of Gadgetzan. But the soft wail of the sands was inaudible under the usual evening chatter of the Road Warrior Inn. Various patrons from all across Azeroth, from all walks of life, were gathered around the main dining table. Voices spoke in a dozen tongues, one to match every race that spoke them. The most common languages were those of the most numerous patrons, the gnomes and goblins who called Gadgetzan their permanent home.

While most patrons tended to keep to themselves---drinking, or feasting, or staggering half-drunk into one of the inn’s many available beds---a few small groups lingered by themselves at the tables in the more shadowy corners of the room. Groups of friends, or couples, or families.

And among them sat one pair who were all three of those things, yet also none of them.

A pink-haired, rosy-cheeked gnome with her thick hair set into two bushy pigtails sat across from a green-skinned goblin with wild black hair atop his head and along his jaw. It was a rather odd sight to some, seeing a goblin and a gnome together. But if anyone were looking at them in judgement, then neither were any the wiser. They were too busy sitting with their gazes locked upon one another, as though they were having a tacit conversation through eye contact.

But then the gnome spoke, turning their conversation verbal.

“Let’s play a game,” She said quietly in the Common tongue, shuffling the Hearthstone deck in her calloused little hands.

“A game?” The goblin perked a black eyebrow, in the same Common language, “Right now? Uh, is this really the best time, Bitsy?”

“It’s the best time,” Bitsy nodded affirmatively.

“Uh huh?” The goblin looked at her skeptically.

“Look, Ozzy,” Bitsy sighed, setting down her shuffled deck, “Let’s just play a round. And I’ll tell you after.”

“What, you can’t just tell me now?” Ozzy furrowed his brow, hands remaining still over his own tightly-clutched deck.

“I need to think it over,” Bitsy shrugged, “I’ll give you my answer when we’re done playing. Now, are you going to shuffle your deck or what?”

“Bossy, aren’t you, Miss Shortguard?” Ozzy grumbled, beginning to shuffle his deck. 

When he was finished, he set down the deck and gestured to her impatiently.

“Hope you think it over quick, because this match won’t last very long,” Ozzy sniffed, leaning his arm forward onto the table, “Y’know I used to play Hearthstone with my brother all the time, right?”

“...and how often did you win, exactly?” Bitsy asked, perking a pink eyebrow.

Ozzy cleared his throat, glancing aside.

“I won… uh, enough,” He shrugged, before glancing back at her, “But then, y’know, I didn’t take it as seriously back then as I am now.”

“Oh? You’re taking it seriously?” Bitsy smiled, leaning forward in her seat a bit.

“Yeah, I am,” He nodded briskly, “I’d say I got a pretty reason to.”

Bitsy smiled again, a slight pink color rising to her cheeks as Ozzy continued his intense stare in her direction.

“Well,” She cleared her throat, “Good luck, then. You’ll need it, Fizzlefuse. I’m not going to go easy on you.”

“I don’t need luck,” Ozzy grinned, “I know I’m gonna win.”

“Well, then Mister Winner,” Bitsy rolled her eyes, pulling a copper coin from her pocket, “Heads or tails?”

“Ladies’ choice,” Ozzy shrugged.

“Alright then,” Bitsy nodded, flipping the coin into the air.

She caught it on the back of her hand and slapped the other atop it, thinking for a moment.

“Heads,” She declared before removing her hand to peek down at the copper.

“Heads it is,” Ozzy remarked, stealing a quick glance at the coin, “Ladies first then.”

“Oh, gosh, what a gentleman!” Bitsy teased, pushing the coin over towards him and then drawing three cards from the top of her deck.

Ozzy just smirked in response, drawing three cards from his own.

And then the game began.


	2. Apprentices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few notes about the Hearthstone gameplay as written:
> 
> I kept all of the cards accurate to their real counterparts. In theory, you could really play out this exact game with a Rogue and Hunter deck if you happened to draw them in the same way.
> 
> That being said, I did change a few tiny details for the sake of realism within the story. To start, The Coin is not a card but a physical coin which can be used as a mana crystal. Mana crystals themselves are likely more like tokens or counters, as you often see when playing something like Magic or Card Wars. 
> 
> The only real change I made pertains to the “Discover” mechanic. They’re translated to the mechanic of searching either your own or your opponent’s deck. Because, what, are you just supposed to pull random cards out of nowhere?

Bitsy peered down at the three cards in her hands. Three spells. Not an ideal start, she thought to herself. 

The first card was a weapon, a Serrated Tooth. It didn’t do any more damage than the Wicked Dagger weapon from her heroic ability, Dagger Mastery. But it did have the bonus of only costing only a single mana stone. Consider she only had one for her first turn, it was a viable option.

The second card in her hand was a Hallucination, a spell allowing her to steal a card from his deck. It also only cost a single mana crystal, but it was probably too early to use something like that. After all, she didn’t even know what kind of deck he was using.

The third card in her hand was Roll The Bones. It would allow her to draw a card, an extra if the first had Deathrattle, but it was out of the question for now since it cost two mana to use. Maybe next turn then.

She glanced for a moment between the first two cards before deciding to play it cautiously. Slowly she flipped over her one mana counter, signifying it spent, and placed down Serrated Tooth.

Across from her, Ozzy perked an eyebrow.

“So, um, it’s a weapon,” She explained quickly, “It deals 1 damage, and has 3 durability.”

“Not a very useful weapon,” Ozzy commented, earning a flat expression from Bitsy.

“It also has a Deathrattle effect to give all my minions Rush.”

“Ah, well, slightly less useless then,” Ozzy shrugged.

Bitsy huffed and gestured towards him.

“I’ll attack you directly for 1 damage.”

“Who could’ve seen that coming?” Ozzy quipped as he moved away 1 of his health counters, leaving 29 remaining.

“Oh, shush,” Bitsy waved a hand dismissively, “There’s only so much you can even do on your first turn.”

“I know, I know,” Ozzy chuckled, “Still, could be better.”

“Is that so?” Bitsy crossed her arms, sitting back, “Well, then if you’re such an expert, then you go ahead and take your turn now.”

“With pleasure, Miss Shortguard,” Ozzy grinned and reached out, drawing his first card, “With pleasure.”

* * *

Bitsy leaned back with a pleasant smile upon her lips, watching the potion before her bubble and brew. Yet another success. She mentally patted herself on the back for yet another flawless performance.

“Well done, Shortguard,” The goblin over her shoulder said with a nod of his head.

“Thank you, Mister Pestleplugg,” Bitsy said with a nod back towards him.

Pestleplugg nodded again and then turned over towards the goblin to his side, smacking him in the back of the head.

“Why don’t you take a page from Miss Shortguard’s book, eh, Ozmyveld?” Pestleplugg said with a scowl, “You’re makin’ us goblins look bad here.”

“And here I thought causing explosions was the goblin way,” Ozzy muttered, looking up from his own erratically bubbling potion.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re real funny,” Pestleplugg rolled his eyes, “And what did I tell you about not payin’ attention to your work, eh?”

“Huh?” Ozzy quickly looked back to his potion, which looked ready to blow, and quickly scrambled to add the next ingredient.

Bitsy held up a metal tray, blocking herself from the imminent explosion.

“No, no, not that one!” Pestleplugg said quickly, “You need to add the stabilizer first!”

“But I thought that was it?”

“Oh, jeez, you’re useless! Here, quick, before it blows! Lemme just---”

Bitsy winced hearing the chemical explosion, and braced behind the metal tray. After a moment, she opened her eyes and slowly lowered the tray to take a look around. The entire store was smattered with a bright pink foam. The two goblins were also covered in it, and Bitsy was surprised when she didn’t see steam start to emerge from Pestleplugg’s head. He looked ready to explode himself. With anger.

“That’s it!” Pestleplugg growled, slinging the foam from his face and arms, “You’re done here, Fizzlefuse! I can’t afford to keep having this place cleaned!”

“I’ll pay for it?” Ozzy offered quickly, but Pestleplugg just shook his head.

“That won’t work again,” He said as he crossed his arms, “Besides, it’s clear you’ve got no future as an alchemist. You might as well just stop wasting both of our time here---”

“Aw, c’mon,” Ozzy frowned, “Just gimme another chance? One more chance?”

“What good is one more chance gonna do, Ozzy?” Pestleplugg sighed tiredly as Ozzy folded his hands together pleadingly, “You’ve been my apprentice for almost two years now, and you still can’t even make the most basic potions. You haven’t learned a thing!”

“That ain’t true,” Ozzy quickly insisted, “I’ve learned a whole lot!”

“Oh yeah?” Pestleplugg perked an eyebrow skeptically, “Well, then. How about a test?”

“A test?” Ozzy lowered his hands, blinking at the other goblin, “What kinda test?”

Pestleplugg moved over towards the counter, picking up a thick leather-bound book. He paused to wipe the pink foam from the cover, and then cracked open the book, flipping through the thick parchment pages until he stopped on one in particular. Then he held it out to Ozzy, who took the book curiously.

“This is a Catseye Elixir,” Pestleplugg explained, “It increases the user’s vision in dim light.”

Bitsy leaned over to peer at the page over Ozzy’s shoulder. It had quite a few ingredients, with Goldthorn and Fadeleaf being the primary. She rose her pink eyebrows, recalling that the latter was a very expensive and rather poisonous plant, capable of getting someone quite sick if handled improperly. Or at all. The toxins in the plant, while not deadly per se, could make someone ill from direct contact alone. And as much as she wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, she had the feeling Ozzy wasn’t as up to snuff on his botany studies as he should’ve been.

“Uh, this looks pretty complicated,” Ozzy furrowed his brow, glancing up at Pestleplugg from the book.

“Yeah well, it’d be pretty easy for someone who’s been studying Alchemy for two years,” Pestleplugg quipped, perking a greasy black eyebrow, “Someone like you. Right, Ozmyveld?”

Ozzy nodded confidently. Cocky as always, Bitsy thought to herself.

“Great,” Pestleplugg grinned, his sharp teeth having a particularly malevolent glint in Bitsy’s perspective, “Then you’ll have no trouble making it, all by yourself, will you?”

Ozzy frowned but nodded again, causing Bitsy to raise an eyebrow of her own. He wasn’t honestly planning to attempt such a complicated recipe, was he?

“Good, then you won’t mind if I step out for a minute,” Pestleplugg said as he leaned back with a smirk, “I’ve got business at the Auction House.”

“Huh?” Ozzy blinked, his confidence instantly dissipated, “But wait, what---”

“I’m sure you know where the ingredients are stored. Careful handling that Fadeleaf, eh?” Pestleplugg spoke over him, “Oh, and Shortguard, you can just head on home. We’re done for the day.”

Ozzy tried to speak again but Pestleplugg promptly swept out the front door, causing him to just frown instead and look down at the book. But then the door opened again and Pestleplugg stuck his head back inside, another malevolent grin on his lips.

“Oh, and I’m sure I don’t gotta remind you, Fizzlefuse,” He said cooly, “But if you mess this up, then you’re outta here.”

Ozzy went to reply but Pestleplugg again was out the door before he could say anything. Bitsy blinked, processing the scene she had just witnessed as she set the metal tray down on an empty spot of counter. She slowly looked up and over at Ozzy, a small smile forming on her lips.

“Hey, don’t feel so bad,” She said with a hopeful tone, “Some people just weren’t made to be alchemists.”

Ozzy briefly shot a glare over at her before approaching the counter, setting up a little workspace free of the pink foam. Then he moved across the room, to the storage cupboard full of various haphazardly organized ingredients. Bitsy perked an eyebrow as she glanced at the cupboard. It seems goblins, even professional ones, couldn’t quite escape their erratic ways.

“You waitin’ to see how I screw this one up or something, Shortguard?” Ozzy glanced over his shoulder at her.

“Hm? Oh, no,” Bitsy shook her head, “I just wanted to make sure you know how dangerous Fadeleaf is. It’s really poisonous, so make sure you don’t touch it directly, okay? You could get really sick.”

Ozzy paused, his hand mere inches from the plant in question. He drew his hand back, perking an eyebrow in Bitsy’s direction.

“You’re not messin’ with me, right?” Ozzy asked suspiciously, and Bitsy shook her head.

“Of course not. I hardly think the safe handling of noxious materials is a humorous matter,” She blinked at him.

“Yeah, well, thanks for the warning, I guess,” Ozzy shrugged, making sure to slip on a pair of leather work gloves before taking a sprig of Fadeleaf, “But you can go now.”

Bitsy watched him move back across to the workstation with the plants, approaching his side and peering down over his shoulder as he started to work. After a moment, Ozzy glanced up at her after a moment, narrowing his yellowed eyes.

“...You need something else?” He spoke up, making her shrug.

“Not really,” Bitsy said, putting a hand on her chin, “But, you know, you really wouldn't be a terrible alchemist if you could just have a little more patience.”

“Thanks for the feedback,” Ozzy mumbled, turning back to focus on his work.

“Your technique is pretty good, but you need to remember to follow the instructions in order and wait for the required intervals. Whenever you try to rush it, that’s when you get instances like… well…” Bitsy reached out, wiping up a handful of the pink foam from his shoulder, “Like this.”

“Yeah, noted,” Ozzy looked over at her flatly, “Anything else you wanna add since you’re gonna be so determined to tell me how I’m doin’ it all wrong?”

“Not all wrong,” Bitsy corrected, “Just mostly.”

“Same difference,” Ozzy shrugged, looking back at the potion.

“Now, you see? It’s that exact kind of careless indistinguishability that is the root of all your problems. That, and your penchant for being easily distracted---”

“All my problems, eh?” Ozzy repeated with a snort, not looking up, “Well, ain’t I lucky? Perfect Miss Shortguard wants to tell me how to fix all my problems.”

“All your problems with Alchemy,” Bitsy amended.

Ozzy sighed, stopping mid-gesture, and looked up at her with a tired expression.

“Can you just get outta here already, Bitsy?” Ozzy furrowed his brow, “I mean, no offense, I get you think you’re bein’ helpful and all. But you’re just bein’ kinda distracting, y’know? I gotta get this potion right, or Pestleplugg is gonna stop teachin’ me.”

“Yes, I’m aware,” Bitsy crossed her arms, “I was right here for that whole conversation, if you recall.”

“Right,” Ozzy rolled his eyes, “Y’know, you don’t have to always do that.”

“Do what?” Bitsy perked a pink eyebrow, pausing as her gaze moved past him towards the potion.

It was beginning to bubble wildly, just as the one before had. Her eyes widened at the sight and she quickly looked back at Ozzy.

“Like, correct me and stuff?” Ozzy shrugged, “It’s pretty annoying, honestly and I---”

“Right, but Ozzy, your potion is---”

“Look, I get it,” Ozzy held up his gloved hands to her, “You’re some kinda Alchemy prodigy or whatever. You don’t have to rub it in.”

“No, but Ozzy, your potion! The Fadeleaf---”

“I know, I know,” He waved a hand dismissively, “Poisonous. You told me already. I didn’t forget. I got the gloves, see? It’s fine, so---”

“No, I mean the---right now---oh, for goodness’ sake!”

Bitsy hastily reached out, grabbing his wrist, and ripped the glove off of his hand. Wasting no time to actually put it on, she used it as a holder to grasp the Fadeleaf and hastily flung it into the rattling potion. At once the potion began to calm, settling back to a patient simmer.

Ozzy glanced at the potion, realization slowly dawning on his face, and he looked back at Bitsy quickly. Bitsy perked a pink eyebrow, tossing the leather glove back at him.

“Uh, thanks,” He muttered, glancing over at the potion as he slipped the glove back onto his hand, “Y’know, for, uh…”

He gestured to the potion, flashing her a sheepish grin. 

“Like I said before,” She said as she cleared her throat, “You’d be better off if you could stop being so easily distracted.”

“Guess you should leave then,” Ozzy winked, and Bitsy felt her cheeks go pink.

She quickly assured herself that he only meant due to her chatty nature, and cleared her throat once more, nodding.

“Right, yes, of course. I’ll leave you to it.”

Then she hastily made her way to the door, grateful to feel Gadgetzan’s brisk evening air against her recently-quite-warm face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh! And one last thing! You should all check out my friend Wonder’s WoW fanfic here on AO3 about a gnoblin (half-gnome, half-goblin) who runs an engineering shop in Booty Bay. It’s called Tales From The Tinker Shop! I helped him edit it! :)


	3. Firearms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't beta or edit this chapter. There may be mistakes!

Ozzy glanced down to the newly-drawn card in his hand. Multi-Shot. Could be useful, he thought to himself, but way too expensive for the first turn. He’d at least have to wait for the fourth turn for that, and even then it’d only be useful for when she actually had minions out.

He glanced quickly at the other cards in his hand. A Vilebrood Skitterer, costing a whopping five mana. It was a fairly weak creature, but it was a Beast and it has Poisonous, both useful traits. Better to keep it until he really needed it.

His second card was a Gladiator’s Longbow, even pricier at seven mana. But it was definitely worth the hefty price, doing 5 damage with each hit and making him Immune from taking any damage in return. But that would be for much, much later on.

And then his final card, a particularly lucky draw with Arcane Shot. Only costing a single mana, it simply dealt 2 direct damage to any target. Where was the downside in that? And it didn’t hurt that it had been a first turn draw, given that nothing else in his hand would be viable for several turns at least.

With a cocky grin not belying just how hellbent he was, Ozzy turned over his single mana crystal and set Arcane Shot out on the table. He was confident that she’d never know that this was quite literally his only possible move, though her expression immediately made him think otherwise.

“...What?” He asked slowly, perking a black eyebrow.

“Hm? Oh, I didn’t say anything,” She said quickly, suppressing a smile.

Ozzy furrowed his brow, shooting a suspicious glance at her before gesturing to the card on the table once again.

“Alright, well, I’m gonna send 2 damage your way.”

Bitsy nodded, taking away 2 of her health pool, leaving 28 remaining.

“Guess that puts me in the lead,” Ozzy quipped, earning him a roll of the eyes.

“Oh, don’t get so excited. It’s only by 1 point,” Bitsy shrugged.

“Hey, don’t knock a 1 point lead. Games have been won and lost over 1 point, y’know.”

“Yes, well I think it’s safe to say you’re still quite a ways from either winning or losing right now, Fizzlefuse,” Bitsy pointed out.

“Only for now,” Ozzy grinned, “Don’t worry, I’ll win soon enough, Bitsy. It’s only a matter of time.”

“Awfully confident for someone with nothing good in their hand, aren’t you?” Bitsy perked an eyebrow.

Ozzy rose his eyebrows in surprise, tacitly asking how she could possibly tell, and she just gave a little shrug.

“You don’t have a very good poker face,” She said with a chuckle, before adding, “So, are you done your turn now?”

“Huh? Oh, uh, right,” Ozzy waved a hand, gesturing for her to take her turn.

But then as Bitsy reached towards her deck, he set an elbow on the table and leaned forward.

“Wait, whaddya mean I don’t have a good poker face?” He perked an eyebrow, “I have a great poker face.”

“Not really,” Bitsy looked over at him, “I can always tell what you’re thinking when you look at your cards.”

She paused, setting her hand upon her chin.

“Actually, I can always kind of tell what you’re thinking by looking at your face, anymore.”

Ozzy scowled slightly, trying to ignore the faint blush on his cheeks, and sat back in his seat. Bitsy blinked at him curiously in response. Ozzy just shook his head, waving his hand at her.

“Just take your turn already, Shortguard,” He said quickly, maybe a little too quickly.

* * *

As Ozzy stepped out of Pestleplugg’s shop for what was likely the last time, he was pleasantly surprised that it wasn’t in disgrace. Pestleplugg himself had said he had nothing more to teach him. A few months ago, the old man had been ready to toss him out into the street. But now here he was, graduating from his apprentice status to… well, nothing in particular. But, hey, it was an achievement nonetheless!

Ever since Bitsy had stuck her tiny nose in and started guiding him, he’d finally started to make real progress for the first time since he’d started to study Alchemy. Sure, it’d taken a few months to get back on track and break his bad habits, but she was surprisingly patient with him for someone so hyperactive herself. 

Ozzy chuckled, shaking his head at the thought, and pulled a cigar from the humidor case at the breast pocket of his coat. No sooner had he lit the end of his cigar and taken a puff than the door behind him opened. He stepped out of the path, glancing back to see Bitsy. At least, he was pretty sure it was her. He perked an eyebrow at the stack of thick leather books in her arms, which towered over her head, and leaned over so that he could see her face.

“Got a busy night ahead of you, eh?” Ozzy grinned, gesturing towards the stack of books.

“Yes, you could say that,” Bitsy chuckled, her voice sounding a bit strained.

“Here, lemme help,” Ozzy said as he pulled a couple books from the top of the stack, shrinking it until he was able to clearly see her face.

“Ah, thank you,” She smiled sheepishly, as though embarrassed by her own struggle.

“Hey, don’t sweat it,” He shrugged, determined not to reveal his own struggle with the surprisingly heavy books, “So where are you headed with this little library of yours?”

“Just home,” Bitsy said as she walked towards the road, “Um, would you mind…?”

“Well, I’m in it this far, so I guess I can’t back outta it now,” Ozzy shrugged, his tone playful.

“Don’t worry, I don’t live far,” Bitsy reassured him, flashing a quick apologetic smile.

“Yeah, you better not,” Ozzy chuckled as he began to follow her.

Saying she didn’t live far was the understatement of the century. Her house was a mere two buildings down on the other side of the street. Ozzy perked an eyebrow at the exterior of the little house, which was just as frilly and prissy as the gnome herself. Little cloth flower boxes decorated the front windows, and the welcome mat had a gnomish phrase that translated to three different puns simultaneously.

“Very efficient,” He snorted, eyeing the mat.

“Hm? What’s that?” Bitsy turned to him as she unlocked the front door.

“Ah, nothing, nothing,” Ozzy shook his head quickly, and Bitsy shrugged, leading him inside.

The inside of the house was no better, but at least it didn’t smell like old people. It had that sort of appearance to it where it should’ve. It definitely should’ve smelled like a bunch of old ladies lived there, what with all the doilies and knitted decor. Ozzy paused, glancing at a quilt depicting a bunch of half-naked muscular human men, then turned to Bitsy with a perked eyebrow.

“M-My mother made it,” She explained quickly, “She’s quite, er, fascinated by humans.”

‘Uh huh,” Ozzy nodded skeptically, before clearing his throat, “Anywhere, where do ya want me to put these?”

“Oh, um, you can just put them over by the desk,” She said as she set her own stack of books on an end table. 

“What are all these books about, anyway?” Ozzy asked as he set the stack of books onto her neat little desk, “Recipes and stuff?”

“Oh, yes. Among other things!” Bitsy beamed, counting off on her fingers, “Recipes, botanical guides, compilations of engineering schematics---”

“Schematics, eh?” Ozzy glanced over at the books, “For what?”

“Well, all sorts of things. I’m quite fascinated by goblin engineering,” Bitsy smiled, approaching the desk, “It’s all so different from gnomish engineering. It’s certainly much less efficient, but also much more… exciting.”

“Explosive, you mean,” Ozzy grinned, and Bitsy shrugged in response.

“Explosive, exciting. Same difference, isn’t that what you always say?” She chuckled.

“Oh, a woman after my own heart, eh?” He quipped, his grin only growing wider when her cheeks started to burn pink.

“H-Huh?” She blinked, going wide-eyed.

“Nothing, nothing,” Ozzy waved a hand dismissively, before adding, “So you’re tryin’ to learn goblin engineering, huh?”

“Oh, only on the side,” Bitsy tapped her chin, “Sort of just to sate my curiosity. I doubt I’ll ever have use for so many different types of explosives.”

“Explosives are nice and all,” Ozzy shrugged, “But I think the guns are the best part.”

“Hm? You refer to the firearms?” Bitsy perked an eyebrow, “I confess I don’t have much experience with the construction of such things. I don’t really think I could wield them very well.”

“Whaddya mean?” Ozzy furrowed his brow in confusion.

“Well, firearms are so big, and so heavy,” She explained, “You see, one time when I was in Ironforge, I watched some dwarven weaponsmiths try their hand at constructing a rather simple blunderbuss. It looked like it’d be much too unwieldy for me to carry, so I never really thought to try and make one myself.”

“Oh, well there’s your problem,” Ozzy grinned, reaching behind his back, “You’re thinking about a gun made for dwarves.”

Bitsy peered at him curiously, her eyes widening when he pulled a gun from the well-hidden holster at his hip.

“Y-You just have one of those things on you?!” She furrowed her brow, “At all times?!”

“Well, yeah?” Ozzy shrugged, “I mean, c’mon? Have you seen how much crime we’ve had around here lately?”

“Um, well, I suppose there has been a slight uptick in crime in Gadgetzan lately,” She conceded, before quickly adding, “But still! To just leisurely carry a weapon around like that is…”

“Oh, please,” Ozzy rolled his eyes, “Like people ain’t always runnin’ around with swords drawn and stuff.”

“Even so…” Bitsy frowned, eyeing the gun warily.

Ozzy perked an eyebrow at her before holding out the gun.

“...You wanna hold it?”

“What?” Bitsy’s eyes doubled in size, “Oh, goodness, no. No thank you.”

“Ah, c’mon,” Ozzy waggled the gun before her, “It ain’t gonna bite.”

“W-Well…”

With much hesitation, Bitsy finally reached a hand out and took a tentative grasp onto the handle. She moved it about cautiously for a moment, as though expecting it to yell at her or something. Ozzy chuckled as he watched her, and the sound seemed to spur a sense of confidence in her. She started to whip the gun about, posing with it like she was a SI:7 agent or something. It only made Ozzy chuckle again and move over to her side.

“Easy there, killer,” He said as he reached out and adjusted her grip, so that her finger was no longer grazing the trigger, “Last thing you want it to shoot a hole through that oh-so-lovely quilt of yours, eh?”

Bitsy blushed again, pausing and looking up at him like she just remembered he was there. That wasn’t particularly reassuring to Ozzy, considering she was technically holding a loaded gun and all.

“Uhh, why don’t I just take that before you hurt somebody?” He chuckled uncomfortably, slipping his hand past hers and taking the gun from her grasp.

“It’s still rather heavy, but not so much as I would’ve expected,” Bitsy commented, like she was giving a report or something, “Perhaps it just requires dedicated construction for a proper size to suit a goblin.”

“Or a gnome,” Ozzy added, returning his gun to the holster at his hip.

“Yes, or a gnome,” She nodded in agreement.

“...Uh, anyway, I should probably get goin’ now,” Ozzy cleared his throat, breaking the silence before it had a chance to settle in.

“Oh, yes, of course,” Bitsy blinked, “Thank you again for helping me to carry the books.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ozzy waved a hand dismissively, “Don’t mention it. Really. Don’t.”

The two said their goodbyes, and then Ozzy stepped outside. He glanced over at the cloth flower box beside him and shook his head in amusement, before heading off into the evening.


	4. The Kiss

Bitsy smiled over at Ozzy before drawing her card. But when she eyed the card, the corners of her smile twitched and threatened to fall. Yet another spell; Sap. Perfect, just what she needed, she thought to herself bitterly. All while keeping her perky smile in place. After all, presentation was half the game.

She set the Sap card into her hand, next to her Roll The Bones and Hallucination cards. She considered using Roll The Bones for a moment, but again decided to go for her previous plan. It was the safer bet. Eyeing her two mana crystals for a moment, she nodded to herself before clearing her throat and looking over at Ozzy.

“I’ll attack you directly using the Serrated Tooth, dealing 1 damage.”

Ozzy nodded, taking away 1 counter from his health pool, leaving 28.

“No cards, eh?” He perked an eyebrow, sounding slightly amused.

“Nope,” Bitsy shook her head, her ping pigtails bobbing, “I’ve got a different plan in mind.”

“Oh, then by all means, do go on,” Ozzy gestured for her to continue, a curious glimmer in his eyes as he watched her closely.

“Now I’ll pay both of my mana crystals to activate my heroic ability, Dagger Mastery.”

“Uh, remind me. What’s that do again?”

“It creates a weapon, a Wicked Dagger,” She explained quickly, “It deals 1 damage, and has 2 durability.”

Ozzy perked an eyebrow again, glancing down as she quickly skimmed through her side deck. Once she found her Wicked Dagger card, she set it on the table and looked back at him.

“But wait, don’t you still got 1 durability on that first weapon?”

“Yes, but this is more efficient to replace it early,” Bitsy insisted, hoping he wouldn’t see through the rather-transparent fact that she had nothing else to do, “That way I can save all three of my mana crystals next turn for something else.”

“...Uh huh,” Ozzy nodded skeptically, his eyebrow never lowering, “If you say so.”

Bitsy huffed slightly in feigned offense, but didn’t make much of a fuss about it. After all, she didn’t want to overplay her hand and make her unpleasant position too obvious.

“I already attacked with my previous weapon, so I can’t attack again this turn,” Bitsy commented.

“Thanks for stating the obvious,” Ozzy chuckled, “Guess that means you’re all done your turn now?”

Bitsy paused, giving a quick glance to every facet of the game. The table, her hand, the backs of the cards in his hand, and the top of her deck. Once she confirmed everything was in place, she turned to him, noting the amused smirk on his lips as he watched her.

“Yes, I will conclude my turn now,” She said with a nod.

Ozzy chuckled, reaching to draw his card, and gave a quick glance in her direction.

“You’re so paranoid sometimes, Shortguard,” He commented, causing her to perk an eyebrow curiously.

“Hm? What do you mean?”

“You have 2 mana, which you already spent,” He shrugged lightly, “Whaddya think you could’ve possibly forgotten to do?”

“I just want to cover all the bases,” She said defensively, and he just chuckled at her.

“You’re so cautious, Bitsy,” Ozzy responded with a grin, drawing his card, “It’s awfully cute, y’know.”

* * *

Ozzy fidgeted uncomfortably in his seat, earning a raised eyebrow from his group of companions.

“What?” He shrugged, “My back is killin’ me, alright? How long have we been sittin’ here already, anyway?”

“Jeez, at least a couple hours now, right?” One of his goblin compatriots, Rizzo, answered, glancing up from the cards in his hand.

“Yeah, it’s gettin’ pretty late,” Another goblin, Zed, commented, “I think this is gonna be my last game.”

“Well, even if it is the last one, we’re gonna be here until morning, given how long Veex takes with his turns,” The goblin named Fozie quipped, earning a few scattered murmurs of agreement.

“Hey, you can’t rush perfection!” Veex huffed, drawing his cards close to his chest.

“Jeez, you sound like a gnome,” Rizzo snorted in amusement, making Veex scowl with offense.

“I don’t know why you guys even try so hard,” Fozie sighed, “We already know Ozzy’s just gonna win again.”

“Hey, it’s still anybody’s game,” Ozzy reassured him, though was only met with skeptical looks in response.

“Oh c’mon,” Fozie insisted, “You always win, Ozzy. You’re a Hearthstone pro or something.”

“Yeah, this is why we only invite you once a month,” Zed chuckled.

“Hey, it’s not my fault you guys are terrible,” Ozzy said in mock defense, earning a couple of grins around the table.

“He’s got you there, Veex,” Rizzo snickered, elbowing the other goblin’s side playfully.

“Hey, he was referring to everyone,” Veex pointed out.

“I think I’m just gonna turn in here,” Zed said with a yawn, “I’m gettin’ too tired to finish this match.”

“I gotta get goin’ too, actually,” Fozie nodded as he stood up, “Almost time for my night shift at the Auction House. Gotta get there early before the customers have a chance to notice the change.”

“They never notice,” Rizzo sighed, “We’re all just faceless auctioneers to them.”

As Fozie and Zed took their leave, the match continued with the three remaining goblins. As they played, they shared amusing stories from their respective shifts in the Auction House. Ozzy amused them with a tale of one curious troll who stripped the clothes off his body and offered them up for sale right there at the counter. Rizzo told of a dwarf who staggered in so drunk he couldn’t walk straight and attempted to barter with him while slurring every other word. And Veex told the most interesting story of the lot, regarding a tear-filled reunion between a Forsaken woman and a human who was apparently her long-lost son.

“Really makes you think,” Rizzo nodded, “Horde. Alliance. They ain’t all that different, eh?”

“Doesn’t really matter to us though, eh?” Ozzy shrugged, “The Steamweedle Cartel is neutral on that stuff, so it ain’t really any of our business.”

“Maybe,” Rizzo shrugged, “But it ain’t always been that way. We were on the side of the Horde back in the Second War, right?”

“Uh, yeah,” Ozzy glanced aside, his discomfort with the topic quickly beginning to surge.

“Actually, ain’t your dad a veteran of that war, Fizzlefuse?” Veez blinked over at him, “He was a sapper, wasn’t he?”

“...I think I’m gonna call it a night here,” Ozzy said uncomfortably, standing up rather quickly.

“Hey, then maybe you’ll get your chance to win after all, Veex,” Rizzo grinned, elbowing the other goblin again.

Veex scowled and moved over to take a seat at the opposite side of the table, so the two of them could continue the match as a duel. Ozzy said a few quick parting words to them before they got too engrossed in the game, and began to make his way out of the Road Warrior.

But as he reached the door, the sound of familiar laugh caused him to stop short. He looked back curiously, perking an eyebrow. He looked over towards the bar, and was surprised to see Bitsy leaning against the counter like it was a life preserver amidst a sea of alcohol. Ozzy chuckled at the sight of the gnome in such a state. It was quite the contrast from her usual demeanor.

But then his smile dropped when he saw the goblin sitting at the bar beside her. He was talking about something or other, which Ozzy couldn't quite hear over the din of the inn. But whatever he was talking about was drawing Bitsy’s attention, for she stared at the goblin with a bleary, drunken gaze. Ozzy perked an eyebrow, already quite familiar with the scenario. He’d seen it play out a dozen times. And, sure enough, the goblin made broad and exciting storytelling gestures with one hand… while the other drifted towards her pocket.

Furrowing his brow, Ozzy walked over towards the bar and casually inserted himself directly in the space against the bar between the two of them. The other goblin drew back his hand in surprise, while Bitsy just drunkenly stared on, completely unfazed by his arrival.

“Hey, look who it is,” Ozzy grinned, “How ya doin’ tonight, Shortguard?”

“Huh? Who’sh that?” Bitsy blinked slowly, wobbling in her seat as she tried to turn to look at him.

“Jeez, you’re pretty smashed, eh?” Ozzy chuckled, glancing back at the pickpocket behind him.

As he had expected, the other goblin was nowhere to be seen. Probably took off as soon as he’d arrived. Eh, good riddance, he thought to himself. He glanced back ahead, looking at Bitsy and shaking his head slightly at her sorry state.

“Bad day or something?” Ozzy perked an eyebrow.

Bitsy just groaned in response, leaning forward to slap her cheek against the cool surface of the bar. Ozzy nodded to himself, recalling having been there himself back in the past. After a moment she sat up again, nearly falling out of her seat from the movement.

“Alright, Shortguard,” Ozzy sighed, reaching out to help steady her, “I think you’ve had enough for tonight. Let’s get you home, eh?”

Bitsy looked over at him, though she didn’t seem to actually see him, as a crooked smile played at her lips.

“...Your place or mine?” She asked with a hiccup.

Ozzy just rolled his eyes, taking a hold of her arm to help her out of her seat. He tried to ignore the blush at his cheeks from her implication, knowing she was likely too drunk to even remember what she just said. It didn’t actually mean anything.

Once he managed to pull Bitsy to her feet, he guided her out of the Road Warrior and to the street. In the back of his mind, he tried to recall just where her house had been. He knew it was right near Pestleplugg’s alchemy shop, so it was just a few blocks from the Road Warrior. He glanced over at Bitsy, hoping she would be able to walk that far. He really didn’t feel like carrying her.

“Alright, Bitsy, slow steps,” Ozzy held her hand as they started to walk, “Nice and easy, eh?”

Bitsy hummed absently and just leaned her head against his shoulder, slumping tiredly into his side. Ozzy sighed, already knowing this would be a difficult trek. But even so, they had to start. So he put an arm around her shoulder, and began to guide her down the street.

“...Shtupid factory…” Bitsy mumbled, her words muffled by the fabric of his shirt.

“Eh?” Ozzy glanced over at her, “What’s that?”

“...hate that place…” She mumbled, turning her head slightly and making her words come unmuffled, “...no...creativity…”

Ozzy perked an eyebrow, trying to piece together the sentence fragments in his head. Then he looked back over at her.

“Oh, you’re workin’ at that factory now? The one run by the Water Company?”

Bitsy nodded, rubbing her cheek against his shoulder.

“What is it they build there again?” Ozzy perked an eyebrow, hoping to keep her conscious enough to walk by talking with her.

“Pumpsh…” Bitsy sighed heavily, “For wellsh.”

“Oh, right, right,” Ozzy nodded, glancing back at the road.

Only one street left to go. Once they rounded this next corner, they’d be home free. Well, she would, at least.

“I hate it,” Bitsy grumbled, “No… creativity…”

“Yeah, you mentioned that,” Ozzy frowned, “But it’s necessary, right? Helpin’ people live across Tanaris and stuff? Can’t live in the desert without wells.”

Bitsy just grunted, having no viable response to that. She was probably too drunk to engage in a debate on the merits of building wells across Tanaris, he acknowledged. Fortunately, they arrived in front of her house a few moments later. He was certain it was hers due to the little cloth flower boxes lining the front windows. A house like hers was one of a kind in Gadgetzan, unique as the gnome that owned it.

“Well, we’re here,” Ozzy announced to her, slightly relieved when she opened her eyes and looked up, “You gonna be alright gettin’ in by yourself?”

Bitsy nodded slightly, pulling away from his shoulder at last. She looked up at the house, thankfully seeming to recognize it was hers. Then she turned over towards Ozzy.

“Thanksh,” She slurred in his direction.

“Heh, so polite even when you’re two steps from passin’ out,” He grinned in amusement.

“I’m not two shteps from…” She responded, her words tapering off to an inaudible mumble.

Then she took two steps towards him, as though she was trying to prove some kind of point. Ozzy perked an eyebrow at her, a snarky response primed and ready on his lips. But the words never got their time to shine, because she drunkenly smashed her lips against his before he could speak.

Ozzy blinked and hastily stepped back in surprise. As a result, she lost her balance and nearly fell over. He caught her by the shoulders before she could go down. 

Furrowing his brow, he found that the well of his patience had quickly run dry with that kiss. Holding her in place by the shoulder with one hand, his other hand moved down to her pants pocket. He felt each one until he found her house keys, ignoring her confused giggling in response, even as it made his ears start to burn.

Clearing his throat, he retrieved her keys and impatiently escorted her over towards the door. Then he unlocked the door and pushed her inside. She turned to him curiously as he tossed her keys at her, which she didn’t catch, of course.

“Okay, well, you should go sleep it off now,” He said quickly, “Um, night.”

Then he pulled the door closed and hastily departed for the Road Warrior, deciding he’d need a drink of his own after all this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ozzy: *hops aboard the Nope Train*


	5. The Investment

Ozzy glanced at his deck warily before drawing a card. Slowly, he flipped it over and looked at it. Kill Command. He tried not to frown, knowing the spell cost three mana. And he only had two this turn.

...Or did he?

He paused, looking over at the copper coin sitting next to his mana counters. Of course, he could always use the coin to get one more mana. This turn only, of course.

He glanced at the card in his hand again. Kill Command could deal 5 damage if he had a Beast on the field. He certainly had a Beast in his hand, the Vilebrood Skitterer, but that was too expensive. Even if he used the coin for the one additional mana, he’d still have to wait until the next turn to play the minion, hope it didn’t get immediately destroyed, and then play Kill Command in the next turn.

He had another alternative, however. Because Kill Command could be used if he didn’t have a Beast on the field, too. The trade off, of course, was that it would do reduced damage. Without a Beast minion in his control, Kill Command would only do 3 damage. But, hey, 3 damage was 3 damage, right?

“Tick tock,” Bitsy quipped, perking an eyebrow at him.

“Huh?” Ozzy looked up, drawn from his focus, “Oh, yeah, yeah. I’m just thinkin’ for a second…”

“Don’t hurt yourself,” Bitsy teased, making Ozzy furrow his brow.

Yep, he concluded. 3 damage was 3 damage.

“You’re the one who should be worried about gettin’ hurt,” Ozzy grinned, sliding the coin back over towards her across the table, “Gonna use this for an additional mana.”

Bitsy perked an eyebrow, taking the coin and pocketing it once more.

“Ooh, so you actually have a plan, then? You’re not just bluffing?”

“Bluffing?” Ozzy gasped, feigning offense, “Oh, I never bluff.”

“Mmhm? Well, then finish your turn,” Bitsy smiled.

“With pleasure,” Ozzy chuckled, before setting the card down onto the table.

Bitsy leaned forward, peering down at it curiously.

“Gonna pay all 3 of my mana this turn, hit you for 3 damage directly.”

Bitsy removed 3 counters from her mana pool, shrinking it down to only 25. And putting him back in the lead, Ozzy thought to himself.

“Don’t worry, that lead won’t last,” Bitsy shrugged, smiling sweetly.

Ozzy scowled, sitting back a little.

“Hey, stop reading my thoughts, or whatever,” He grumbled, crossing his arms, “That’s not allowed. That’s, like, against the rules or something.”

“Actually, I believe it’s quite a valid tactic,” Bitsy quipped, “And I’m reading your expressions, if you recall.”

“Yeah, yeah, I recall,” Ozzy waved his hand dismissively.

“Oh, don’t pout, Ozzy,” Bitsy chuckled, “I can’t take you seriously like that.”

Ozzy furrowed his brow, feeling his cheeks heat up slightly. How was she making him feel embarrassed? He was the one in the lead! Wasn’t it supposed to go the other way?!

“Ugh, whatever! So, you gonna take your turn already or what? C’mon, let’s get goin’ already. Chop chop, Shortguard!”

Bitsy hummed and reached towards her deck, flashing him a quick smile.

“I hope you don’t pout like this when I win, too,” She quipped, making him glance back at her.

“You’re not gonna win.”

Bitsy hummed again and finally drew her card.

* * *

Bitsy sighed wearily as she shut the front door to her house, shoving her keys deep into the front pocket of her bland brown coveralls. She hated her work uniform. In the right lighting, it made her body blend in with the sand, like she was just a floating head with no body at all. And in the wrong lighting, it made her look like a shameless nudist. Her cheeks flushed slightly at the thought alone, and she shook her head to dismiss the images from her mind.

After making sure the house was locked up, she began to make her way for the factory. She’d been working there, under the employ of the Gadgetzan Water Company, for the past few months. And every day, when she clocked in for her shift in front of the assembly line, she felt her zest for life die a little bit more.

She hated the monotony of it all. The faceless nature of it all. It was unlike any engineering she’d ever done before. All she got to do every day was quality check the various metallic impeller fans, each one exactly the same as the last, as they zoomed by on the conveyor belt. If she was lucky, she’d get to press the stop button and pull a malformed fan from the belt. And that was on an exciting day!

Bitsy groaned aloud, hanging her head forward as she walked. She did her best to remind herself that this was only transitional. Just for a little while. And then, once she saved up enough money, she’d be able to buy her own store. And then she could do some real engineering, not just stare at an assembly line.

“Rough night, Miss Shortguard?”

Bitsy looked up at the sound of the familiar voice, spotting Ozzy walking alongside her.

“Rough night, rough day, rough life,” Bitsy grumbled, causing him to perk an eyebrow.

“Hey, what happened to the perky little gnome I used to know?” He asked in a playful tone, yet with a rather concerned expression exposing his true feelings.

Bitsy chuckled slightly, stopping in place. Ever since she’d met him, he’d always had such a horrible poker face. One look at him, and you could practically read his mind. And even though his tone was jovial, she could tell he was worried for her. She would’ve found it sweet, if she wasn’t already so weary of her own existence.

“She’s in there, somewhere,” She shrugged tiredly, “Buried beneath all the impeller fans, I think.”

Ozzy cocked his head to the side before nodding in recognition.

“Ah, still hatin’ your job at the factory, eh?” He frowned, “I’d have thought you’d be outta there by now, given how much you don’t seem to like it.”

“Oh, I wish,” She sighed, “I’d love to be out of that factory.”

“But?” Ozzy perked an eyebrow.

“But I need the money,” She sighed.

“Oh, jeez,” Ozzy frowned, glancing around before leaning forward slightly, his voice low, “Are you in some kinda, uh, trouble with one of the gangs, or something?”

“Hm?” Bitsy blinked, quickly shaking her head, “Err, what gangs?”

“Ah, nothing, nothing. Forget I said anything,” Ozzy quickly waved a hand in the air to dismiss the words, “So, whaddya need the money so bad for, then?”

“The Shortshop,” Bitsy smiled.

Ozzy blinked back at her, scratching his cheek.

“Uhh, the what?” He furrowed his brow, “Is that, like, some kinda clothes thing?”

“Huh? No,” Bitsy frowned, “It’s my engineering shop!”

“Oh, that makes more sense,” Ozzy nodded slowly, looking like he wanted to say something else.

Bitsy looked at him flatly, waiting for him to just speak his mind. He was a goblin, after all. It’d come eventually. And just when she thought maybe she’d need to prompt him on it after all, he spoke up. Because, of course he did.

“It’s just… that name,” He mumbled, glancing aside.

“The name?” Bitsy blinked, “What? What’s wrong with the name?”

“I dunno, it just sounds like a place you’d go to buy, like, shorts, y’know?” Ozzy shrugged.

“No it doesn’t,” Bitsy insisted, crossing her arms, “It doesn’t.”

“If you say so.”

A beat passed.

“...Okay, maybe it does,” Bitsy conceded, more than a little bitterly, “But it doesn’t matter. I’ll have plenty of time to think of a new one while I’m working at the factory. It’s not like it requires any real brain power, after all.”

Ozzy frowned, glancing aside again. He looked to be in thought about something, before looking back at her slowly.

“You, uh, really hate that job, eh?” He chuckled uncomfortably.

“You have no idea,” Bitsy nodded, sighing wearily, “But at least I’ll only have 2 more years of this. Well, technically 2.5 years. I’ve already calculated a chart based upon my weekly paycheck, which means it’ll take me approximately 30 months. Assuming I work double shifts, all weekends, and all holidays for the next---”

“Okay, okay,” Ozzy held up his hands, “I’m gonna stop you right there.”

Bitsy paused, blinking at him curiously. Ozzy hesitated for a moment, glancing aside again briefly, before clearing his throat.

“...I’ll pay for it,” He blurted after a moment, like the words physically burned him to say.

Which, considering the rather inseparable nature of goblins and their money, they probably did.

“I… you… huh?” Bitsy stared at him incredulously, “You’ll what?”

“I’ll pay for your little store,” He repeated, clearly not sounding very happy to do so, like his own words displeased him.

“You will?” Bitsy rose her pink eyebrow, “Um, but… why?”

“Call it an investment,” Ozzy waved a hand dismissively.

Bitsy stared at him, unconvinced and clearly wanting a better answer. After a moment, Ozzy sighed and relented.

“I saw the stuff you’d make back at Pestleplugg’s in your spare time,” Ozzy explained, sounding rather grouchy he had to do so, “You weren’t even really trying, but it was always so well-made. And it never even exploded. Not even once!”

“But what does that---”

“Look,” Ozzy cut her off, “I know if you make a store where you sell all that stuff, then it’s gonna be successful. And success means profits. And investing means getting a cut of those profits. Got it? That’s all this is. Just business.”

Yet, despite the harshness of his words, his flustered expression once again gave away his true thoughts on the matter. Bitsy thought it over before a broad smile formed on her lips.

“Alright then,” Bitsy extended her hand, “I’ll take your investment offer, Mister Fizzlefuse.”

Ozzy reached to shake her hand, but Bitsy pulled it back at the last second.

“On one condition,” She amended.

Ozzy perked an eyebrow curiously.

“I want you to help me manage the business side of things,” She explained, “I’m not very good with those things.”

Bitsy then extended her hand once more.

“Heh, yeah, you’re not the best negotiator, either,” Ozzy grinned, taking her hand in his and shaking it.

Maybe she was just in high spirits from her sudden turn of luck. But as Bitsy smiled back at Ozzy, she had the feeling this was the beginning of a beautiful partnership.


	6. Grand Tour

Bitsy looked down at her newly-drawn card with a smile, beginning to form several ideas in her head. Sinister Strike. A perfect way to dish back the 3 damage to Ozzy in one fell swoop. And all for only a single mana.

But she could also do one better.

She glanced at the cards in her hand, looking at Roll The Bones. At only costing two mana, she’d be able to do it in combination with Sinister Strike. A perfect combo.

“I told you that lead wouldn’t last,” Bitsy smiled as she flipped a single mana token.

Ozzy perked an eyebrow, watching as she set Sinister Strike down in front of him. Then he sighed and scooped up 3 of his health counters, leaving them tied, once again, this time at 25.

“Oh, I hope you don’t think I’m done there,” Bitsy giggled, flipping over her two remaining mana crystals.

Ozzy frowned in response as she set Roll The Bones onto the table.

“I get to draw a card. And if it has the Deathrattle effect, I get to draw another.”

Ozzy nodded, waving a hand dismissively.

“That’s fine,” He shrugged, “I was expecting you had something worse for me than you just drawing a card, so honestly, this is a relief.”

“Hey, draw power is an essential aspect to deck construction,” Bitsy chided, setting her hand over her deck.

“Essential? Fine. But that doesn’t make it interesting.”

Bitsy hummed and glanced at her deck. She really could’ve used a minion with Deathrattle right about then. Heck, a minion at all would be simply stellar. Especially if it was one she could afford to use next turn.

The card drawn, as it so happened, was Tomb Pillager. A minion with 5 attack and 4 health. And, as luck would have it, Deathrattle. The effect would allow her to gain a coin upon the minion’s death, which was pleasantly all-applicable.

“The card I drew has Deathrattle,” Bitsy clarified, reaching for the deck again.

“Good to know,” Ozzy quipped, earning an unimpressed glance.

Then Bitsy drew again, marveling at her luck. That is, before she saw the card she drew. Oh, great, she thought. Just what she needed. A second Sap.

“No Deathrattle,” She grumbled, stuffing Sap at the back of her hand.

Behind the first one.

“Bad draw, eh?” Ozzy chuckled, clearly delighting at her apparent misfortune.

“Not bad,” She clarified, “Just, ah, not quite what I was hoping for.”

“Well, they can’t all be a perfect draw,” Ozzy shrugged, “Anyway, you about done your turn then?”

“Oh, no, no, no,” Bitsy smirked, shaking her head, “Nice try, mister.”

Bitsy tapped her Wicked Knife.

“I’ll attack you directly for 1 more damage, if you don’t mind.”

“I do mind, actually,” Ozzy chuckled, setting aside one more of his health counters.

“And, would you look at that?” Bitsy eyed his health pool, “You have only 24 left. Yet I have 25. Correct me if I’m wrong, but that puts me in the lead, does it not?”

“Only by 1 point,” Ozzy protested, but Bitsy readily waggled a finger.

“Now, now, Mister Fizzlefuse,” She smiled, “Games have been won and lost over 1 point.”

* * *

When Ozzy stepped through the door, a little contraption beside the door dinged a bell. He paused to peer at it curiously. It was jury-rigged out of an old alarm clock, a plastic straw, and a small sandbag half-full of, unsurprisingly, sand. Likely sand taken from the street outside, if the front walkway was anything to go by.

“Ah, you’re here!” Bitsy beamed, sweeping forward from the doorway behind the main counter, “Well? What do you think?”

Ozzy looked about the room, black eyebrows steadily rising higher and higher. It was pretty impressive what she was able to pull together so quickly. And the fact that she’d been able to do it on the rather pitiful decor budget he’d allotted for her was even more impressive.

“Not bad, not bad,” He concluded with a nod of his head.

Bitsy squealed in excitement, her joy practically bursting at the seams. Ozzy couldn’t help but smirk as he watched her spin around happily at the swivel chair behind the counter.

“I’m glad you like it! I worked really hard to make it look impressive!”

“Well, you succeeded,” Ozzy nodded again.

“Oh!” Bitsy suddenly leapt up from the chair, “Let me give you the grand tour!”

First she gestured around the main entry room, where they were standing. He had a feeling this would be where the bulk of the shop’s comings and goings went down. There was the service counter, of course, where Bitsy sat beside the till. And then there were the various half-filled shelves lining the walls.

“A little low on stock, eh?” He commented, to which she shrugged.

“Well, this all happened so suddenly that I didn’t have time to build a full stock yet,” She explained, pausing a moment before adding, “Oh! Speaking of which, let me show you the storage room!”

Ozzy blinked as she hastily grabbed his hand and pulled him into the back door, emerging into a small, dimly-lit hallway. She pulled him through the first doorway in the hall, nearly ripping his arm out of the socket as she bounded onward.

“This is where I’ll be able to put all of the surplus stock, once I’m able to catch up!”

Ozzy nodded, barely getting a moment to glance around the large empty room before she was pulling him back into the hall. Then she led him into the second doorway of the hall. This room was much smaller than the prior, and was already decorated with various shelves and tables. Upon the tables sat burners and bottles, and it didn’t take a genius to recognize a hastily-set alchemy station.

“Planning on makin’ potions too, eh?” Ozzy asked, to which Bitsy shrugged.

“Maybe! We’ll see!”

“Y’know, I could help out with that,” He offered, to which she just laughed.

“Thanks for the offer, but I’d prefer if my shop didn’t blow up,” She smiled, “Not so soon after getting it!”

“Okay, ow,” He frowned, “But also, very fair.”

“Oh, and now let me show you the last room!” She beamed, bouncing excitedly in place, “I saved the best for last!”

Ozzy perked an eyebrow, letting her pull him along to the third, and final, door of the hallway. She stole a quick smile back at him before opening the door. Ozzy perked an eyebrow, stepping inside. It appeared to be some kind of office, from a first glance. At least, if the one big table and chair in the middle was anything to go by.

“What’s this? An office?” He looked back at Bitsy.

“Our office,” She corrected, gesturing forward again.

Ozzy looked forward at the room again, only just coming to realize that there were, in fact, two desks facing towards each other, chairs on each side. Not just one.

“Oh, jeez,” Ozzy smiled, approaching one of the desks, “You even set one up for me?”

He ran his hand over the surface of the desk, grinning to himself. He’d always liked the idea of being a white collar worker. He turned back to Bitsy, ready to thank her, when he caught sight of her overbearingly happy smile. It was infectious, that smile, and he found that he couldn’t resist smiling back.

“Y’know, you got a real nice smile, Shortguard,” He decided to tell her, though he was at a loss as to why.

Apparently he was just in the mood to state the obvious.

“O-Oh, really?” Bitsy blushed slightly, pulling lightly on the end of one of her pigtails, “Um, well, thanks! You do too.”

Ozzy was ready to make a quick joke and move on, when Bitsy decided to do some of her own stating of the obvious.

“And you have a really nice cologne, too,” She blurted, almost like she didn’t mean to.

She blushed more at the revelation, as Ozzy just perked an eyebrow.

“Well, of course I do,” Ozzy grinned, his ego slightly stoked by the comment, “It’s imported from Kezan. Infused with the essence of kaja’mite and everything.”

“Sounds expensive,” Bitsy remarked, to which Ozzy just shrugged nonchalantly.

“That’s the point, yeah.”

Bitsy perked an eyebrow, clearly not understanding. Ozzy wasn’t sure he’d even be able to explain it. It was just sort of the goblin way. If you had money, you did your best to make darn sure that everybody and their brother knew it. It’d never really occurred to him to question why this was. It’s just how it was. And so he went along with it. 

But he supposed Bitsy, with her odd little gnomish ways, would never really understand it. So he shrugged again, offering another simple explanation to sate her curiosity.

“Plus, y’know, it smells nice.”

“It does,” Bitsy agreed, perhaps a bit too quickly for her own liking, because she started to blush again.

Ozzy grinned, for some reason finding her red cheeks even more flattering than her words. After all, what was it humans always said? A picture was worth a thousand words? And she sure made a pretty picture, looking at him all shyly like that. It almost made him want to tease her more.

But before he could even say anything, they both heard that bell contraption jingle as the front door opened. Bitsy at once squealed in excitement.

“My first customer!” She beamed, before bounding off towards the front room.

Ozzy chuckled and followed suit, lingering back in the doorway as she tended to the customer. He watched her a moment, before his thoughts drifted back to their conversation from a few moments prior. He recalled it with a grin slowly spreading across his face. 

He hadn’t been all too fond of that cologne before, especially not for it’s rather hefty price tag.

But now? Well, now, it seemed he would be ordering more of it. Much to his own surprise, and amusement.


	7. Compatibility

Ozzy furrowed his brow, looking down at the state of the game so far. At least he had one thing going for him. Bitsy didn’t have any minions yet. Though, considering she must’ve drawn one last turn, he doubted this would last much longer.

If he had any chance of pulling them back to even footing, then he would have to draw something especially useful this turn.

Reaching to his deck, he drew the top card, and then frowned.

“Bad card?” Bitsy smiled, and Ozzy quickly shook his head.

“I don’t got any bad cards,” He muttered, his false bravado even unconvincing to his own ears.

He glanced down at his newly-drawn card again. Depth Charge. A great all-or-nothing strategy for getting rid of enemy minions, especially if he was fairly outmatched. Assuming it didn’t get immediately destroyed, then it would do 5 damage across the board to all minions. That did include itself, so it was more often than not a one trick pony. But what more could you want a from a card costing a single mana?

Unfortunately, though, it was completely useless to him right now. Even if he could more than afford it, having three mana to play with this turn, it wouldn’t do any good. She didn’t have any minions out, and she definitely wouldn’t place any if he had Depth Charge already out.

Ozzy gave a cursory glance at the other cards in his hand. Vilebrood Skitterer was two turns away, at the least. Multi-Shot was also useless right now, given the lack of minions. Gladiator’s Longbow would’ve been great, but he was four mana short. Frowning at his cards, he realized there was nothing in his hand he could use.

He had no choice, then. He’d have to use his heroic ability.

“Alright, I think I know what I’m gonna do,” He cleared his throat.

“You actually have something that you can do?” Bitsy perked an eyebrow skeptically.

Ozzy glanced at her, unamused, and reached for his mana tokens. He flipped over the first two, leaving him with one.

“I’ll activate my heroic ability, Steady Shot. It just does 2 damage to you directly.”

Bitsy nodded and took away 2 counters from her health pool. That left her with 23 health, and him with 24. Back into a 1 point lead.

“And the balance is restored,” He commented with a grin.

“Oh hush,” Bitsy rolled her eyes, “You won’t be able to play catchup forever, Ozzy.”

“Hmm, I don’t see it as playing catchup, so much as moving closer towards my inevitable victory,” He chuckled.

“You sound awfully confident for someone who seems to be having such a difficult time taking their turns,” Bitsy quipped.

“Who’s having a difficult time?” Ozzy grinned, “Me? You mean me? The guy in the lead?”

“By 1 point!” Bitsy laughed, clearly ignoring what she had just said at the end of her turn.

“By the time this game actually ends, it’s going to be a single point difference between the loser and the winner, and you know it,” Ozzy leaned forward on his elbow.

“Well, then I look forward to seeing which of us it will be with that 1 point remaining,” Bitsy smiled.

“It’ll be me, and you also know that,” Ozzy said as he gestured over towards her, “Anyway, I’m done my turn.”

“Interesting,” Bitsy said as she reached out towards her own deck, and drew her card. 

* * *

“Hey, you gonna buy somethin’ already or what, buddy?” Ozzy snapped, glancing impatiently at the tauren who had been stuck debating between two different longbows for the last hour.

The tauren glanced up at him and snorted in annoyance, a puff of steam emerging from his nose. Ozzy just stared at him, unfazed. Jeez, he really hated retail work.

“Hmph, perhaps I should take my business elsewhere,” The tauren quipped in annoyance, setting both bows down on the auction table.

“Yeah, yeah,” Ozzy called after the tauren, “Come back when you wanna actually spend some gold, eh?”

Once the tauren took his leave, Ozzy quickly pulled the portable horometer from his pocket, checking the time. He was relieved to see that it wasn’t as late as he expected. There would still be time to stop by Bitsy’s shop afterall, he realized with a smile.

He made his way to the back room of the Auction House, going over towards his little private locker. As he turned the dial to unlock the door, someone leaned up against the lockers beside him. Ozzy glanced over momentarily, seeing it was just Rizzo, and looked back at his locker.

“So, who’s the broad?” Rizzo asked, lighting up a cigar.

Ozzy opened the door of his locker, pausing to look over at Rizzo with a raised eyebrow.

“What broad?” He blinked.

“Y’know, the one makin’ you walk around grinnin’ like an idiot all the time,” Rizzo blew smoke from his cigar.

Ozzy looked over at Rizzo flatly, before deciding not to even dignify that with a response. He turned back to his locker, removing the shirt of his auctioneer uniform and tossing it inside.

“Oh, c’mon, Ozzy,” Fozie suddenly piped up from the other side of the room, looking up from his own locker, “Tell us about this mystery woman of yours!”

“What woman?” Ozzy shrugged emphatically as he pulled his other shirt from the locker, “There’s no woman. I don’t have a woman.”

“Sure, you don’t,” Fozie chuckled, and Ozzy just sighed tiredly.

“Jeez, you guys got it all wrong,” Ozzy grumbled, pausing to slip on his shirt, “Bitsy and I are just, y’know, business partners.”

“Ooh, Bitsy?” Rizzo waggled his eyebrows, pausing to grin at Fozie, “So it’s a woman after all.”

“She cute?” Fozie asked, “Cause, y’know, if she is, then she’s just in it for the money.”

Ozzy glanced at him slightly, not very amused by their interrogation.

“Well, yeah,” He scoffed, promptly shutting his locker, “That’s sorta what businesses are for, y’know?”

“What kinda business?” Rizzo pried, as Fozie approached and leaned on his shoulder.

“Y’know, engineering stuff,” Ozzy shrugged, spinning the lock on the door so it reset.

“Wait, wait,” Fozie leaned forward slightly, eyebrow perked, “Don’t tell me this business is that one that just opened a few weeks back…”

Ozzy nodded, watching Fozie furrow his brow in confusion.

“But I’ve seen that place,” He frowned, “And the owner was definitely… uh, not a goblin.”

“Ooh, Ozzy’s branchin’ out, huh?” Rizzo teased, reaching over and elbowing Ozzy roughly in the rib, “So what is she, then? Orc? Troll? Oh, don’t tell me if some kinda elf---”

“Gnome,” Fozie glanced at him, suppressing a smirk.

“Gnome, huh?” Rizzo grinned, “Well, there’s somethin’ you don’t see everyday. A goblin and a gnome, together? Sure, sure, that could work...”

Rizzo and Fozie exchanged knowing glances for a moment, and then both cracked up laughing. Like it was the funniest thing they’d ever heard before. Ozzy furrowed his brow, unable to determine why their laughter stung him slightly.

“Hey, I said it ain’t like that,” He grumbled, his words overshadowed by their laughter.

Huffing in frustration, he just shook his head in annoyance and moved past them, exiting the back room. When he stepped outside of the Auction House, the cool breeze of the evening swept in from the desert. It was a little chilly, and it calmed his temper, which had been rising steadily throughout the conversation. But after he cooled down, he sighed tiredly.

Reaching into his coat pocket, Ozzy pulled out his portable horometer, checking the hour once again. Still plenty of time to visit the shop, he noted, and then began to make his way down the road.

As he strolled along on the way to the shop, however, his thoughts couldn’t detangle from the prior conversation at the Auction House. He supposed, in the grand scheme of things, he had been in a better mood than usual lately. That much was true. But he would hardly attribute that entirely to Bitsy. He did have his own life, after all.

But when he tried to think of a reason that would correspond with his good mood of-late, he couldn’t come up with any other excuses. And he had to, reluctantly, admit that his association with Bitsy was the only factor that had really changed about his day-to-day life. It was actually almost depressing to acknowledge. Was his life really that boring without her? And, wait, did that mean being around Bitsy was the most exciting thing in his life, then? 

Ozzy’s face flushed slightly at that thought. No, no, he had a life that was plenty interesting. With or without her. But, of course, taken out of context, he could definitely see why they’d be mistaken for a couple. Not that they were, nor had any intentions to be. At least, not as far as he was concerned. Sure, she was cute and all. Y’know, for a gnome. But that was exactly the problem. She was a gnome, and he was a goblin. They were just way too different.

...On the other hand, though, maybe they actually weren’t that different at all? 

When he thought about it, they probably had more similarities than differences, though there was certainly a good mix of both. Like the fact that they were both engineers, and alchemists. Although she was probably more skilled than him at both. They also both lived in Gadgetzan, and presumably had no intentions to leave. But, then, that was kind of a given. Actually, did where you lived even count as a similarity? Probably not. 

The fact that they were both short was also a granted that shouldn’t be counted. Even if Ozzy did consider himself fairly tall, for a goblin. Others might disagree. He could always just pay them to think otherwise, though.

And all that wasn’t even considering how well they got along. Which was definitely odd, as far as gnomes and goblins went. A couple times, back when they were both studying under Pestleplugg, he’d had the off-hand thought that maybe alchemy wasn’t the only chemistry between them. Of course, nothing ever came of it. At least, as far as he knew. Though technically, they’d already kissed back when---

Ozzy stopped himself before he could finish the thought, shaking his head quickly. He didn’t even want to remember that night, and he had no intention to go down that mental path. At least, not any further than he already inadvertently had. It was a slippery slope. And the very last thing he wanted to do was let himself believe that Rizzo and Fozie were right about him and Bitsy. 

Even if they were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ozzy: What if we kissed... haha, jk... unless?


	8. Butterflies

Bitsy looked at the card in her hand, a pleasant smile forming on her pink lips. Across the table, Ozzy spotted this and sighed audibly.

Finally, she had drawn a minion. Voodoo Doctor. For the cost of only a single mana, of which she now had four, she could not only summon a minion but one that would recover two of her health to boot. Not only would it put her back in the lead, but then she’d be able to widen the gap with the rest of her turn.

And regarding the rest of her turn, she paused to eye the other cards in her hand. Two copies of Sap, and no use for either right now, and a Tomb Pillager, who would make a good play for next turn. And then there was Hallucination. Like Voodoo Doctor, it would cost only a single mana, which would leave her with two available.

Bitsy paused to consider what she could do with those final two mana, when she recalled her Wicked Dagger. It was already on its last use, so she could simply refresh that after attacking with it.

All in all, her plan was set, and her eyes flicked up towards Ozzy, the smile lingering on her lips.

“...This is gonna be a whole thing, isn’t it?” Ozzy looked at her flatly, and she nodded happily in response, her pink pigtails bobbing, “Ah, perfect…”

Bitsy chuckled at his dismay and began the procession she had planned in advance. First she flipped one of her mana tokens, setting Voodoo Doctor onto the field.

“Voodoo Doctor has 2 attack and 1 health,” She explained quickly.

“Not very sturdy, eh?” Ozzy quipped.

“Voodoo Doctor also has a Battlecry effect, which activates when played. I may target any minion or player and restore 2 health,” She continued, “I choose myself, of course.”

Ozzy frowned again, watching her return 2 health counters to the pool.

“My health count returns to 25,” Bitsy informed him, before reaching over and flipping her second mana crystal, “Next I will play this spell, Hallucination.”

“What’s that do again?” Ozzy perked an eyebrow, leaning forward to examine it.

“It allows me to draw the three top cards from your deck,” Bitsy smiled merrily, “And I get to keep one of them. The other two are returned to you, and your deck is shuffled thereafter.”

“Ah,” Ozzy nodded, sitting back and pushing his deck towards her, “Make it quick, then.”

Bitsy nodded, drawing the top three cards from his deck. Then she peered down at them curiously. 

The first card was a Dwarven Sharpshooter minion, costing only one mana. It wasn’t very strong itself, having only 1 attack but a fair 3 health. The real appeal was its ability allowing the user to target minions with their heroic ability. That sounded like trouble, considering his heroic ability did direct damage. It was useless to Bitsy herself, but it might’ve been worth taking just to ensure he didn’t get it.

The second card was a Timber Wolf minion, which also cost a single mana. It was even weaker than the Dwarven Sharpshooter, having both 1 attack and 1 health. But it did have a decent ability, to grant an additional attack point to all other Beasts the user controlled. Alas, she didn’t use Beasts in her deck, and it was useless to her as well.

The third card was an Eaglehorn Bow weapon, which cost all of three mana. It wasn’t bad for the price, dealing 3 damage and having 2 durability. The ability associated with it wasn’t terrible either, gaining an additional durability point each time a friendly Secret was revealed. She didn’t use many Secrets, but she did like to use weapons.

“I’ll take this one,” Bitsy decided, setting the Eaglehorn Bow into her hand.

Then she passed the other two cards back to Ozzy, who quickly shuffled his deck and returned it to its proper place beside him.

“So you done yet?” He glanced up at her.

“Not yet,” She chuckled, tapping her Wicked Dagger card, “I’m going to attack you for 1 damage.”

“That’s the last durability on it, right?” He asked with a perked brow as he moved a health token away from his pool.

“Yes, that’s correct,” Bitsy nodded, “However…”

She reached over and flipped her last two mana tokens, neatly straightening her Wicked Dagger card in its place.

“I will pay my last two mana to activate my heroic ability once more, creating a brand new Wicked Dagger.”

“Huh,” Ozzy blinked at her for a moment, “Good turn.”

“Thanks,” Bitsy smiled back at him, “Oh, and I’m finished it, too!”

“About time,” Ozzy grinned, reaching for his newly-shuffled deck.

* * *

Bitsy sat at the front counter, kicking her legs happily over the edge of her chair, as her arms were elbow-deep into the chest cavity of a mechanical gorilla. How in the world had the original owner managed to get so much sand inside of the inner workings? She knew Tanaris was sandy, but this was ridiculous!

Bitsy bit her lip, furrowing her brow in concentration as she pressed her arclight spanner into one of the central gear circuits. She leaned her full body weight onto the breadth of the arclight spanner, just barely managing to get the gear to budge from its rusted slot. Giving a quick sigh of exertion, she sat back and wiped her arm against her sweaty forehead, leaving a streak of grease across her face.

“Oh, not again...” She huffed, setting her arclight spanner down on the counter.

After wiping her face on the nearby rag she kept for just these instances, she stole a glance up towards the horometer on the wall. It was getting pretty late, she noted. Soon it would be closing time. She frowned as she realized that, setting the rag back onto the counter.

She had been looking forward to seeing Ozzy today. But the evening had already long since faded into night, and she’d still seen no sign of him. This made her rather uneasy. He usually stopped by on his way home from the Auction House. At least for a few moments, just to check in. That he didn’t come at all made her… worried.

She stole one more glance at the horometer before snatching up her arclight spanner. She tried to throw her thoughts back into the repair work. But they continuously drifted back towards Ozzy. It wasn’t like he promised to stop by, after all. Even if he did pretty much every day. That didn’t mean it actually was every day. She was sure that if she stopped to think about it, she’d recall the last time he didn’t come to see her, at least once.

But when she tried to remember such a day, she couldn’t recall a single one. It seemed to her like he’d made a point of coming to visit her every day since the store had opened. If not in the evening after his work at the Auction House, then in the morning on his way there. Bitsy frowned, only growing more concerned, and glanced up to the horometer again.

Only a minute had passed since her last look, the horometer’s numerical face indicated. Bitsy groaned and shook her head, trying to dismiss the worries from her head. She was sure he was just busy.

Busy with something else, he logic told her.

Busy with someone else, her emotions told her.

Bitsy’s cheeks instantly flushed red at the errant jealous thought, and she shook her head again. Ozzy had the full right to choose to accompany other people, she silently chided herself. It wasn’t as though she had any sort of official claim to his attention or company, after all.

...But maybe she wanted such a claim?

Bitsy blushed more and at once scolded herself for the inappropriate thoughts that had somehow managed to seep through her well-constructed mental filters. Ozzy was her business partner. And a goblin. And quite rude. So what if he was handsome in the right light? Even the most hideous and malformed faced could look attractive in the right light---that being, none. And who cared that his cologne smelled rather nice? Or that he could be surprisingly sweet when he felt like it? Or that he made butterflies swell in her stomach every time he flashed that charming grin of his?

“No, no, no,” Bitsy huffed, setting down her arclight spanner between her knees.

Then she rubbed her face, lightly slapping her cheeks until she felt the heat fade. Taking a deep, steadying breath, she picked her arclight spanner back up and moved forward to return to her work. And no sooner had she regained her composure, than who should walk in the door? Bitsy glanced up, hearing her doorbell chime.

“Oh, man, you should hear about the day I had,” Ozzy sighed, leaning against the counter tiredly.

Bitsy blinked at him for a moment, before her pink brow knitted in a sudden---and rather unexpected---spike of annoyance. Annoyance directed towards one specific individual. The very one who was leaning his arm against the front of the counter before her, in fact. 

It surprised her, frankly. She had expected she would be relieved to know he was safe, and her worries were for naught. But she didn’t actually feel relieved at all. In fact, she felt the opposite. She couldn’t explain the exact source of her newfound irritation. She only knew that she was suddenly, and intensely, very cross with that goblin.

“I’m not interested,” Bitsy responded shortly, interrupting him mid-sentence as he had begun to recount his story.

“Eh?” Ozzy perked an eyebrow, “You sure? It’s kinda crazy.”

“I think I have enough craziness around here already, thanks,” She grumbled, glancing aside grumpily.

Ozzy looked at her curiously and went to say something, but stopped short in surprise when she reached forward and pushed his arm from the edge of the counter with the tip of her arclight spanner. If her annoyance hadn’t been obvious to him before, then it certainly was now.

“...You have a bad day or something?” He asked slowly.

Cautiously. Like he was trying to avoid a verbal landmine. 

“Oh, quite the opposite, actually,” Bitsy scoffed, crossing her arms, “I actually had a very pleasant day today.”

“Well, then why’re you---”

“Especially considering you weren’t a part of it in the slightest,” Bitsy added, speaking over him.

Ozzy blinked for a moment, and she could practically see the gears turning in his head. Then a look of recognition passed his face, and both his black eyebrows rose in surprise. 

“Ohhhh,” He nodded, “I get it, I get it…”

Bitsy scowled at him, glancing aside. She wished he’d fill her in, then. Because she had no clue what she was feeling at that moment. Or why.

Ozzy seemed to consider it for a moment, before leaning his arm back on the counter. Bitsy narrowed her eyes at him, taking the gesture as a challenge of sorts. But before she could give him what was surely going to be a scathing remark, an amused grin formed on his lips. She froze, feeling the butterflies begin to flutter in her stomach in response.

“You missed me that much, eh, Shortguard?” He chuckled, sounding thoroughly pleased with himself, “Can’t even go a day without me around, or you get yourself all worked up?”

Bitsy blushed angrily, quickly looking at him in offense.

“Of course not,” She protested, though he didn’t appear to be buying it.

“Mmhm?” Ozzy perked an eyebrow, “So then what’s the real reason you’re lookin’ at me like a housewife whose husband stayed out too late?”

Bitsy blushed even more, feeling her ears heat up.

“That’s not… not at all…!” She stammered, giving a frustrated huff before adding, “You are entirely misreading this situation, Mister Fizzlefuse!”

“Oh, I am, huh?” Ozzy smirked, clearly amused by her flustered response, “Then why don’t you spell it out for me, eh?”

“Ozmyveld...” Bitsy hissed through clenched teeth, being too ruffled to come up with a better response.

“Yes, Lizbit?” Ozzy smiled right back at her, absolutely reveling in the situation by this point.

Bitsy scowled at his usage of her full name, finding it only made her cheeks grow warmer. She was quickly reaching the point of being too embarrassed to string together fully coherent thoughts. It took considerable effort for her to calm herself down, especially with him leaning on the counter in front of her, watching her so closely. So intensely. But once she managed to wrestle a hold over her composition, she gave a light shrug.

“...I was just… concerned for you… your safety, rather,” She said slowly, selecting her words carefully, “Your absence was… unexpected.”

At this surprisingly earnest response, Ozzy’s teasing smile faded. He glanced aside, clearing his throat, and paused to rub his neck.

“Well, jeez,” He muttered, flashing her an apologetic smile, “Didn’t mean to make you worry or nothin’ but I got stuck at work late. Sorry...”

Bitsy blinked, feeling her irritation melt away almost instantaneously. It was gone just as quickly as it arose, and just as confusingly. And all it took was his apology? Bitsy couldn’t help furrowing her brow. Oh, why did emotions have to be so darn confusing?

“It’s alright,” She replied quietly, almost feeling embarrassed due to her previous rancor.

“I’ll tell ya what. From now on, whenever I’m gonna be workin’ late, I’ll make sure to send you some kinda notice about it,” Ozzy cleared his throat, slowly starting to smirk again, “That way you don’t get stuck waitin’ up on me again, alright?”

Bitsy blushed at the implication behind his words but nodded all the same. She was appreciative of the gesture, even if he had to tease her to do it. 

Besides, she was pretty sure that, deep down, she rather enjoyed his teasing. At least, if the butterflies were anything to go by.


	9. Gently

Ozzy drew his card, really hoping for a minion. He’d prefer something a little more useful than Depth Charge, and more affordable than Vilebrood Skitterer. And, in a pleasant turn of events, his new card was indeed a minion. Spirit of the Lynx.

Interesting, he thought to himself. Spirit of the Lynx was a three cost minion with no attack to show for it. But it did have 3 health, as well as some useful abilities. The first of which was its ability to Stealth for a turn, immune to targeted spells and attacks. But the main attraction was its other ability, which added an additional 1 attack and 1 health to any Beast minion he played. And considering his deck was full of them, it would be very useful.

Ozzy paused, glancing at the rest of his cards. Vilebrood Skitterer was a Beast, and he could play it next turn. Meaning if he played Spirit of the Lynx this turn, he’d get a stronger minion to work with. At least, if all went to plan. It wasn’t likely she would do anything to the Spirit of the Lynx this turn, thanks to the Stealth. It was probably a safe bet. Either way, he wouldn’t win by playing it too cautiously.

“Having trouble again?” Bitsy smiled.

“Nah, just decidin’ what I wanna do,” Ozzy said as he reached over to his mana tokens.

He flipped over three of them, leaving one remaining, and then set Spirit of the Lynx onto the table.

“It has no attack?” Bitsy perked an eyebrow, glancing down at the card.

“Nope,” Ozzy shrugged nonchalantly.

Bitsy hummed curiously.

“So it has an effect?” She asked.

“Yup,” Ozzy nodded.

“Care to explain?”

“Well, it has Stealth for the rest of this round, first off,” Ozzy explained, leaning forward in his seat a little, “And it also gives a point of attack and health to any Beast I play.”

“Sounds useful,” Bitsy commented, glancing at the card, “That must’ve been a rather difficult card to obtain.”

“Yeah, it’s a rare print,” Ozzy nodded, unable to resist bragging slightly, “Anyway, I’ll end my turn with that.”

“Nothing else you can do, hm?” Bitsy smiled, looking briefly towards his one unused mana.

“Oh I never said that,” Ozzy grinned, “I’m just playing the long game.”

“You mean you’re actually planning your moves in advance?” Bitsy chuckled, reaching towards her own deck, “And here I thought you were simply winging it as you went along.”

“Well, I mean,” Ozzy shrugged, “There’s always a bit of flyin’ by the seat of your pants early in the game, eh?”

“Are we still so early?” Bitsy perked a pink eyebrow, “I’d say we’re in the mid-game by this point.”

Ozzy chuckled and leaned onto the table.

“Bitsy, you of all people know I ain’t exactly the type to think things through before I act,” He grinned, “That I’m even taking any time to consider my turns at all should worry you.”

“What would I be worried about?” Bitsy smiled, “If anything, I’m rather proud of you. It shows you’re putting forth enough of an effort to actually be called one, for once.”

“Jeez, thanks,” Ozzy chuckled, “But yeah, I ain’t intendin’ to lose, y’know. Got a lot riding on this game, after all.”

Bitsy perked an eyebrow curiously.

“You know I’ll give you an answer regardless of whether you win or not, right?” She asked, hoping he didn’t have the wrong idea.

“Yeah, I know,” Ozzy nodded, his expression becoming rather serious, “But I’m really banking on a win here.”

“...Why?” She asked slowly.

“So I get the answer I want.”

Bitsy furrowed her brow, feeling her heart drop, and went to respond, but Ozzy continued before she could say anything.

“Anyway, take your turn already, Shortguard,” He said quickly, clearing his throat as his face flushed slightly, “I wanna win already.”

Bitsy frowned, but reached towards her deck all the same.

* * *

Ozzy sighed, leaning on his elbows over the counter, beside where Bitsy was sitting with the same bored expression as his.

“Where is everyone?” She asked with a frown.

“I dunno,” He shrugged, glancing at the door and trying to will a customer through it.

When it, unsurprisingly, didn’t work, he sighed and looked over at Bitsy beside him.

“It’s been like this all week, you said?” He perked an eyebrow, and she nodded in response, “Huh, that ain’t good. If this keeps up, we’re definitely gonna be in the red for the month.”

“But what can we do?” Bitsy asked, blinking at him.

Ozzy frowned, noting how helpless and distraught she seemed. He almost had half a mind to just buy everything in the shop himself. Almost. He wasn’t that keen on spending that much money, especially considering the gesture would probably offend her as an engineer. At least, he knew it’d offend him.

He supposed he could just give her the money directly. But that probably would have about the same result. Besides, it was only a quick fix. What she needed was an actual solution. Something to draw people back into the shop. But what?

“You need some kinda attraction,” He said aloud, glancing at her again, “Something to really put this place on the map.”

“Such as?”

“Uhh…” Ozzy faltered, “Still workin’ on that part.”

Bitsy sighed, dropping her head forward against the counter.

“...I don’t want to go back to the factory…” She mumbled, her words muffled by the countertop.

Ozzy frowned again, and quickly shook his head.

“Nah, don’t worry,” He reassured her, patting her shoulder, “I won’t let that happen.”

Bitsy turned her head to the side to look up at him, her blue eyes shining with a hopeful glimmer. Something about seeing her look at him like that was overwhelmingly cute, he felt. Ozzy blushed and glanced aside, clearing his throat.

“Uh, so, anyway,” He mumbled, trying to speak just to clear the silence, “What kinda niche will this place fill? That’s what we gotta figure out.”

“Hmm, well...” Bitsy lifted her head, setting her hand onto her chin, “I like building animals. Like battle chickens and such. Maybe a robotic pet store?”

“Nah,” Ozzy shook his head, “Those aren’t the kinda things that get people to come back again. And, unlike living animals, they don’t need any additional stuff you can sell ‘em, either.”

“Oh, that’s a good point,” Bitsy nodded, “But isn’t that the case for most things engineers make?”

Ozzy furrowed his brow, thinking about it. She did have a point, but he knew there had to be something that would suit their needs.

And then it hit him.

“I got it,” He looked over at Bitsy with a grin.

She looked at him curiously.

“Guns.”

At this, her brow furrowed.

“Huh? How would that---”

“Think about it,” Ozzy shrugged, “You can sell them the guns, plus the scopes and the ammo. Not to mention do repairs and cleanings.”

He paused to gesture over towards the half-constructed mechanical cat on the edge of the counter.

“Plus I think we have our niche if we go that way.”

“That being…?” Bitsy perked an eyebrow, glancing at the cat.

“Hunters,” Ozzy grinned.

“Ooh, I get it…” Bitsy’s pink eyebrows rose, “Sell them everything they need in one place.”

Ozzy nodded back quickly. Bitsy smiled, but then it dropped.

“Oh, but…” She frowned, “I don’t know how to make guns.”

“Ah, that’s the easy part,” Ozzy waved a hand dismissively, “I can teach you everything you need to know.”

“Really?” Bitsy looked over at him, expression becoming hopeful once more.

“Y-Yeah,” Ozzy cleared his throat, blushing again slightly, “Uh, here. I can just show you right now, even. It’s a lot simpler than it seems. Lemme just find the stuff I need…”

It was easy to find all of the materials he needed around the shop. It was an engineering shop, after all. She had all the necessary tools on hand, too, and so it didn’t take long for him to set up a little makeshift workstation to build at. Bitsy perked an eyebrow curiously, leaning over his shoulder as he set the various materials out on the counter.

“Alright, c’mere,” Ozzy said as he gestured towards the counter.

Bitsy hesitantly moved over, seeming particularly unsure of herself. She glanced at the various materials he’d laid out. A couple handfuls of copper bolts, a box of assorted bronze tubes, and heavy wooden stock. There were also a few green gemstones, which were, of course, for decoration afterwards.

“Relax, relax,” Ozzy grinned, “It ain’t gonna explode, even if you do it wrong. Not yet, anyway.”

Bitsy furrowed her brow, glancing over at him.

“Well that makes me feel so much better,” She muttered, looking down at the counter again.

“Ah, don’t worry,” He chuckled, patting her shoulder, “I’ll make sure you don’t screw it up so badly, eh? Alright?”

“Fine,” Bitsy nodded tensely.

“Okay, so first, you wanna measure the stock…”

Ozzy began to guide her step-by-step through the building process. Her movements were slow and guarded, at first. But with enough encouragement, she gradually started to grow bolder. Her anxiety turned to excitement as everything started to come together, and Ozzy couldn’t help sharing in that excitement.

He took a special enjoyment out of the construction of firearms. It was an art, in his eyes. It wasn’t just about the destruction one could eventually make out of it. True, that was certainly an enjoyable part, but it was just half of the equation. For him, it was just as much about the construction part of it, the creation of something so beautiful yet so dangerous.

“I can’t get the cartridge inside,” Bitsy glanced up at him uncertainly, still attempting to push the empty magazine into place.

“Don’t force it, or you could jam the mechanism,” Ozzy said quickly, setting his hand over hers, “You gotta treat it like a lady.”

Bitsy perked an eyebrow as Ozzy guided her hand through the correct way of sliding the magazine into the bullet chamber.

“...Is that how you treat a lady?” Bitsy asked with an amused smirk.

“Yeah, y’know,” He cleared his throat, hastily removing his hand from atop hers, “I mean, uh, just that… you gotta do it, um… gently?”

Bitsy hummed, glancing back down at the gun. Ozzy, meanwhile, cleared his throat again and looked away with a slight blush.

“You sure seem to know a lot about this,” She commented after a moment, “You must have a lot of experience.”

“H-Huh?” Ozzy looked back at her quickly, wide-eyed, “Err, I mean, I’ve been with a few girls, yeah, but I dunno if I’d say—”

“Huh?” Bitsy looked up at him in confusion.

“Huh?” Ozzy repeated, blinking back at her, “I, er… what?”

“What are you talking about?” Bitsy furrowed her brow, “I was saying you must be experienced with building firearms.”

“....Oh,” Ozzy mumbled uncomfortably, looking away and coughing.

Bitsy just perked a pink eyebrow at his reaction.

“Wait, what exactly did you think I was---”

“Nothing, nothing,” Ozzy cut her off quickly, “A-Anyway, we should set up the trigger mechanism now!”

Bitsy blinked in surprise at his sudden excitement but nodded in response, another amused smile gradually forming on her lips.


	10. The Robbery

Bitsy glanced over at Ozzy as she drew her card, more concerned with him at that moment than the game. His previous statement was worrying. Did he believe that her answer would depend upon whether or not he won? That was gut wrenching to consider.

When she had first proposed this game, she had meant just what she’d said. She needed some time to consider it. To weigh her options and make a conscious decision, not one entirely swayed by her emotions of that moment. She had absolutely no intentions to simply leave it up to fate. 

Bitsy knew as well as anyone that Hearthstone was more a game of chance than pure strategy. Such was the nature of all card games, where the luck of the draw would ultimately determine the eventual outcome.

“Hey, Bitsy, I know I’m unbearably handsome, and it must be very difficult to look away from me,” Ozzy spoke up with a grin, “But don’t you think you should probably at least look at what you just drew?”

“Hm? Oh,” Bitsy blinked, broken away from her thoughts, “Right…”

She frowned and looked down at the card in her hand. Counterfeit Coin. It essentially worked the same as the actual coin. Useful, she supposed. But she admittedly wasn’t feeling much of a drive to focus on the game any longer.

“Jeez, bad card, eh?” Ozzy furrowed his brow, “You look like it just killed your dog.”

“Huh?” Bitsy rose her eyebrows, glancing up, “Oh, no, it’s just…”

She pursed her lips, unsure what to say. Sighing silently, she set the Counterfeit Coin card at the back of her hand.

And then a thought occurred to her.

If Ozzy was going to give his all to the game, then so should she. It would be unfair to him otherwise. Even if he believed the outcome would decide her decision, she knew it wasn’t true. So why not just do her best?

Bitsy glanced down at the cards in her hand with a renewed interest. She had five mana to work with this turn, and plenty she could afford. She considered using Sap on his new minion, the Spirit of the Lynx. But then she remembered it had Stealth, and she couldn’t target it.

Deciding to just stick to her prior plan, she quickly turned over four of her mana counters. Ozzy perked an eyebrow, leaning forward in his seat curiously. Bitsy smiled and set her Tomb Pillager neatly onto the table, across from his own minion.

“Tomb Pillager has 5 attack and 4 health,” She explained.

Ozzy whistled in response.

“Pretty strong,” He nodded, “Good thing it can’t attack yet, eh?”

“Tomb Pillager also has a Deathrattle ability,” She added, “Wherein in grants me a coin to use.”

“Hmm, well then,” Ozzy grinned, “Seems like things just got interesting.”

“Oh, and I’ll also attack you with my Wicked Dagger, of course,” Bitsy said as she gestured to the dagger, “One use remains on it.”

“Gotcha,” Ozzy said as he moved a single health counter away from the pool, leaving 21 behind, “That all for this turn?”

Bitsy nodded quickly, and Ozzy moved to start his own turn.

* * *

Bitsy smiled to herself as she sat at the counter, hands busily working. Ever since they’d added guns to the store’s stock a few weeks ago, the place had been packed with customers. Hunters on their way to and fro, or even just engineering students hoping to study the mechanisms. It was more of a response than she could’ve hoped for, and she was overjoyed.

But at the same time, as much as the uptick in business had been good for her bottom line, it wasn’t exactly easy to keep up with. Being that she was the only one manning the shop, that meant she had to handle the influx of customers all by herself. Sometimes a dozen at a time! It was wonderful for the store, but it sure was exhausting.

Fortunately, it seemed today would be one of the now-quite-rare slower days. Business did usually dip in the midweek, especially in the afternoons when everyone was busy with their work. That was when she got a bit of free time to relax, before the evening rush bustled in.

And over the past couple weeks, she had taken to working a little project during this free spot of time. The project which she currently was in the midst of working on.

Smiling to herself, Bitsy sat back to admire her progress thus far. The gun was really coming together, she thought. A few more weeks of work, and it would be ready to give to Ozzy.

He didn’t know she’d been working on that gun in particular, which she carefully made sure he never saw. It was going to be a gift for him, after all. As thanks for teaching her. She knew it probably wouldn’t mean very much to him, likely not even being functional given her lack of overall skill. But she hoped the thought would be enough.

Then again, knowing the materialistic goblins, it probably wouldn’t be. They did tend to place value onto something based upon its monetary worth. 

Though Ozzy did seem different in this regard. 

From what she had seen, he didn’t seem to care about money nearly half as much as other goblins did. Of course, he still acted as though money was the most important thing to him, as one would expect of a goblin, but her doubts were mounting after all that she had seen. Like him willingly paying for and funding her store, for example. At this point, she suspected that either money mattered a lot less to him than he let on, or he cared for her a lot more.

Blushing at the thought, she dismissed it quickly and returned to her work. 

After a short while, when she had grown thoroughly engrossed in her work, the doorbell suddenly jingled. Bitsy looked up in surprise, seeing a goblin enter, his hands dug deep into his pockets. She glanced at the horometer on the wall, noting that it was still quite some time until the evening rush. Oh well, she thought, and pushed the gun aside.

“Can I help you?” She asked the goblin, betting he would surely speak Common.

The goblin just approached one of the shelves, examining a few different items on display. Bitsy frowned, wondering if he didn’t understand what she had said. She silently cursed herself for never bothering to learn even a passing phrase in the Goblin language.

The goblin finally stole a glance up in her direction, and she smiled at him patiently, unsure what else to do. His yellowed eyes briefly flicked over towards the half-constructed gun. On instinct, Bitsy set a hand over it.

“Oh, sorry,” She said quickly as she picked up the gun and moved it over behind the counter, “That one isn’t for sale.”

Again the goblin said nothing, looking back towards the shelf. Bitsy watched him curiously for a moment, wondering how she would be able to effectively communicate with the customer. Oh, where was Ozzy when she needed him?

The goblin continued to just look at the various items on the selves, and Bitsy began to wonder if his intention was to shoplift something. But his hands never once left his pockets. She chided herself for suspecting him so quickly. Just because he was a goblin didn’t mean he was a thief, after all. Maybe he was just going to browse the whole time. Or maybe he was just bored and looking around? 

Shrugging to herself slightly, Bitsy reached below the counter and picked up the half-built gun. Figuring the goblin would approach her when he was ready, she began to work on the gun again.

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed the goblin look over at her. Then he approached the counter, something shiny in his hand. He must’ve decided after all, she thought.

“Have you decided what you want?” She asked, not looking up as she screwed in a copper bolt.

“Yes,” The goblin answered taciturnly.

Bitsy frowned upon realizing he could fully understand her this whole time, and was just being rude by not responding. But rude as he was, he was still a customer, and she was going to be polite.

“Well, then...” Bitsy paused a moment to finish turning the last bolt, before setting her arclight spanner down on the counter beside her, “...What can I get for you, sir?”

“Your money.”

Bitsy quickly looked up towards the goblin and her eyes went wide. The barrel of a shiny gun was pointed directly in front of her nose. The goblin on the other side held it steadily, pressing the nozzle against the flesh between her eyes. Before she could even move, the robber cocked the gun in his hand. A silent threat. Bitsy gulped nervously, slowly raising her hands into the air beside her.

“Your money,” The goblin repeated, tossing an empty burlap sack towards the till.

Bitsy held her breath nervously, beginning to tremble. Then she slowly moved towards the till, opening it. Her blue eyes flicked between the till and the robber, before hastily gathering the money into the sack. The goblin watched her impatiently as she hurried along, keeping the gun trained on her head.

When she was finished putting her very last copper coin into the sack, she held it over towards the robber with a trembling hand. He hastily snatched it from her and began to back towards the exit. Once his back pressed to the door, he finally lowered the gun and turned, sprinting off into the city.

Bitsy stood there for several minutes after he was gone, stricken still like a statue from shock. When her trance finally broke, she hastily made her way over to the front door. Hands still shaking, she quickly adjusted the sign in the front window, marking the shop as closed. Then she locked the front door and backed away, like it was rigged to blow. Leaning her back against the nearby wall, the weight of the situation hit her full force, and she sank down to the floor.

Over the next few hours, she watched from the floor as the shadows of potential customers came and went. Part of her knew she needed their patronage, now more than ever. But another part of her told her the best---and only---course of action was to sit there in the dark, on the floor, and stay silent. In truth, some illogical part of her was terrified that the robber might return. Come back to finish the job. She swallowed hard at the thought. 

Then, as if to answer her nightmares, a rustling sound came from the door. Bitsy felt her stomach drop, and she instinctively pressed herself further back against the wall. The doorknob rattled, and then it opened. She bit her lip, eyes widening as the silhouette of a goblin appeared in the open doorway.

Then the lights flicked on, with a familiar buzz.

Ozzy looked at Bitsy, cowering in the corner, and furrowed his brow in confusion.

“Bitsy? Uh, what’re you doin’ down there?” He cocked his head to the side, “And why was the door locked? Did you close early or som---”

Bitsy scrambled up from the floor, flinging her arms desperately around Ozzy like he was a life preserver. Or a bulletproof shield. He was bewildered at first, slowly going to pat her on the back uncomfortably. After a moment, Bitsy came to her senses and hastily released him, blushing slightly. Ozzy just looked at her in even more confusion than before.

It was difficult to recount for him exactly what had happened, but she did her best. She may or may not have started to tear up a few times. But Ozzy was patient and never rushed her or was particularly demanding. Once he’d gotten enough information to piece together the whole scenario, he frowned.

“...But you’re alright?” He asked first, when she finally finished, “Right?”

Bitsy nodded, sniffling slightly.

“Yes, but all the money is gone from the till,” She mumbled, glancing over towards the counter.

“But you’re still okay,” Ozzy concluded, “So it’s fine.”

Bitsy perked an eyebrow, surprised by his underreaction. She knew he wasn’t as obsessed with money as other goblins, but he didn’t really even seem to care that the money was gone. He was much more concerned about her safety. Bitsy would’ve been flattered, if she didn’t feel so terrible overall.

“Well, that settles it, then,” Ozzy cleared his throat suddenly, crossing his arms.

“Huh?” Bitsy blinked at him, “What do you mean?”

“I’m quittin’ the Auction House,” He announced, very matter-of-factly.

Bitsy furrowed her brow, not quite following how he’d managed to jump to such a drastic leap.

“Oh, you don’t have to---” She started.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” He shrugged, cutting her off, “But I wanna.”

He moved over towards the counter, expression rather serious.

“I wanna make sure I’m here next time,” He mumbled, moving over towards the till to examine it.

“So you can protect the money?” She asked quietly, glancing at the till briefly.

Ozzy looked up at her.

“No,” He said just as quietly, not elaborating further.

Then he went back to examining the till, and Bitsy was glad he did. That way, he wouldn’t see just how much she was blushing.


	11. Worried

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy halfway point, everyone!
> 
> Also, this chapter wasn't beta'd so there may be typos!

Ozzy drew his card for the turn, perking an eyebrow. Another minion. Stonetusk Boar. A particularly handy card, that one. It only cost a single mana, and similarly only had 1 attack and defense. But the part that made it worthwhile was its ability. It had Charge, meaning it could attack directly. And the fact that it was a Beast? Well, that only made it better.

Ozzy glanced over at his Spirit of the Lynx. Since Stonetusk Boar was a Beast, he could play it to gain the additional 1 attack and 1 health. Then he could attack directly. Or, he could stick to his previous plan and play Vilebrood Skitterer. He wouldn’t be able to do any damage this turn, though, and now that the Stealth was over on Spirit of the Lynx, she could simply destroy it on her next turn.

“Oh, right, the Stealth is over now on Spirit of the Lynx,” He reminded her, before going back to thinking.

Bitsy nodded in acknowledgement, watching and waiting curiously for his turn to unfold.

Judging by the fact that he had five mana to work with this turn, he could take two paths. The first would be to simply play Vilebrood Skitterer and hope for the best. The second would be to use Stonetusk Boar and deal some direct damage. But what to do with the four remaining mana?

Looking through his hand, Ozzy stopped on the Multi-Shot spell. It cost four mana, which he had just enough to deal with. And Bitsy did have two minions on the field. Multi-Shot could destroy the Voodoo Doctor, though the Tomb Pillager could survive with 1 health left. All in all, that would probably be the better move.

“Are you going to be this slow to act every turn?” Bitsy furrowed her brow.

“Hey, you’re lucky I’m already done thinking,” He quipped.

Then he moved over towards his mana pool, flipping over four of his tokens. Bitsy perked an eyebrow, watching curiously as he set Multi-Shot onto the table.

“3 damage to your two minions,” He explained quickly.

“Ah, alright,” Bitsy nodded as she moved Voodoo Doctor over to her discard pile, “You destroy my Voodoo Doctor, but Tomb Pillager still has 1 health.”

When she was done setting a health marker on Tomb Pillar, the glanced up at Ozzy.

“All done?” She asked, but he shook his head.

“Not yet,” He grinned.

Ozzy flipped his last mana token over, setting Stonetusk Boar onto the table.

“1 attack and 1 health, with Charge,” He explained, before moving his hand to tap Spirit of the Lynx, “Though it has 2 attack and 2 health now, thanks to this.”

Bitsy nodded.

“Are you going to destroy my Tomb Pillager?” She asked.

Ozzy paused to consider it. Would it be more useful to destroy her last minion, or just attack her directly? He glanced at her health pool. She had 25 left. In contrast, he only had 21. The gap was widening, and he decided it would probably be more useful to close it.

“Nah,” He shrugged, “I’m just gonna attack you directly.”

Bitsy perked an eyebrow curiously but removed two of her health counters, shrinking it down to 23.

“Not what I would’ve done,” She quipped.

Ozzy shrugged in response.

“Well, that’s why I’m gonna be the winner, eh?” He grinned.

Bitsy just rolled her eyes.

“Are you done your turn now?” She asked.

Ozzy nodded in response, and her hand moved towards her deck.

* * *

Bitsy peeked out from behind a shelf, narrowing her blue eyes suspiciously at a draenei standing nearby. The draenei glanced her glowing white eyes over towards the gnome in confusion, seeming slightly uncomfortable. Bitsy just glared back.

Suddenly a hand slapped onto her shoulder, spinning her about in place.

“Uh, what’re you doin’ over here, hidin’ behind a shelf?” Ozzy asked quietly, perking a black eyebrow at her.

“I’m just keeping an eye on the people taking too long,” She shrugged, stealing another glance towards the draenei, “Making sure nobody is a thief, like before.”

“Yeah, well, you’re just freakin’ the customers out,” He whispered, pausing to flash an apologetic smile towards the draenei, “You’re makin’ them too nervous to buy anything with your little SI:7 act.”

“Well, what would they be nervous for, if they weren’t up to something in the first place?” Bitsy crossed her arms.

“Because they got a strange gnome just starin’ at ‘em?” Ozzy furrowed his brow.

“Watching them,” Bitsy corrected.

Ozzy just sighed in response and grabbed her by the arm, leading her back into the hallway, and out of view of the customers. Then he turned back to face her slowly and Bitsy frowned. Oh dear. It seemed she was in trouble.

“Look, Bitsy, I know you’re worried and all---” He began.

“I’m not worried,” She quipped.

“---that we could get another robber, ‘cause of what happened before---”

“I’m not worried, Ozzy,” She repeated, crossing her arms.

“---but you can’t just go off the deep end,” Ozzy shrugged, “You’re makin’ people too uncomfortable to shop here, y’know?”

“Well, maybe if they weren’t being so suspicious---” Bitsy began, but Ozzy reached out and set his hands on her shoulders, stopping her.

“Look, I get it, alright? You probably never had to deal with stuff like this before. But, honestly, what did you think was gonna happen?” Ozzy perked an eyebrow, “That nothin’ was ever gonna happen? Especially after how busy the shop got? That all the gangs and stuff would just ignore us, too?”

“What are these gangs you keep talking about?” Bitsy sighed, sounding more than a little frustrated, “You keep mentioning gangs. But I’ve lived in Gadgetzan for decades, Ozzy, and I’ve never seen anything about any gangs.”

“Well, yeah, that’s because you’re naive,” Ozzy said rather bluntly.

“Excuse me?” Bitsy rose her eyebrows, unable to help taking offense at the statement.

“Hey, I ain’t sayin’ that’s a bad thing,” Ozzy shrugged, “It’s why you’re able to be so, y’know… happy?”

Bitsy scoffed, angrily turning her back towards him.

“You think I’m some kind of idiot?” She murmured, glancing aside, “Just some… happy idiot?”

“What? No, no,” Ozzy said quickly, “I just mean you’re, y’know, able to see the bright side and stuff.”

“And that’s naive of me?” Bitsy looked back over her shoulder at him.

“Err, I mean…” Ozzy glanced aside, clearing his throat.

Bitsy scoffed, facing away from him again. Ozzy sighed, hesitating a moment, before continuing.

“Look, it’s a goblin thing, alright?” He started, “Everything’s gotta be either worse than it looks, or there’s a catch. There’s no in-between. And no matter what, you bet there’s gonna be strings attached.”

Bitsy furrowed her brow, glancing back at him.

“That’s an incredibly bleak outlook on life,” She muttered, to which Ozzy just shrugged.

“Maybe, but it’s a goblin one.”

Bitsy frowned, looking forward again.

“Yes, well, gnomes believe that all things can have good and bad qualities simultaneously,” She explained, “And that we should strive to discover as many of those qualities as we can, to get the full picture.”

“Yeah, that sounds very gnomish,” Ozzy nodded, looking slightly amused.

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Bitsy snapped, turning back around to face him, arms still crossed, “Are you implying that my people are---”

“Jeez, Bitsy,” Ozzy sighed, facepalming, “Gimme a break, would ya? I ain’t implyin’ anything.”

“Then tell me about the gangs,” Bitsy sniffed, clutching her arms a little tighter.

“Why?” Ozzy furrowed his brow, “Why does that even matter? It’s just gonna make you more worried, and---”

“I’m not worried!” Bitsy whined, stamping her foot and shaking her fists like an impetuous child.

“Yeah, okay, I’m real convinced,” Ozzy droned, crossing his arms at her.

“I’m not worried!” She insisted, feeling tears start to sting her eyes, “I just… I’m just…”

With a shudder, she fell silent and sunk down to the floor. She hastily brought her hands up to cover her eyes, trying to physically force the tears to stop. It didn’t work. Across from her, Ozzy frowned and crouched down beside her.

“I’m not worried,” She repeated quietly, sniffling, “I’m… terrified.”

Bitsy lowered her head onto her knees, deeply embarrassed by the admission. She sniffled and shook her head slightly.

“I’m terrified it’ll happen again,” She admitted quietly, her words muffled by her knees.

“...It might,” Ozzy responded softly.

Bitsy paused, lifting her head to glare at him.

“That’s not helping any,” She scoffed.

“What? You want me to lie? It could happen again,” He shrugged, “Ain’t no reason to live in fear, though.”

Bitsy quickly furrowed her brow.

“But his gun---”

“Probably wasn’t even loaded,” Ozzy sighed.

Bitsy quickly cocked her head to the side in confusion.

“Look, it was probably just some kid lookin’ to make some quick coin,” He said as he reached over and set a hand on her knee, “Probably had no idea what he was even doin’ there.”

“But…” Bitsy glanced aside, “But he still could’ve killed me.”

“But he didn’t, eh?” He smiled, patting her knee, “So what’re you worryin’ about now? It’s already over.”

“But could happen again,” She frowned at him, “You said so yourself.”

“So what if it does?” He shrugged, standing up, “You’ll be fine.”

He reached down toward her to help her up. Bitsy glanced at his hand, wanting to believe him, but not sure if she could.

“How do you know?” She asked slowly, tears threatening to fall again, “How do you know it’ll be okay if it happens again?”

“Oh, that’s easy,” He chuckled, moving his hand to his hip holster, “Cause I’ll be here next time.”

Then he leaned down towards her, a grin forming on his lips.

“And I won’t let nothin’ happen to you, Shortguard,” He said as he held out his hand once more, “So trust me when I say don’t worry, eh?”

Bitsy looked at his hand, blushing slightly. This time, she took it.


	12. Come With Me

Bitsy drew the card from her deck, perking an eyebrow at it. Hooked Scimitar. She had been wondering where all the weapons of her deck were. It cost three mana and did 2 damage, gaining an additional 2 if she had a Combo.

She paused to glance over at her side of the table, examining her board state. She still had Wicked Knife for one turn, and Tomb Pillager still hanging on. Barely. Plus she had six mana to work with this turn. Hooked Scimitar seemed like a good bet, though, even if she couldn’t use it this turn.

“Drew something good?” Ozzy perked an eyebrow curiously.

Bitsy just hummed, ignoring him for the moment, and glanced down at her hand. She immediately got an idea upon glancing at one of her two copies of Sap. Pay three mana for Hooked Scimitar, and then remove one of his creatures with Sap. Then remove the other next turn with the other. It would probably be more effective to remove the Stonetusk Boar, so he had no way to attack.

“Alright,” She nodded, more to herself than to him, “I know what I’m going to do.”

Ozzy watched her curiously, gesturing for her to go ahead with it.

“First, I’ll attack you with my Wicked Knife, for 2 damage” She said she picked up the Wicked Knife card, “Being the final durability, the Wicked Knife is destroyed.”

“Attacking first, eh?” Ozzy glanced at her as he removed 2 counters from his health pool, “Just what are you up to, Shortguard…”

“Moving on to phase two,” She said with a smile, flipping three of her mana tokens, “I will then play Hooked Scimitar. It does 2 damage and has 2 durability.”

“Phase two?” Ozzy chuckled, “What, is this gonna be a whole thing?”

“Maybe,” Bitsy shrugged, before adding, “As I already attacked this turn, I can’t attack again. But you should know the Hooked Scimitar gets an additional 2 damage after I play another card.”

Then she moved over to her mana pool, flipping an additional two.

“Now onto phase three…” She began.

“Jeez, phase three now?” He grinned, “Why do I get the feeling I ain’t gonna like this one?”

“I will activate Sap,” She said as she set one copy of the card forward, “And I will use it to return your Stonetusk Boar to your hand.”

“Ah, well, that’s annoying,” He chuckled, picking up the card and bringing it back to his hand.

Bitsy glanced down at her own cards once more.

“So is there a phase four now?” Ozzy asked, sounding quite amused.

“Yes,” She nodded, gesturing to the tabletop, “Now I will attack you directly with my Tomb Pillager, dealing 5 damage.”

Ozzy whistled, moving 5 health counters away from the larger pool.

“Remind me what your health is at now?” Bitsy perked an eyebrow.

“I think 15?” Ozzy furrowed his brow, counting the tokens just to be sure, “Yeah, 15.”

“So then I retain an 8-point lead,” Bitsy smiled, “As I have 23.”

“Noted,” Ozzy nodded, “Anyway, you done yet? Or is there gonna be a phase five?”

Bitsy paused, glancing down at her cards again. Unfortunate that she had nothing in her hand costing a single mana. She supposed she could’ve used her Counterfeit Coin for the additional mana, then played Sap once more. But she was hesitant to use it so soon. After all, it would be better to keep it in case she needed it. Her deck didn’t have many powerful minions, and he likely had several. It would be safer to hold onto Sap for now, and Bitsy wasn’t one to reject the cautious path.

“Well?” Ozzy perked an eyebrow.

“Hm, no,” Bitsy shook her head at last, “No phase five. I simply end my turn.”

“Jeez, about time,” Ozzy grinned.

“Oh, you’re one to talk,” Bitsy chuckled, “Considering how long you take on your own turns.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ozzy waved a hand dismissively, before reaching towards his deck.

* * *

Bitsy sighed wearily, turning to set a heavy blunderbuss upon the shelf. Since the store had begun to sell guns, it had been in their best interest to build much larger guns, ones that were of the appropriate sizes for the other, much larger races of Azeroth. True that they sold well, but it certainly didn’t make the daily task of restocking any easier.

After setting the blunderbuss down, she paused to rest for a moment while looking at her handiwork upon the shelf. She’d certainly gotten much better at the construction of firearms, she noted proudly. She owed no small thanks to Ozzy for that. After all, without him, she wouldn’t even have known where to begin.

It was also his idea to sell firearms at all that had saved the Shortshop from going under several months back. It had, indeed, been an excellent idea. Even so, she couldn’t help remaining wary around the weapons. 

Especially after that incident with the robber last month…

Her heart rate began to spike as she realized, retroactively, that the robber had come from this shelf. This very shelf. The one she stocked now. This was where he had lingered, waiting for his moment to strike. Her breathing began to grow faster, feeling dread seep into her blood like a heavy anchor.

Bitsy jumped with a start, feeling a pair of hands suddenly set upon her shoulders---which she quickly realized had scrunched up tightly due to her increasing anxiety.

“You alright?” Ozzy asked from over her shoulder, “You’re scowlin’ at that gun like it owes you money.”

“I… huh?” Bitsy blinked, snapping back to the moment before her, “Oh, I was just… thinking.”

“That’s what you said last time, too, wasn’t it?” He quipped, more to himself than her.

“I’m a gnome,” Bitsy protested, “I’m always thinking.”

Ozzy just hummed in response and began to knead his hands against her tense shoulders. Bitsy blushed slightly at the somewhat intimate gesture, though she had to admit it was quite nice to feel the knots in her muscles begin to unravel under his curiously adept touch. After a moment, she found herself even leaning into it, despite the additional crimson it drew to her face. With the amount of stress she had felt in the last few weeks, in addition to the strain of the restocking she’d just concluded, it seemed like ages since she hadn’t been too tightly wound for a moment of comfort. She ultimately concluded that she could really quite use such a gesture, somewhat intimate as it may be.

“...What about?” Ozzy asked after a moment.

His tone made it sound like he already knew the answer, and was asking out of the mere courtesy of having her confess it herself. Bitsy, meanwhile, blinked in confusion and had to take a moment to remember where their conversation had left off. His hands on her shoulders were, surprisingly, quite distracting.

“Oh, just, um…” Bitsy trailed off, unsure what excuse to offer.

“The robbery again?” Ozzy asked quietly, his hands stilling for a moment.

“Yes,” Bitsy confessed.

She was unable to hide the fact that she was a bit saddened when his warm hands moved away from her shoulders, leaving her feeling suddenly cold and exposed. In response, she turned around to face him, as though it were a silent act of protest. Alas, he seemed not to register her unspoken intention, and just crossed his arms.

“I already told you, you don’t gotta worry about that,” Ozzy frowned.

“It’s not that,” Bitsy sighed, casting her gaze aside, towards the wicked shelf that was the cause of her present misfortune.

Ozzy curiously followed her gaze, perking an eyebrow. Of course he didn’t understand, she frowned. After all, he wasn’t there.

“I just can’t stop remembering it,” She sighed, voice quiet like a whisper.

She was embarrassed by her own admittance. It made her feel vulnerable. Ozzy furrowed his brow, watching her for a moment. Then he tentatively reached out, setting his hand under her chin, and tilted her head up to face him.

“Y’know what I think?” He smiled slightly, “I think maybe you should go do something else for a while. Go be somewhere else, clear your head and stuff.”

“Huh?” Bitsy blinked at him, “You mean… like a trip?”

“Sure,” Ozzy shrugged, rescinding his hand, “Whatever you want.”

“But what about the store?” She quickly knitted her brow in worry, “If I’m not here to---”

“Relax, relax,” Ozzy chuckled, “I’ll take care of it, eh?”

Bitsy frowned, ready to protest again, but Ozzy continued on.

“Look, you’ve been real stressed out lately. And you’ve been workin’ hard to run this place, especially all those months before I came to help,” Ozzy said with a shrug, “I’m just sayin’ you should go take a vacation or something. Go enjoy yourself, forget about all this robbery stuff.”

“But I---” Bitsy began, but Ozzy shook his head, cutting her off.

“Bitsy, this place was your dream,” He said quietly, his expression taking a serious glint, “And now you can’t even enjoy it. What’s the point of all this if not that, eh? What’d I even pay for?”

“The money?” Bitsy perked an eyebrow, “I mean, that’s what you said…”

Ozzy waved a hand dismissively, offering no direct comment on that.

“Whatever, that’s not the point. I just think you should get outta the shop for a bit,” He sighed, “It’ll do you some good.”

Bitsy glanced aside, having to admit his suggestion did indeed sound appealing. It’d been months since she had any time to herself, since she opened the store. Almost a year now, in fact. Maybe he was right. Maybe a trip would be just what she needed.

“But where would I even go?” She asked after a moment, “I’ve never really traveled outside of Gadgetzan.”

“Well, anywhere you want,” Ozzy shrugged, leaning back on his arm against the shelf, “Sky’s the limit, eh?”

“But how would I---”

“I have some Kabal connections,” Ozzy waved a hand dismissively, “I can pull a few strings, get you a portal to wherever you want. Outland, even. Y’know, if that’s your idea of a vacation.”

“Kabal…?” Bitsy blinked, and again Ozzy dismissed this.

“Don’t worry about it. Not important,” He cleared his throat, “So, where would you wanna go? What kinda place? I’m pretty well-traveled, I gotta say, so maybe I can point you in the right direction, eh?”

“Well, let me think…” Bitsy tapped her finger against her chin, “I guess I would want to go somewhere with adequate public services.”

“So a city or something,” He nodded, “Got it. What else?”

“Well, probably a neutral city,” Bitsy tapped her chin again, “But a secure one.”

“Alright, well,the Steamweedle Cartel’s got some major cities that are open to everybody,” Ozzy counted on his fingers, “Excludin’ Gadgetzan, of course, there’s Everlook up north in Winterspring…”

“Too cold,” Bitsy quickly shook her head.

“They have a great some really great engineer---”

“Too cold,” Bitsy repeated, not even willing to hear him out.

She’d been born in Dun Morogh. And ever since she left it behind all those years ago, she was determined never to go back to the cold.

“Well, then there’s Ratchet, down in the Barrens…” Ozzy continued, before adding, “Great place to go if you wanna drop off the map and just relax. I mean, as long as you keep an eye out for the raptors. And the prowlers. And don’t go swimmin’ in the river ‘cause the crocolisks tend to---”

“Too many animals,” Bitsy cut him off, furrowing her brow.

“Uh, well…” Ozzy mumbled, glancing aside, “Guess that leaves you one choice...”

“That being?” Bitsy perked an eyebrow.

“Uh, y’know,” He shrugged, suddenly looking a bit uncomfortable, “Booty Bay.”

“Hmm…” Bitsy returned to tapping her chin, “That’s in Stranglethorn, isn’t it? The cape?”

“Yeah,” Ozzy cleared his throat, “It is.”

Bitsy perked an eyebrow curiously, noting his sudden shift in demeanor. But she couldn’t put her finger on a cause, and decided to simply file that away. For now.

“Have you ever been there?” She asked, and he nearly jumped at the question.

“Er, why do you ask?” He asked, almost sounding suspicious.

“I just want to know if it’s a good place for a vacation,” She responded, looking at him flatly.

He was definitely being odd about this, she confirmed. And maybe it wasn’t something to simply dismiss for the time being, as she initially intended. Maybe it would be better to push him on the matter? Surely it would be good for him to confront whatever issue he seemed to have with the city. Admittedly, her curiosity was the main driving force. But it ran in tandem with a genuine concern.

“Oh, well, yeah,” Ozzy nodded, “I mean, Booty Bay? For a vacation? You can’t beat it.”

Bitsy hummed, glancing aside.

“Well, that sounds like the place I want to go, then” She nodded back, slowly looking back at him, “Though I don’t really want to go alone.”

Ozzy blinked at her, willfully adding nothing.

“It’s so far away,” She continued, pushing further, “I’d be all alone in another continent, a completely unfamiliar place…”

“Well, Booty Bay’s pretty safe, long as you don’t act like an idiot,” Ozzy shrugged, cracking an uncomfortable grin, “So you’ll probably be fine.”

Bitsy furrowed her brow slightly at how much he was resisting.

“I’d feel a lot safer if I had someone with me,” She said a bit curtly, her annoyance showing slightly.

“Bring a pet,” Ozzy offered flatly.

“Someone who knew the city would be more useful,” She pushed on.

“So hire a guide,” He countered.

“I don’t have the money.”

“I’ll pay for it.”

“I’ll be lonely.”

“You’ll be fine.”

“Ozmyveld,” Bitsy growled, her irritation seeping further into her tone.

“Lizbit,” Ozzy responded, his tone just a frank.

“...Come with me,” Bitsy demanded, finally throwing subtlety to the wind.

“No,” Ozzy shook his head.

“Why not?” She frowned.

“Don’t wanna,” He glanced aside, “Gotta stay and watch the store.”

“We can just close the store while we’re gone,” She crossed her arms.

“And lose profits?” He perked an eyebrow.

“Profits aren’t that important,” Bitsy huffed.

“That offends me as a goblin,” Ozzy scowled.

Bitsy growled in frustration and flicked her blue eyes over towards the door. Then she got an idea.

“...Then I’m not going,” She uttered quietly, crossing her arms tighter across her chest.

In response, Ozzy sighed hotly.

“Bitsy…” He began, tone as unhappy as hers.

“No,” She shook her head, adamant in her decision, “If you won’t come with me, then I’m not going. I’ll just stay here and work myself to death. Will that make you happy?”

Ozzy groaned, facepalming in a gesture of exasperation.

“Why do you want me to come with you so badly?” He asked tiredly.

“Because I do,” She answered vaguely, earning an annoyed grunt in response.

Ozzy lowered his hand from his face and looked over at her, yellowed eyes scowling quite crossly.

“...Fine,” He finally relented, before pointing a green finger at her, “But I ain’t gonna enjoy myself. You hear me?”

“We’ll see about that,” Bitsy grinned, reveling in her victory.

Ozzy just grumbled, glancing aside bitterly.


	13. The Realization

Ozzy grinned as he looked at his newly-drawn card. He couldn’t help it. It was Timber Wolf. A one-cost minion with matching attack and health. But the good part was its effect. It would grant an additional attack to all Beast minions. And as it happened? Aside from Spirit of the Lynx, all of his minions were Beasts. Even the Vilebrood Skitterer in his hand, which he was going to play this turn. And being that he had enough mana for it, he could summon both this turn.

“Alright,” He smirked confidently, “Let’s make this fairly quick, eh?”

“Oh, by all means,” Bitsy smiled, “Take your turn.”

“You’ll wish I didn’t when I’m done,” Ozzy grinned, to which Bitsy just rolled her eyes.

“You’d better back up all this talk, Fizzlefuse,” She teased, “Or I’m going to be thoroughly disappointed.

“Well, hey, I wouldn’t wanna disappoint a lady,” Ozzy chuckled in response.

Then he reached over and flipped a single mana counter, earning a chuckle from Bitsy.

“All that for a one-cost card?” She perked an eyebrow,” Ozzy, I’m so disappointed.”

“Hey, you haven’t even seen the card yet,” Ozzy furrowed his brow, “Hold your disappointment, eh?”

“Alright, alright,” She crossed her arms on the table, “But you really better wow me.”

Ozzy shook his head in amusement and set Timber Wolf onto the field.

“A 1-1 minion?” Bitsy rose her eyebrows, “Ozzy…”

“Wait, wait,” Ozzy held up a hand, “You didn’t hear what it does yet.”

“Fine, what’s it do?” Bitsy perked an eyebrow.

“It gives 1 attack to all my other Beast minions.”

“Hmm,” Bitsy glanced aside, “Well, I suppose that isn’t terrible…”

“See? See?” Ozzy grinned, “You’re too quick to judge.”

“Oh, please,” Bitsy waved a hand, “It’s still not brag-worthy.”

“Well, then what about this?”

Ozzy reached over flipping his five remaining mana counters. Bitsy watched curiously as he then set Vilebrood Skitterer onto the table.

“It become a 3 attack minion thanks to Spirit of the Lynx and Timber Wolf,” He smirked, “Plus it has Poisonous. And Rush.”

“Rush?” Bitsy blinked, her amusement faltering, “You mean it can attack immediately?”

“Other minions, yup,” He nodded, “So, say goodbye to your Tomb Pillager.”

Bitsy frowned, picking up her Tomb Pillager.

“At least your spider dies too,” She pouted, setting her Tomb Pillager into the discard pile, “And my Deathrattle effect activates, so I gain a coin.”

Ozzy waited as she fished the copper coin from her pocket again, setting it next to her deck.

“Is that all?” She asked when she was finished, “Seems like you had a lot of bravado for not even being able to deal one point of damage to me. I’m still in the lead, by eight points, if you don’t remember.”

“Long game, Miss Shortguard,” Ozzy grinned, sitting back in his seat, “Playin’ the long game.”

“Yes, I’m sure,” She rolled her eyes, “So, are you done your turn, then?”

Ozzy looked around towards his cards, confirming he was done, before nodding over towards her. Bitsy nodded back in response and then went to draw the card from her deck.

* * *

Ozzy sighed, leaning onto the railing. He took a brief respite from staring down at the sun glinting off of the South Sea, pulling the portable horometer from his pocket. It wouldn’t take long for the zeppelin to reach Stranglethorn, he noted bitterly, before returning the horometer to its place.

Behind him on the deck then came a commotion. Ozzy glanced back over his shoulder curiously.

“Look, lady,” The goblin engineer sighed in exasperation, “I just work here, alright?”

“Which is precisely why you must know,” Bitsy furrowed her brow, to which the engineer gave another sigh.

“Lady, I just clean dead birds outta the propellers,” He shrugged, “I dunno how all this stuff works. And, really, I don’t care.”

Bitsy frowned upon hearing this.

“Well, surely someone here would know---”

The engineer groaned in frustration, turning away from her abruptly to return to his station. Ozzy just chuckled in amusement, watching Bitsy shake her fists in equal annoyance after the departing figure.

Then a voice drew him from his thoughts.

“Oi, Fizzlefuse.”

Ozzy glanced over, seeing a rather cross old goblin leaning on the railing next to him. His face was wind-chapped from years in the skies, though his eyes remained relatively unharmed. Aside from the deep lines from the goggles he always wore, which now were slung upon his forehead.

“Sky-captain,” Ozzy nodded to him in greeting.

“Gonna be honest with ya, here, moneybags,” The sky-captain looked over at him flatly, “The gnome is kinda freakin’ out the crew.”

“What, Bitsy? She’s harmless,” Ozzy waved a hand dismissively.

“Yeah, well, a lot of the crew are gettin’ worried,” The sky-captain shrugged, “This don’t seem like the kinda thing the big boss would like, y’know.”

“Which is why I’m payin’ you extra not to mention this to him,” Ozzy narrowed his eyes, “He don’t gotta know I was ever here.”

“Whatever you say, moneybags,” The sky-captain shrugged, glancing aside.

The two of them were silent for a moment, hearing nothing but the sound of the wind whipping and the engine sputtering along. Then the sky-captain turned back to Ozzy.

“I’m just sayin’ the crew feels this is a risky run, y’know?” The sky-captain perked a grey eyebrow.

He hesitated a moment before adding, “And risky runs deserve compensation.”

“I already paid you extra,” Ozzy scowled.

“Yeah,” The sky-captain nodded, “For silence.”

Ozzy frowned as the sky-captain slowly started to grin.

“We sure didn’t say nothin’ about compensatin’ for danger.”

“How is this dangerous?” Ozzy leaned away from the railing, “This is a standard run to Booty Bay.”

“Danger to our careers,” The sky-captain quipped, “Big boss could fire us if he found out we were haulin’ a gnome.”

Ozzy rolled his eyes. This guy just wasn’t gonna let it go, was he? Grumbling, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet.

“Fine, whatever, take your stupid little ‘danger compensation’ then,” Ozzy grumbled, practically throwing a few gold coins at the other goblin.

The sky-captain caught them with a surely-practiced ease, grinning even broader as he pocketed the coins.

“Now get outta here, would you?” Ozzy grumbled, going to return his wallet to his pocket.

But the sky-captain didn’t budge.

“Uhh, there is also…” He glanced aside, scratching his chin absent-mindedly.

Ozzy furrowed his brow, his hand freezing.

“Oh, what now?” He muttered, to which the sky-captain just cleared his throat.

“We also gotta discuss the seasonal fee,” He said coolly.

“The what?” Ozzy hissed.

“It is tourist season,” The goblin shrugged, “We’re in high demand this time of year, y’know?”

Ozzy groaned, knowing this would go away no easier than his other imaginary fees. Instead, he just reached into his wallet again and tossed a few more gold coins at the sky-captain.

“Right, right,” The sky-captain nodded, pocketing the coins again, “Y’know, we also have to take into account the, uh, unusual passenger fee…”

Ozzy squinted at him suspiciously, as he deliberately slid his wallet back into his pocket. At this point, he would rather just get thrown overboard.

“Don’t you have a zeppelin to captain?” Ozzy grumbled, leaning back on the railing and turning away from him, “Better go get to it.”

The sky-captain frowned, seeing he’d get no further money, and took his leave.

Ozzy meanwhile grumpily set his chin forward onto the railing. Well, this trip was going great already, he thought to himself. He was already out a couple hundred gold on transit alone. He was dreading to think just how much of a hole the city itself would burn in his wallet.

“Ozzy?”

Ozzy quickly sat up and looked over beside him. Where the sky-captain once stood, now stood Bitsy, looking at him curiously.

“What did that goblin want?” She paused to look back over her shoulder, “What were you talking about?”

“Ah, it ain’t important,” Ozzy waved a hand dismissively, “Just, uh, some last-minute stuff about the arrival.”

“Is everything alright?” She asked, unable to hide the concern in her voice.

“Oh, yeah, just fine,” He nodded, lying through his teeth, “Everything’s great.”

In truth, everything was not great. Everything was, objectively, kinda awful. He felt so conflicted. Returning to Booty Bay was probably the last thing in the world that he wanted. Why Bitsy had insisted he came along, he’d never know. Maybe she was just nervous about traveling on her own, or something?

But on the other hand, he couldn’t say it was a terrible thing, traveling with her. In theory. He did enjoy her company, after all. He enjoyed it quite a lot, in fact. Probably more than he should’ve. He couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was that he enjoyed. It wasn’t like they did anything particularly interesting together. Just tending to the shop, mostly.

But then, maybe it wasn’t one thing in particular he enjoyed about her.

After all, he enjoyed the sound of her voice, especially her laughter. That was probably the reason he spent most of their days at the shop trying to tell her jokes. Just to get a brief moment of that coveted sound. That moment could end up being the highlight of his day, sometimes.

But he also enjoyed the way she’d practically vibrate with excitement when she got engaged in something. Her enthusiasm for the things that interested her would never cease to amuse him. It was terribly endearing, and it embarrassed him how captivated he was by her zeal. It was so unlike the nature of goblins, for whom sarcastic apathy was the norm. The only passion goblins were truly free to explore was one for explosions or destruction, which he admittedly lacked for the most part.

And, of course, he enjoyed looking at her. His particular favorite thing was the way she’d wrinkle her little nose when she was thinking especially hard about something. It was kind of surprising to consider, when he thought about it. 

Ozzy never been a particular fan of gnomes before. Not that he had anything against them, per se. He’d always just seen them as know-it-alls. In his eyes, gnomes were self-righteous goody-goodies using their engineering skills for silly things like ‘bettering the world’ and ‘making a difference’ instead of something more reasonable, like coin.

That is, that was what he thought until Bitsy came along.

Granted, she could still be quite the know-it-all when she wanted. Which was most of the time, admittedly. But, curiously, Ozzy found that this quality about her didn’t really bother him. It might’ve, once upon a time, but now he just regarded it as another one of her cute quirks.

Ozzy glanced over towards Bitsy, and then suddenly, it hit him.

He was in love with her.

“...Are you sure you’re alright?” Bitsy asked quietly, drawing him back from his thoughts.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah,” Ozzy waved a hand dismissively, blushing slightly.

“I’m sorry I pushed you to come with me,” She frowned, “I should’ve just respected your wishes when you said you didn’t want to.”

“It’s fine,” Ozzy shrugged, glancing down at the ocean.

“No it isn’t,” Bitsy sighed, “It was inconsiderate of me, and I---”

“Bitsy, it’s fine,” Ozzy interrupted, leaning forward onto the railing, “Really.”

Bitsy frowned again, leaning on the railing beside him.

“It’s not like it’s some big deal anyway,” Ozzy shrugged, “I just, uh, have somebody I really don’t wanna run into.”

“Well,” Bitsy smiled hopefully, “Booty Bay is a big city right? What are the chances you’ll run into one person?”

Ozzy smiled back weakly, nodding in agreement. Even if he knew those chances were much higher than she realized.


	14. Presentation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not beta'd. May have typos.

Bitsy furrowed her brow upon drawing Elven Archer. Well, at least it was a minion. Now that her Tomb Pillager was gone, she was entirely exposed. Still, it only had 1 attack. Fitting, given it was a one-cost minion, but it wasn’t quite what she wanted to draw so late in the game. It was really more of an early-use card.

Frowning, she glanced at her hand for something else to do. After all, she had seven mana to work with. There should’ve been something she could do. But all she had in her hand were that other copy of Sap and the Counterfeit Coin. The latter of which she didn’t really even need anymore, given the fact that she possessed the actual coin as well.

True, she could’ve used Sap, but it wasn’t as though he had anything particularly impressive on the field, and she hardly would’ve seen that Spirit of the Lynx as worth returning to his hand. It had 0 attack, after all. Likewise for his Timber Wolf. It was simply too weak to waste her Sap on, especially given how easily it would be replaced the next turn.

Disappointed in her lack of prospects, Bitsy couldn’t help but give a frustrated sigh. In response, Ozzy perked an eyebrow from across the table.

“Got nothing you can do, eh?” He asked, leaning his arms onto the table.

“No, I’m just thinking,” Bitsy answered guardedly.

Ozzy just chuckled in response.

Bitsy glanced at the state of her board, when she got an idea. True, she didn’t have a use for her six other mana. But she did have a plan. Slowly, a smile began to form on her lips.

“Jeez, you ain’t even tryin’ to keep a poker face anymore,” Ozzy quipped.

“Oh, neither are you,” Bitsy rolled her eyes, “You look so worried every time you draw a card.”

“Hey,” Ozzy looked at her flatly, “Not every time.”

“But most,” Bitsy chuckled, reaching over and flipping a single mana crystal.

She then set Elven Archer onto the table.

“Elven Archer has 1 attack and 1 health,” Bitsy explained quickly, “And her Battlecry allows me to deal 1 damage to anyone—“

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Ozzy interrupted, “Pretty sure I got a copy of that one in here somewhere, too.”

Bitsy nodded.

“Well, then it surely comes as no surprise, but I will damage your health directly.”

Ozzy nodded back, removing a single counter from his health pool. It left 14 behind.

Bitsy then smiled and tapped her Hooked Scimitar.

“Combo,” She smirked, “I played a card, so this gains 2 damage for the turn. So I’ll attack you now, for 4 damage total.”

Ozzy grumbled slightly, sweeping 4 more counters from his health pool. Only 10 left. The end wasn’t far off, now.

“Hooked Scimitar has 1 durability left,” Bitsy reminded him, glancing at cards in her hand.

Ozzy frowned, waiting for her to make her next move. Which is why he blinked at her in surprise when she signalled the end of her turn.

“Eh?” He perked an eyebrow, “What, you really don’t got nothin’ you can do?”

“Just take your turn already,” Bitsy grumbled, glancing aside.

“Hmm, well, alright…” Ozzy glanced at her warily, before drawing his card.

Booty Bay was much more than Bitsy had expected. Just much… more, in general. It was bigger, and noisier, and busier than she’d ever seen Gadgetzan get on a good day. The city was like several cities cobbled on top of each other, each getting progressively less rickety as you went up, though all still looked quite rickety to begin with. Everything looked ready to collapse, with half the city still being under repair from the Cataclysm a few years back. Yet, at the same time, it didn’t quite look ready to fall. Not today, at least. There was something awfully captivating about it, the regimented yet unbridled chaos of it all.

Bitsy began her gaze over the city at sea level. It appeared that several unscrupulous salesmen hawked suspicious off-brand goods by the pier, offering bits and baubles to anyone who passed. The pier, which strained with passengers traveling to and from the ever-changing docked ships, was of the same rickety goblin construction as most of the city. Along the fringes of the cove fishermen of all races stood widely-spaced along the lower rung of docks, eyeing each other suspiciously as they cast out to the same waters. Like there wasn’t enough for everyone. Back further away from the water sat several squished little stores, each looking shadier than the last, each sporting a pair of ne’er-do-wells with shifty eyes lingering in the shadows nearby. Probably best to keep away from that area, Bitsy noted to herself.

The second tier appeared to consist of the city’s main tourist destinations. The businesses of this level looked fairly legitimate. At least, as legitimate as goblin-run businesses could be to begin with. There was a wide host of restaurants, bars, and little shops selling everything from clothes to weapons. There was also a large building tucked into the corner, a boat unceremoniously built into the side of it. Bitsy perked an eyebrow in amusement, then shifted her gaze at last to the third and highest tier.

The third tier, while unmistakably goblin in construction, was curiously more refined than the lower tiers. The buildings, residences apparently, were stately and large, dotted with various shops in between of a similar size. Due to their massive size compared to the significantly smaller buildings of the two decks below, these large estates dwarfed much of the rest of the city, and almost seemed to be carried upon the backs of their smaller underlings. Bitsy knew enough about goblins to know this probably wasn’t accidental by any means.

“Wow,” She mumbled, “It’s quite… impressive.”

“Yep,” Ozzy nodded, “Very impressive.”

Bitsy at last turned over towards Ozzy beside her and paused, noticing he wasn’t even looking at the city. He was leaning forward onto the railing of the zeppelin tower, chin resting on his hand, as he stared directly at her with a vague smile. Bitsy perked a pink eyebrow, blushing slightly as he repeated the gesture. Yet somehow differently. Different enough to make her blush, anyway.

“Well,” She cleared her throat, glancing back to the city below, “Ozzy, you’re the expert on Booty Bay. Where shall we go first?”

Ozzy hummed, looking out across the city thoughtfully.

“Well, I always thought the Salty Sailor was the most interestin’ place here,” He shrugged, glancing towards the building in question.

It was the one with the boat sticking out of the side of the building.

“What’s the story with the boat?” She asked.

“Don’t ask,” Ozzy shook his head, “Revilgaz’s idea.”

“Who?” Bitsy perked an eyebrow.

“...Baron Revilgaz,” Ozzy glanced over at her, almost in disbelief, “Y’know, the leader of the Blackwater Raiders?”

“The who?” Bitsy blinked.

“Oh boy,” Ozzy mumbled, turning to face her, “You mean you really don’t know?”

Bitsy just shrugged.

“Aren’t you gnomes supposed to know everything or whatever?” Ozzy looked exasperated.

“Only regarding our own interests,” Bitsy tapped her chin, “And, well, I’m sorry, but the inner politics of a city I’ve never been to was never quite a topic of my interest.”

Ozzy sighed in response.

“Okay, look, I’ll explain it to you on the way, eh?”

Bitsy did her best to follow along as he explained who was really in charge of Booty Bay. Or, at least, he attempted to explain. The answer was rather complicated. Booty Bay was run, in theory, by the Steamwheedle Cartel. Which meant the Trade Prince of that respective Cartel. But on the ground, the Blackwater Raiders---pirates, that is---were the real ruling force. And their leader was Baron Revilgaz, who also happened to be the wealthiest man in town. As they arrived at the Salty Sailor Tavern, Ozzy started to explain how all the richest inhabitants did get quite a lot of sway over local politics, before abruptly stopping himself and changing the subject to that of Booty Bay’s most famous attractions.

Bitsy noticed this sudden shift in conversation was odd, but chose not to say anything. After all, she’d already pushed him so far out of his comfort zone by dragging him along to Stranglethorn with her. There was no need for her to metaphorically twist the knife, as it were.

“And speakin’ of Booty Bay’s main attractions,” Ozzy quipped, leaning against the bar, “You gotta try this place’s signature drink.”

Bitsy nodded, perking an eyebrow as he signaled to the bartender.

“It can’t be better than the Road Warrior’s signature,” Bitsy shrugged, “I love the name.”

“Bah, you’re wrong there, toots,” The bartender sniffed, interjecting, “Fizzgrimble doesn’t know what he’s doing, servin’ a drink outta an old tin can like that. Any barkeep worth his liquor license knows presentation is the most important part.”

“Not taste?” Bitsy perked an eyebrow at him.

In response, the bartender set a small cut pineapple on the counter, decorated by a little paper umbrella and a purple curly straw. Bitsy blinked in surprise, picking up the pineapple curiously. Then she tentatively took a sip from the straw.

“Told ya,” The bartender grinned, “Presentation.”

Bitsy took another sip of her drink as Ozzy unenthusiastically slipped a few coins over to the bartender. She turned to look around the room. The tavern was about what she expected, given the state of the rest of the city. As well as the fact that the main patrons were pirates. But then she froze, pausing mid-sip as she noticed a goblin seated towards the corner of the room with his arms over the booth. He had two large, and menacing, hobgoblins sitting on either side of him. But that wasn’t the part that concerned Bitsy.

That part that concerned her… was how he was staring directly at her and Ozzy with a suspicious squint.

“Um, Ozzy?” She furrowed her brow, reaching over to tug his sleeve, “That guy is staring at us…”

“Eh, it’s fine,” Ozzy shrugged nonchalantly, “People are probably gonna stare, seein’ us together. Probably got the wrong idea, y’know? Just ignore it.”

Bitsy frowned but nodded. Then she looked down, taking another sip of her drink. She was doing her best to ignore that staring goblin. But no matter how much she tried to pay it no mind, she could still feel the pressure of his intimidating stare on her. Despite knowing she shouldn’t, her blue eyes flicked up to steal a glance at him. She immediately regretted it, seeing he was still staring, but now with an amused smirk. Bitsy glanced aside again quickly, unable to ignore how curiously similar that other goblin looked to the one standing beside her.

“Ozzy…” Bitsy whined quietly, “He’s still staring. It’s really freaking me out...”

“Alright, alright, relax,” Ozzy turned to her, setting a hand over his gun holster, “Where is he? I’ll have a word with him, eh?”

“Um, y-you don’t have to go that far,” Bitsy whispered, eyes moving to his gun holster, “Just… you know…”

“Just point him out,” He perked an eyebrow, hand not moving.

Bitsy frowned again, glancing across the room. When he didn’t quite follow her gaze, she sighed.

“The one with the hobgoblins, in the back,” She murmured.

Ozzy looked over towards the goblin in question and his eyes widened, hand quickly dropping from his holster.

“Oh jeez, not him…” He muttered, the words barely audible to her.

“Hm? Do you know him?” Bitsy blinked.

“Uhh, we should go,” Ozzy glanced at her quickly, taking a hold of her hand.

Before Bitsy could respond, Ozzy was pulling her through the crowd, towards the door. She furrowed her brow, glancing over towards where the other goblin sat. She blinked in surprise upon realizing he was gone. And then Ozzy stopped short, causing her to crash into his back. Bitsy curiously peeked over his shoulder, seeing the goblin and his two hobgoblins blocking their path.

“Well, well, well,” The goblin grinned, “If it isn’t little Ozmyveld…”

He paused to grin at Bitsy specifically.

“And friend,” He added.

“Ugh, just get outta the way,” Ozzy grumbled, huffing when they didn’t let him pass.

“Ozzy?” Bitsy whispered, “Who is this?”

“Nobody important,” Ozzy scowled.

“Now, now, now, Ozzy,” The other goblin waggled a finger scoldingly, “Is that any way to talk about your big brother?”

“Brother?” Bitsy blinked in surprise, making the other goblin’s grin only grow.

“Oh? Did Ozzy not tell you about me, little lady?” The other goblin chuckled, before bowing a little, “Kivnebozz Fizzlefuse, at your service.”

He glanced over at Bitsy again.

“But you can just call me Kiv, little lady,” He winked, making her blush.

“Can you just move already?” Ozzy snapped impatiently.

“Sure, sure, sure,” Kiv smiled, “We should get goin’ anyway.”

Kiv turned towards the door, before snapping his fingers. At this command, the two hobgoblins grabbed onto Bitsy and Ozzy, squeezing their large hands around their arms and pinning them to their sides. It made it impossible to move. That didn’t stop Ozzy from struggling with all his might anyway. Vainly, of course.

“After all, Ozzy,” Kiv glanced back over his shoulder, “The family will be very eager to see you.”


	15. Father

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not beta'd. Could be typos.

The card that Ozzy drew was not one that he expected, but useful all the same. Secret Plan. It would allow him to find a Secret card from his deck. He supposed it would be a useful defense, given his health was getting fairly low. And since it only cost a single mana, why not?

“Alright, well I’ll play Secret Plan,” He said quickly as he flipped one mana token, before setting the card down onto the table.

“That lets you search your deck, right?” Bitsy asked, to which Ozzy nodded, already picking up his deck.

He skimmed through, looking at the different Secrets he had. In the end, his decision came down to one of two good options. Bear Trap or Explosive Trap. Both were 2-cost Secrets that triggered when he was attacked, but the key difference was when they played out. 

Bear Trap would allow her attack to connect, but summon a 3-attack Ironfur Grizzly with Taunt. It was a Beast, meaning it would gain all the other bonuses. But it would still let that first attack connect. And with his health as low as it was, that was definitely something to give him pause. 

The other option, Explosive Trap, would activate whenever an attack on him was declared, and thus potentially stopping it in advance. It would then deal 2 damage to all enemies, including minions and player alike. Potentially, it could clear her board and do a little damage to her directly, too.

It was a tricky choice, but ultimately his goblin instincts got the better of him and he chose Explosive Trap. He set the card with his hand pile and then shuffled his deck, setting it back into place.

Glancing at his remaining six mana, Ozzy decided there’d be no harm in it. He’d just play the Secret now. Flipping over two of his mana counters, he set the Explosive Trap onto the table, face-down.

“Using the Secret already?” Bitsy smirked, “Why am I not surprised?”

“Hey, well don’t worry,” Ozzy grinned, “You will be soon enough, eh?”

Bitsy just smiled and rolled her eyes in response.

“One last thing,” He said, flipping one more mana counter.

Then he set Stonetusk Boar onto the table once again.

“Like before, he becomes a 3-attack, 2-health minion thanks to Spirit of the Lynx and Timber Wolf,” Ozzy explained quickly, “With Charge.”

“Mmhm, I remember,” Bitsy scowled at the Boar.

“Alright, well, I think that’s enough playin’ stuff for now,” Ozzy nodded, tapping the cards in his hand against the table, “Time to attack, eh?”

Bitsy frowned but nodded, moving a hand over towards her health counters.

“So, first, I’ll attack you directly with Stonetusk Boar. That’s 3 damage,” He paused, watching her remove 3 health tokens, “Then I’ll attack you directly with Timber Wolf, that’s 2 more.”

“Oh, right, it’s 2-attack,” Bitsy said as she removed 2 more counters, “I forgot. From the Spirit of the Lynx, right?”

“Yup,” Ozzy nodded, “So, uh, what’s your health at now?”

“18 left,” Bitsy answered, “Still an 8-point lead, though.”

“For now,” Ozzy grinned, to which she rolled her eyes again.

“Yes, well, are you done then?” She asked to which he nodded again.

She smiled in response and reached forward, drawing her card for the turn.

* * *

Ozzy growled in frustration as the hobgoblin carrying him finally stopped in front of an unfortunately familiar manor.

“Now, now, now, little brother,” Kiv tsked as they entered, “You’re gonna upset Dug, carryin’ on like that.”

“I’m Durg,” The hobgoblin carrying him whined.

“I’m Dug,” The hobgoblin carrying Bitsy beside them continued.

“Whatever,” Kiv waved a hand dismissively, “Anyway youse two can just get outta here now.”

Both Dug and Durg turned to leave and Kiv cleared his throat, making them both turn back and blink at him in confusion.

“Drop ‘em first…”

On command, both hobgoblins unceremoniously dropped Ozzy and Bitsy onto the floor of the manor’s foyer. Ozzy winced as he landed against his keys. He scowled, sitting up quickly.

“Now go,” Kiv commanded.

“Uhh, go where?” Dug asked cluelessly.

“I don’t care, just… just go guard the front door, or something,” Kiv sighed, waving them off again.

The two hobgoblins shrugged at each other and then hobbled off out the door. Once they were gone, Kiv cleared his throat and turned back to face Ozzy and Bitsy.

“Where are we?” Bitsy asked, looking around as she stood up, “Where did you take us?”

“Home,” Kiv smiled, “Welcome to the Fizzlefuse Estate, little lady. Biggest house in Booty Bay, y’know.”

Bitsy hummed in disinterest, approaching a mural on the wall and perking a pink eyebrow. Ozzy stood up and brushed off his clothes, rolling his eyes as he glanced at the mural himself. Oh, please don’t start telling the story, he thought to himself.

“Ah, this is our family’s namesake, Flazz Fizzlegrim,” Kiv explained, moving over beside Bitsy, “Flazzy to her friends.”

“What an unflattering name,” Bitsy quipped, looking up at the mural.

The mural showed a female goblin underwater in a diving suit, holding up a bomb on the brink of exploding. If he squinted, Ozzy could sorta-kinda see a vague family resemblance. She had the same tint of green skin, as shown through the glass of her diving helmet. That was about as much resemblance as one could expect from a great-great-grandmother.

In contrast, there was probably no mistaking that he and Kiv were brothers once you looked at them, even if they did have different mothers. They had the same angle of pointed chin, the same wiry black hair, and even the same shape of crooked nose. Though, Ozzy’s nose was probably the more crooked of the two, being that he’d broken it quite a few times back in his pub crawler days.

“Flazzy engineered the first reliable visco fuse that could burn underwater,” Kiv explained proudly, “She was hired by the Blackwater Raiders to find a way for their cannons to work even when they got wet. Which, y’know, happens a lot on a ship. So anyway, one day, she got the idea to coat a corded blackpowder core in---”

“---a low-nitrate lacquer?” Bitsy finished for him, pink eyebrows raised.

“Exactly!” Kiv grinned, “With a diluted nitric acid, one that was insoluble in water---”

“Such as bismuth subnitrate,” Bitsy suggested excitedly, to which Kiv nodded quickly.

“---then it would be possible to design a fuse and keep it lit, even underwater!” Kiv finished, just as excitedly as Bitsy, “Thus, the Fizzle Fuse, now used in cannons worldwide!”

Ozzy, meanwhile, grumpily leaned back against the wall with his arms crossed. How many times had it been that he’d heard this story by now? It was annoying to hear it again, but he still couldn’t resist a slight smile as he watched Bitsy grow excited. At least she made it worthwhile.

“Oh, Kiv, don’t tell me you’re bothering our guest with that silly old story,” A female voice interjected from atop the nearby stairwell.

“You’d better not be sharing trade secrets,” A male voice called from beside her.

Ozzy groaned, leaning back against the wall. Hard. Like he wished he could just sink into it.

“Dad, Kadi,” Kiv nodded to the two other goblins as they descended the stairs, “Look who decided to show his face.”

Kiv pointed over towards Ozzy, who could only stand there and once again wish that he was an only child.

“Hm? What?” The woman, Kadi apparently, turned to him curiously, “Oh, Wirt, is this your son? The one you talked about?”

“You look thin, Ozmyveld” His father sneered, “Living on your own wasn’t as easy as you expected, was it? Ready to throw in the towel and come home, eh?”

“No shame in that,” Kadi shrugged, a bit cluelessly.

“And what would you know about shame, lady?” Ozzy scowled over at the woman called Kadi.

No one said anything, but the silence said enough.

Everyone knew Kadi was young enough to Ozzy and Kiv’s sister. His little sister, too. But that was just how it always went, and nobody was really willing to comment on it much. Kadi was this year’s model. She’d hit her shelf life in a couple of years, and then there'd be a new one. It had been like that as far back as Ozzy could remember, to the point that he couldn’t even remember the name of his biological mother. She’d been phased out before he learned to walk.

“Hey, um,” Bitsy cleared her throat, “So, what exactly is going on here?”

“Oh? And who is this?” His father, Wirt, turned to Bitsy curiously, “A gnome? Why is there a gnome here?”

Wirt turned to Kiv, eyebrow perked.

“How should I know?” Kiv shrugged in response, “She was with Ozzy.”

“Um, I’m Bitsy---err, Lizbit Shortguard,” Bitsy cleared her throat, apparently feeling the need to introduce herself formally.

Ozzy scowled, slightly annoyed by this detail.

“I think she’s Ozzy’s apprentice,” Kiv added with another shrug, “She knows a little bit about Alchemy.”

“A little bit?” Ozzy scoffed, “She’s---”

“Yeah, whatever,” Wirt waved a hand dismissively, “We can discuss it over dinner.”

“Dinner?” Ozzy scoffed, shaking his head, “Yeah, no way am I gonna---”

A few minutes of getting shoved along later, Ozzy found himself sitting at the table, leaning his chin on his hand and looking ready to die. Beside him, Bitsy furrowed her brow at him in concern, but said nothing. Ozzy wasn’t exactly a religious guy. But at that moment he would’ve dedicated his life to the Light, the Loa, Elune, or the Old Gods even, if it got him out of there. 

“So, Miss Shortguard, was it?” Wirt spoke up from across the table.

“Oh, um, yes?” Bitsy looked over at him.

“You’re Ozzy’s assistant, is that it?”

“Um, no,” Bitsy furrowed her brow, glancing over at Ozzy simmering in the seat beside her.

“Well, then, what exactly is the nature of your relationship to my son?” Wirt perked an eyebrow.

“Servant?” Kadi suggested.

“Serv…” Ozzy growled, suddenly tempted by the idea of drawing the gun from his hip.

Bitsy seemed to register this, somehow, because her hand set over his under the table when he moved for the holster. Grumbling slightly, he moved his hand back to rest on his lap, trying to make himself content with just glaring daggers across the table.

“Nothing like that,” Bitsy responded politely towards Wirt, who was still watching her curiously.

“Well, what then?” He asked again.

“We’re partners,” Bitsy responded, innocent as could be.

Unfortunately for her, none of the four goblins at the table were anything close to innocent. Ozzy just glanced aside, blushing slightly at the easily-misunderstood wording. Kiv just snorted in amusement, muttering something along the lines of “called it” to himself. Kadi brought a manicured hand up to cover her bright red lips, feigning a gesture of surprise. Wirt just began to laugh. Loudly.

The assortment of reactions struck Bitsy with realization of her poor wording, and her cheeks turned pink.

“Er, no no,” She began quickly, “Not like---”

“What an amusing idea!” Wirt cut her off, still chuckling, “You poor, silly girl!”

“I… excuse me?” Bitsy furrowed her brow.

“Lemme tell you something for your own good, gnome” Wirt said, his tone becoming serious, “My son ain’t interested in you, he’s playing with you. Just havin’ some fun before he gets married.”

“...M-Married?” Bitsy repeated, glancing over towards Ozzy.

“Oh, he didn’t tell you?” Wirt chuckled, even as both Kadi and Kiv started to look a bit uncomfortable, “We made an agreement.”

“What agreement?” Bitsy asked, flicking her blue eyes over towards Wirt.

“When he turned sixteen, Ozmyveld got the silly idea that he wanted to travel the world. He was awfully persistent about it,” Wirt began, “But, of course, traveling isn’t free, and you need resources to sustain you. The family would have to pay for it, so it’s only fair the family got something in return, no?”

Ozzy furrowed his brow, barely remembering what it was he’d agreed to back then. He’d glossed over the details, too impatient to sit and listen to all the terms, too eager to go somewhere free of his family’s influence. The life of a scion just wasn’t for him. He’d never intended to fulfill that agreement anyway, never having planned to return to Booty Bay and find out.

“So a deal was made,” Wirt continued, “Ozmyveld could go wherever he liked, and retain access to the family’s bank accounts. But in return, he agreed that when he came back from his travels, he’d marry a girl of my choosing. One with benefits for the family.”

Wirt then grinned, glancing his yellowed eyes over towards Ozzy. Meanwhile, Kiv and Kadi awkwardly got to eating their dinner in silence, keeping themselves as uninvolved with the conversations as possible.

“And look at that,” Wirt gestured to Ozzy, “After just over a decade, here he is at last.”

“Yeah, well, don’t get too comfortable with it,” Ozzy cleared his throat, finally starting to have some recollection of the agreement in question, “I ain’t stayin’ here.”

“But we had a deal---”

“I guess I lied,” Ozzy shrugged, moving to stand up.

“If you leave this house, Ozmyveld, then I’m cutting you off from the family accounts,” He threatened, “And you’ll be stricken from your inheritance, too.”

This was enough to give him pause. After all, that was a lot of money to just pass up. But then he glanced over at Bitsy, who hesitantly got up from her seat as well. And when he looked at her, he decided--to his own surprise--that he loved her a bit more than he loved money.

“Disown me then,” He shrugged nonchalantly, taking Bitsy by the arm and pulling her toward the exit, leaving the three other goblins speechless in their wake.


	16. Mother

Bitsy perked an eyebrow curiously at the new-drawn card, Armor Vender. It was a piddling 1-cost minion again, another with 1 attack. It did have 3 health, sure, but the appeal was its ability. Grant 4 armor to all players. A handy card for a group game, though not as applicable here. Still, 4 armor was 4 armor, so why not? True that he’d get it too, but it was nothing her Hooked Scimitar couldn’t counteract in this same turn.

“Okay, I believe I have my plan,” Bitsy nodded, reaching towards her mana counters, “Phase one…”

“Oh boy, the phases again…” Ozzy grinned.

Bitsy just chuckled in response and flipped a single mana counter. Then she set Armor Vender onto the table.

“A 1-attack, 3-health minion with Battlecry,” She explained, “We both gain 4 armor.”

“Both?” Ozzy sat up a little, perking an eyebrow, “Like, me too?”

“Yes, that would be implied by the word ‘both,’” Bitsy chuckled, setting four armor counters next to her health pool.

“Huh…” Ozzy furrowed his brow, before doing the same.

“I’ve now played a card, so Combo is activated on my Hooked Scimitar, and it gains an additional 2 damage. So now it deals a total of 4 damage.”

“Oh yeah?” Ozzy smirked, “You gonna attack?”

Bitsy perked an eyebrow, not liking that knowing glint in his eyes. But she supposed there would be no way to find out what he was planning without going ahead.

“Yes,” She nodded, “I will attack you directly for 4 damage.”

“You sure about that?” Ozzy asked, slowly starting to grin.

“Yes,” Bitsy nodded again.

“A’right then, my Secret activates before your attack hits,” He chuckled, flipping the face-down card in question.

“Ah, yes, of course,” She sighed, “The Secret. Which is…?”

“Explosive Trap,” He smiled.

“Why am I not surprised?” Bitsy rolled her eyes in response, “What’s it do?”

“2 damage to all enemies,” He smiled, “Including players.”

“Ah,” Bitsy frowned.

She moved two of her armor tokens away, as well as set a 2-damage counter onto Armor Vender. Elven Archer, on the other hand, wasn’t so lucky, and made its way to the discard pile.

“Well, that didn’t go as planned,” Bitsy sighed, setting her Hooked Scimitar into the discard pile as well, now that its last durability was spent.

“Long game,” Ozzy quipped with a grin, to which Bitsy just shook her head.

Glancing back at the cards in her hand, she tried to piece together a way to salvage this turn. She still had seven mana left. She considered using her hero power to get a Wicked Knife, but then one card caught her eye. Eaglehorn Bow. The effect was more or less useless, but it had 2 durability and 3 damage. Considering he only had 10 health, it would be very useful, and it was more or less assured that she could get 6 damage from the card in the next two turns. Therefore, it was cost-effective.

“Um, Phase 2. I’ll replace the Hooked Scimitar with this,” Bitsy said as she set the card onto the table, “Eaglehorn Bow.”

“I was wonderin’ where that was,” Ozzy chuckled, “That’s the one you took back with Hallucinate, eh?”

“Correct,” Bitsy nodded, flipping three mana tokens.

Three mana left. She glanced at her cards once more. All she had now was Sap and Counterfeit Coin. Plus the real Coin. After a moment of hesitation, she decided to flip two more mana tokens, setting Sap onto the table.

“Phase three,” She said quickly, “Return Stonetusk Boar to your hand.”

“Again?” Ozzy furrowed his brow, picking up the card, “Jeez, you really hate that card, eh?”

Bitsy just hummed and set Sap into her discard pile. Maybe it had been a little hasty to use Sap, but she had no choice. At least she’d be able to do some damage with her Armor Vender and Eaglehorn Bow next turn.

“Alright, I believe that’s my turn,” She nodded slowly, glancing over the table.

“Guessin’ that didn’t quite go to plan?” Ozzy perked an eyebrow.

Bitsy just waved a hand dismissively, and he chuckled in response before drawing his card.

* * *

Bitsy frowned, taking a small sip from her drink. The same one she’d been nursing all night. In contrast, beside her, Ozzy finished what was his seventh drink. At least, if the empty glasses and bottles around him on the bar were to be believed.

“Sho much money…” He mumbled unhappily, clumsily fishing a few more coins from his pocket and slapping them onto the bar.

The bartender gave him a wary glance before shrugging and scooping up the coins, setting a fresh drink in front of the clearly-drunk goblin. Bitsy scowled at the bartender momentarily, before glancing over at Ozzy in concern as he began to sip his eighth drink.

“Are you alright?” She asked slowly.

“Yesh,” Ozzy slurred in response, “I’m… p-perfect. I mean, hey! I’m gonna get dishowned! Woo...”

“You don’t have to get disowned,” Bitsy frowned again, setting her own drink onto the bartop.

“What’re you talkin’ about, Shortguard?” Ozzy grumbled, pausing to hiccup, “Yesh, I do...”

“No you don’t,” She sighed, “And I would prefer if you didn’t make such a monumental decision because of… well, because of me.”

“E-Eh?” Ozzy looked over in surprise.

She sighed again, glancing away.

“I know you’re only doing this because you think I can’t run the Shortshop alone, but---”

Ozzy cut her off by laughing.

“It ain’t about the… the sh-ship,” He hiccuped again, “Er, shop.”

At this, Bitsy perked a pink eyebrow curiously. Ozzy just shrugged in response, not explaining further, and then he began to sip his drink again. Seeing he wouldn’t get a straight answer from him, if he could even coherently explain it, she sighed and leaned forward onto the bar.

“I’m really sorry I made you come here,” She said quietly.

“It’sh… fine,” Ozzy shrugged, setting down the now-empty eighth cup.

He signalled to the bartender again, slapping a few more coins against the bartop.

“Should you really be drinking so much?” Bitsy asked, furrowing her brow.

“Why not?” Ozzy shrugged, snatching up his ninth drink, “Who caresh? I’m poor!”

“Don’t seem very poor to me,” The bartender quipped, depositing his latest set of coins into the till.

“Ah, what would you know, Shkindle?” Ozzy scowled at him, “You’re poor too!”

“Not anymore, thanks to you,” The bartender, Skindle, perked an eyebrow.

“Whatever,” Ozzy sighed, just sipping his drink.

Bitsy glanced aside quietly.

“...I know family can be… difficult,” She sighed, “My mother is always trying to force me to get married, too.”

“Eh?” Ozzy glanced over, “The… quilt one?”

“Yes,” Bitsy blushed slightly, “She rather likes humans.”

“Sho you shaid,” He nodded clumsily.

“She’s actually always trying to play matchmaker for me, always trying to set me up with humans, too,” Bitsy chuckled, picking up her own drink, “She’ll send me letters about these different humans she wants me to marry. I know she means well, but… well, it’s a little exasperating.”

She paused to sip the straw of her drink, then looked over at Ozzy again.

“She lives in Stormwind, so she meets a lot of humans,” She explained quickly. 

“...I could never…” Ozzy shrugged, spilling his drink slightly, “...marry a… human.”

“Hm?” Bitsy perked an eyebrow, “Why not? I thought humans and goblins got along fairly well?”

“Humansh are… too tall, y’know?” Ozzy chuckled, “Everybody’sh too tall…”

He seemed to freeze for a moment, then suddenly shrugged again. More of his drink spilled onto the bar, which Skindle quickly wiped up with an annoyed scowl.

“Most races are too tall,” Bitsy agreed, “Not all of them, though.”

“You talkin’ about... vulpera?” Ozzy snorted in amusement.

“Huh? Er, no...” Bitsy furrowed her brow, “I just meant… you know…”

“Know what?” Ozzy perked an eyebrow, clearly too drunk to catch any subtlety.

“Um, you know, gnomes… and goblins,” She shrugged in response, blushing slightly, “Our races are very, um… similar. In height. Er, among… other things.”

“Huh, yeah,” Ozzy nodded, sounding like he just learned a mildly-interesting piece of trivia.

A beat passed, wherein Bitsy blushed uncomfortably, and Ozzy just tiredly leaned onto the bar. He was the one that broke the silence a moment later.

“But I betcha…” He glanced over at Bitsy, leaning his chin forward onto his hand, “...betcha would never… marry a goblin, though, eh?”

Bitsy’s face went bright red in response, and she quickly looked away. Something told her that this was probably not something he would’ve asked if he was sober. That only made it even more embarrassing to hear, and Bitsy could feel that even her ears were getting warm.

She cleared her throat, taking a deep and unsteady breath to calm herself down.

“W-Well,” She began nervously, unwilling to look over towards Ozzy, “I, um… I s-suppose…”

She hesitated a moment. Would she marry a goblin, she asked herself. If she had for some reason asked herself such a thing one year ago, her answer would’ve been ‘no’ without one second of hesitation. But now? Well, now the answer was… complicated.

Would she marry any random goblin? No, certainly not. But would she marry a certain specific goblin? Say, the one sitting beside her? Well, then that was a different story entirely…

“I-I think…” Bitsy cleared her throat, swallowing nervously, “I think, I w-would.”

A beat passed. Ozzy didn’t say anything. But across the bar from her, Skindle glanced at her in amusement, waggling his eyebrows.

“B-But it would have to be the right goblin,” She blurted quickly, face heating up even further.

Still, Ozzy didn’t respond. Likely too drunk to understand, she noted to herself in dismay. Biting her lip for a moment, Bitsy took a deep breath before amending her statement once more.

“B-But it w-would have to b-be… y-you,” She sputtered nervously, bringing her hands up to cover her face in embarrassment.

Bitsy was deafened for a moment, unable to hear anything over the pounding of her heart. But when he still didn’t respond, her nervousness quickly changed to concern. She spun around in her seat to face him and froze. 

Ozzy was still leaning against his hand, though now doing so unconsciously. Most likely he blacked out from his drinking a few minutes prior, as the nine drinks caught up with him at last.

Bitsy sighed quietly, cheeks still burning, and picked up her drink. Taking a sip from the pineapple, she decided she would finish her drink before attempting to stir him back to consciousness.

After all, she definitely needed a moment alone with her thoughts.


	17. The Gift

Ozzy’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. He couldn’t have drawn a better card. King of Beasts. It was a Beast minion, meaning it would gain a bonus from both Spirit of the Lynx and Timber Wolf, so it would bump its attack up from 2 to 4. But that wasn’t where it stopped. Because King of Beasts also gained 1 attack for every other Beast he controlled. And if he played Stonetusk Boar again, then it would gain 1 for that as well as 1 for Timber Wolf, another Beast. Meaning it would come out of the gate with 6 attack and 7 health.

And the best part on top of that? It had Taunt, meaning Bitsy couldn’t attack him directly nor any of his other minions. Sure, she could’ve used Sap on it to remove it for a turn. But he’d already seen her use both of the copies in her deck now. So her only choice would be to throw her minions at him in vain or hope to draw the right spell.

“Why are you smiling like that?” Bitsy asked suspiciously.

“No reason,” Ozzy shrugged, not even trying to hide his triumphant grin.

“Hmm… well, just play your turn already,” She furrowed her brow, looking amused.

“With pleasure,” He chuckled, going and flipping a single mana token, “So, first, I’m gonna---”

“Stonetusk Boar,” Bitsy nodded, propping her chin up on the back of her hand, “Can’t say I didn’t see that coming.”

Ozzy just chuckled again and set the Stonetusk Boar onto the table. Then, after a quick glance at his hand, he reached over and flipped six of his mana counters, noting that he had two of them left to work with.

“I’m gonna summon King of Beasts,” He explained, unable to resist grinning again, “It has 2 attack and 6 defense. But thanks to Spirit of the Lynx and Timber Wolf, it becomes 4-attack.”

“Awfully expensive for a 2-attack minion?” Bitsy glanced down at the card.

“Well, that’s ‘cause you ain’t heard the effect yet,” Ozzy chuckled, tapping King of Beasts, “It gains 1 attack for each other Beast I control. So it’s a 6-attack, actually.”

“Ah,” Bitsy nodded, frowning and glancing down at her hand a moment.

“That ain’t all,” Ozzy grinned, causing her to glance back up with a perked pink eyebrow.

“What do you mean?” She asked cautiously.

“Well, y’see, Miss Shortguard,” Ozzy leaned his arm on the table, “It’s also got Taunt.”

At this, Bitsy bit her lip, and Ozzy only grinned more.

“No matter,” Bitsy said quickly, clearing her throat and waving a hand dismissively.

Ozzy just smirked in response, reaching over and flipping his last two mana tokens.

“Steady Shot,” He gestured towards her, “2 damage to you directly.”

Bitsy nodded tersely, moving to take away a pair of health counters.

“I ain’t done yet,” Ozzy chuckled, “Y’know, ‘cause I’m also gonna attack with my Stonetusk Boar---it has Charge, remember---for another 3 damage, and then Timber Wolf for another 2. So actually 7 damage in total.”

Bitsy took 7 counters from her health pool.

“Remind me, what’cha at now?” Ozzy perked an eyebrow, nodding towards her health pool.

“13,” Bitsy frowned.

“Sounds like this game is almost over,” Ozzy smiled.

“You mean because you have 6 health left?” Bitsy perked an eyebrow.

“I told you from the start, Bitsy,” Ozzy shrugged nonchalantly, “I’m gonna win.”

“We’ll see about that,” Bitsy nodded back, before reaching to draw her card.

* * *

Ozzy furrowed his brow, pausing to tap the flat head of his gyromatic micro-adjuster against his chin. 

At this point, he was starting to think this gun was beyond saving. Something just kept locking up the trigger mechanism, making it effectively a one-and-done type of gun. The trigger would stick like it was wedged on something if you pressed it down to fire. He’d already taken it apart twice, and confirmed there was nothing in the way. He’d oiled it and cleaned it, too. He’d even tried replacing the trigger itself. Nothing worked, and it left him baffled.

Still, he had to find a solution. 

Or else the Shortshop would stop getting repair orders, and last he checked, the budget was already barely teetering in the black. Losing repair work would definitely be enough to put the store under. And so here he was, still working at this stupid stuck trigger a whole week later.

Ozzy furrowed his brow, leaning back and stretching. He’d been stuck bent over this little workstation for days, and it was killing his back. As he stretched his arms out, his elbow banged into a stack of crates beside him. Pausing to scowl at the stack of boxes, he reached over and rubbed his sore elbow grumpily. 

He didn’t particularly care for having to work in the storage closet, but there wasn’t really an alternative. There was no room on the counter, where Bitsy was already dealing with the customers. And then there was too much paperwork in the office that could’ve been ruined by errant oil or grease. And then putting him in the alchemy lab was… well, an explosion waiting to happen. So, the storage closet.

“Stupid boxes,” Ozzy grumbled, intentionally elbowing the crates lightly.

They wobbled in response. Then a box slid forward from the top, cracking him in the head.

“Ow. Okay, I probably deserved that...” He mumbled, rubbing his head, “Jeez, what was in that thing? A bowling ball?”

Then he looked over towards the box and perked a black eyebrow curiously. The box had slid open from the impact onto the floor, and its contents half-spilled out beside it. To his surprise, it wasn’t, in fact, a bowling ball. It was a gun.

“Hm? What’s this thing doin’ hidden away in here?” He muttered to himself.

Shimmying out of his tightly-squeezed chair, he moved over towards the box. Kneeling beside it, he pulled the gun out of the opened box the rest of the way. Then he held it in his hands and examined it curiously. It was weighty, but not too heavy. Properly sized for a goblin. Or a gnome, he reminded himself.

It was probably Bitsy’s gun, he concluded. It wasn’t likely a customer would bring in a gun of such poor-quality to get repaired, and it definitely wasn’t something worthy of being put for sale. So it wasn’t just storage for spare stock, either.

Running his hands over the barrel, Ozzy noted some little engraved designs in the unsanded wooden stock. Some of the engravings were filled with a gold filigree. They were pretty clumsily done, but still looked nice enough. Nicer than just plain wood, at least.

“Hmm, I wonder if she’s buildin’ this one by herself?” He perked an eyebrow.

It would make sense. Afterall, it was clearly half-completed. But the more he looked at it, the more he furrowed his brow. Some of the parts--even the simplest parts--were… askew, to say the least.

“Maybe I could just, uh, tweak it a little…” He mumbled, going back to his workstation.

He figured she wouldn’t mind if he fixed some of the internal rig. She’d clearly put a lot of work into this thing, after all. Why not just ensure that it didn’t blow up in her face? And, besides, if he did it right, she probably wouldn’t even know he’d done anything at all.

Besides, he could use a little break from that frustrating stuck trigger, he noted to himself as he pushed the broken gun aside. And this one wouldn’t take long to fix at all.

And it didn’t take long, indeed, he noted when he sat back about an hour later. It actually wasn’t anywhere near as compromised as he had initially thought. Everything was a little bit off, a little bit askew. But because everything was tweaked that way, it all still functioned properly. In the end, all he really had to change was add a little oil and clean filigree from a few of the parts.

It was actually kind of a shame that she wouldn’t know he’d looked at her work, Ozzy thought to himself as he retrieved the gun’s unmarked box. He had more than a few compliments to offer on her work. She’d grown a lot since he first taught her the basics a few months back, and he was proud of her. A few more months, and she might even surpass him.

As Ozzy was halfway through absent-mindedly placing the gun back into the box, the door to the storage closet opened.

“Ozzy, how are you doing with that….” Bitsy began, trailing off as her blue eyes locked onto the gun he was holding.

“Um--” Ozzy began, but that was all he was able to get out before the door promptly shut.

He furrowed his brow in confusion. But before he could even stand up, the door opened again. Bitsy frowned at him, brow furrowed and cheeks flushed.

“Why are you… I mean, where did you…” She mumbled, looking a bit flustered.

“It fell,” Ozzy explained, pointing up towards the stack of crates beside him.

“O-Oh…” Bitsy frowned again.

A moment of silence.

“You weren’t supposed to see it yet,” She continued hesitantly, glancing aside.

“Eh?” Ozzy furrowed a brow, “Oh, you mean because it ain’t done?”

Bitsy just nodded glumly.

“Uh, well, you made it, right?” He asked, to which she nodded again, “Pretty good progress, so far.”

At this, her blue eyes flicked up towards him again.

“R-Really?” Her face flushed more, eyes hopeful.

Ozzy found himself also blushing in return, that one optimistic expression of hers affecting him strangely, as it always did.

“Yeah,” He cleared his throat, “It’s kinda weird, but it seemed like it all checked out. So, uh, good job.”

“Do you… like it?” She asked quietly, scuffing her shoe against the doorway.

“Yeah, I do,” He nodded, glancing down at the gun thoughtfully, “It’s really… unique.”

A beat passed.

“...Kinda like you,” He added quickly, both of their faces growing more flushed at his words.

Another beat passed.

“I was making it for… um, for you,” Bitsy confessed nervously, her voice trembling slightly.

“Eh?” Ozzy rose his eyebrows in surprise, “For me? Why?”

Bitsy went to respond but there came a jingle from the doorbell. Another customer. She frowned as she heard this, lingering in the doorway a moment, before hurrying back to the front room. Ozzy, meanwhile, glanced down at the half-constructed gun again. 

And slowly, a smile formed on his lips.


	18. The Buzz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Made a slight math error in the last chapter! Ozzy has 6 health left, not 8! Bitsy still has 13, though! Sorry for the mixup!

Bitsy furrowed her brow unhappily, looking at the board state. This… definitely wasn’t a good turn of events, this last round. She only had a Counterfeit Coin in her hand, effectively nothing. She had one minion, on its last leg, that only dealt a single point of damage. She did have a decent weapon, but what good was that when he had that behemoth with Taunt in the way?

Pursing her lips and hoping for a miracle, she drew the card from her deck. She was less than pleased to see it was SI:7 Agent. A decent mid-game minion, costing three with equivalent attack and defense. It did have a rather useful Combo ability, which could deal 2 damage to any target. But it would only apply if she played something else first. And what was she going to play? Counterfeit Coin? That would be useless, considering she already had nine mana to work with.

But, then again, it still would count towards a Combo.

But even if she were to do all that, would it really make a difference? She had nothing with Taunt to guard her, and no way to recover health. And he had the means to do 14 damage on the board alone, ignoring whatever he might have hidden away in his hand. Which was a rather bad thing, seeing as she had only 13 health left.

Well, either way, she supposed it was the best she could do.

“I’ll play Counterfeit Coin,” She said flatly, setting the card onto the table, “It costs nothing, and I gain an additional mana. So now I have ten.”

“Right…?” Ozzy perked an eyebrow, glancing at the one newly-drawn card in her hand suspiciously.

“Relax, it’s hardly what you think it is,” She chuckled as she set a tenth mana token down.

“Hmm, how do you know what I think it is?” He responded with a smirk.

“I can always tell what you’re thinking,” Bitsy smiled back.

“Oh yeah?” Ozzy grinned, leaning forward onto the table, “So what am I thinking now?”

Bitsy just rolled her eyes in amusement, reaching over and flipping three mana counters. Then she set SI:7 Agent onto the table. Ozzy rose his eyebrows in surprise upon seeing it.

“You’re thinking it wasn’t what you expected,” Bitsy chuckled, “Anyway, because I already played a card this turn, Combo is activated, and I can deal 2 damage.”

“To my health?” Ozzy asked as he moved his hand towards his health pool.

He did only have that small amount of health left, and it was tempting to just go for blood. But she supposed if there was any slim chance left that she could manage to win, it would be by getting through King of Beasts first.

“No,” She shook her head, pigtails bobbing, “I’ll set 2 damage onto King of Beasts.”

“Oh, really? Huh…”

Ozzy shrugged and set a 2-damage counter onto King of Beasts. It still had 5 health left.

“I’ll end my turn here,” Bitsy frowned.

“No phase three, eh?” Ozzy quirked an eyebrow, “Not gonna risk attacking?”

“Certainly not,” Bitsy chuckled.

Ozzy just nodded in response and reached to draw his---likely final---card.

* * *

Bitsy yawned tiredly, reaching over onto her desk and picking up her lukewarm cup of coffee. She sipped it quietly, closing her eyes for a moment. A loud crackle of static caused her to sit up quickly and snap her eyes open, causing some of the coffee to spill onto her lap. Grumbling to herself, she set the mug down onto the desk again and began to wipe at her pant leg.

After going and retrieving one of her clean work rags, using it to dry off her leg, she returned back to her desk. Retaking her seat, her eyes slowly drifted up towards the horometer on the wall. It would be sunrise soon, she noted silently. Good, she thought. It was almost time.

Spinning in her chair, she turned to face the portable buzzbox sitting on top of her desk. She rose the volume slightly, the sound of static crackling through the speakers. Her eyes flicked up towards the dials, making sure it was set to the right frequency.

“Ah, wait, no no, not 1519.12…” She muttered to herself, adjusting the dials.

A sound began to crackle through the speakers as she tried to set it to the proper Stormwind frequency. At this, she paused, perking an eyebrow.

“---the target dead?” A male voice rasped.

“Neutralized, as ordered,” A female voice answered.

“Good work. I’ll inform the Spymaster,” The male voice responded, “In the meantime---”

Bitsy hastily adjusted the dials, having a feeling that was probably not something she wanted to get caught up in. Best to just pretend she didn’t even hear that, she told herself. She continued to adjust the dials slightly until they hit the desired number: 1519.00, the buzz number for Stormwind City. She then tweaked the individual call sign, adding 5472-746.

Only silence greeted her. She nervously glanced up to the horometer again. But then a whirring frequency came from the speakers, and she sat up excitedly.

“...Lizbet?” A woman’s voice crackled through the speakers.

Bitsy leaned forward, quickly pushing the lever to enable her buzzbox.

“Mother?” She responded, “Can you hear me?”

“I can hear you,” Her mother answered, as the static began to die down.

“It’s been so long since we talked like this,” Bitsy commented, immediately regretting it.

“Well, maybe if you came to visit me more often…” Her mother chided.

“You know it’s a long trip from Gadgetzan to Stormwind, mother,” Bitsy sighed, “Expensive, too.”

“What? Am I not worth it?” Her mother scoffed.

“You know that isn’t what I meant,” Bitsy frowned, leaning onto the desk, “It’s just that… well, coin is a bit tight right now. But hunting season is starting soon, so business should pick up---”

“Business?” Her mother interrupted, “What business?”

“Oh! I completely forgot to tell you!” Bitsy smiled, scooting in her chair, “I own a store now! An engineering store!”

“Already? But you said you had a two-year plan,” Her mother pointed out, “You said you were going to work at that factory---”

“Yes, but I got, um… an investor,” Bitsy smiled, recalling that day.

“Investor?” Her mother asked suspiciously, “...What kind of investor? Not one of those shady gangs, right? Because if you owe money to those---”

“Wait, even you know about the gangs?” Bitsy sat up quickly, “But you haven’t lived here for decades!”

“Oh, honestly, Bitsy,” Her mother chuckled in response, “Everybody knows about the gangs in Gadgetzan.”

‘I… huh…” Bitsy sat back in her seat, brow furrowed, “How did I never notice it, then…?”

“Oh, Bitsy, dear, you’ve always been a little… head in the clouds,” Her mother explained, “You’re already a hundred years old, and still so very like a child…”

“Mother,” Bitsy whined in response, having heard that similar phrase for decades.

“And you still didn’t answer me,” Her mother reminded, “About the money.”

“I told you, an investment,” Bitsy answered, suddenly feeling a bit guarded.

“From who?”

“A friend,” She responded cautiously.

“What friend?” Her mother pressed on.

“...Does it matter?” Bitsy asked, glancing aside grumpily.

“Yes.”

Bitsy sighed dramatically, already feeling like a teenager again. Her mother always had a great ability to nag and needle her, and probably always would. No matter if she was twelve years old, or two-hundred. She supposed she might as well just get it over with, then.

“My friend Ozzy was---” She began but was quickly cut off.

“Ozzy? That sounds like a man’s name!” Her mother squealed excitedly, her high pitch making Bitsy wince as the frequency screeched from the speakers, “It is a man’s name, right?”

“Yes, but---”

“A human man’s too, right? Like Oswin?” Her mother interrupted excitedly, “Or Oswald? Ooh, or Oscar?”

“No, it’s---”

“Oswick?”

“No, Oz---”

“Osborn?”

“No, mother. Ozm--”

“Osman?”

“Mother, please!” Bitsy huffed, “His name is Ozmyveld.”

There was a moment of silence, no sound except the buzzbox crackling and the horometer on the wall ticking.

“...That doesn’t sound human,” Her mother finally declared.

Bitsy bit her lip, quickly realizing she wasn’t prepared to try and explain her… close friendship… with a goblin, to her mother. After all, gnomes and goblins weren’t… particularly friendly, in most instances.

“So he’s a gnome then,” Her mother concluded, “I suppose that’s not so bad---”

“Goblin,” Bitsy mumbled quickly.

“What?”

“Goblin,” She repeated quickly, desperately hoping the buzzbox would suddenly decide to randomly lose the signal.

It didn’t, though, of course. Accursed gnomish engineering and its incessant reliability.

“...He’s still a man, right?” Her mother asked after a moment.

“I--huh?” Bitsy blinked, “Err, yes...?”

“So when’s the wedding?”

“The we--what?” Bitsy’s eyes widened, as her face grew warm, “B-But---”

“What?” Her mother scoffed, “You could do worse than a goblin. I’m honestly just glad it isn’t one of those undead men. You know I want grandchildren!”

“Mother!” Bitsy whined, pausing to cover her face with her hands in embarrassment.

“Is he handsome? I don’t want ugly grandchildren,” Her mother continued, “Though I suppose I’d love them either way.”

“Mother, th-that is… Ozzy and I are just…” Bitsy glanced aside between her fingers, not sure what to even finish that sentence with.

“Do you love him?”

Bitsy froze, face turning as pink as her hair.

“W-Well, I-I…” She stammered, pressing her hands firmly against her burning cheeks.

“Oh, it’s a simple question, Lizbit,” Her mother scoffed.

Bitsy bit her lip a moment before lowering her hands.

“I… I do,” She admitted, barely above a whisper, “I love him.”

A beat passed.

“Obviously,” Her mother chuckled, “....So, again, when’s the wedding?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact! 1519 is the Zone ID for Stormwind City! :)


	19. Brothers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not beta’d. Could have typos.

Ozzy confidently drew his card. So confidently, in fact, that he didn’t really even care what it was. A quick glance at it anyway revealed it was Oasis Snapjaw. Ah, good, he thought. Another beast. It cost four mana, but he had nothing else to do with his total of nine, so might as well, right?

“I’ll play Oasis Snapjaw,” He announced as he flipped four mana tokens, “It has 2 attack, but it can’t attack this turn, so that doesn’t really matter.”

“Mmhm,” Bitsy nodded tersely, frowning at the card.

Ozzy, meanwhile, glanced at his hand. Well, Gladiator’s Longbow was too expensive now. And Depth Charge would be counterproductive. Better to just get on with it, he thought to himself. No need to drag it out. After all, he hated playing against people who would do everything possible before delivering the killing blow. Sore winners, those types.

“A’right, enough putting it off,” Ozzy shrugged, leaning forward onto the table, “I’m gonna attack.”

“Oh, really? I’m shocked,” Bitsy rolled her eyes.

Ozzy perked an eyebrow at the mirthless comment but just shrugged again, moving King of Beasts forward.

“First I’ll attack for 7---”

“7?” Bitsy furrowed her brow, “But you said it does 6 damage.”

“Beast,” Ozzy reminded her as he tapped Oasis Snapjaw, “It gains 1 attack for every Beast.”

“Oh… right,” Bitsy frowned.

Then she moved over to her health pool, taking away 7 counters. Ozzy glanced at her counters. Only 6 left. An easy finish.

“Stonetusk Boar will hit you directly for 3,” He said as he moved the respective card forward.

Bitsy moved 3 more counters from her health pool. Only 3 left.

“2 more damage from Timber Wolf,” He nodded.

Bitsy removed 2 more counters. Ozzy grinned, seeing she had only 1 health counter left.

“You have nothing else that can attack,” Bitsy pointed out hopefully.

Ozzy went to inform her that he would simply deliver 2 direct damage with Steady Shot, which he could more than afford to do. But then he looked at that hopeful glimmer in her eyes, the one that always affected him strangely. And surprise, surprise. It affected him strangely.

“You, uh,” He cleared his throat, glancing aside, “You really wanna win, don’tcha?”

“Winning would be preferable,” Bitsy nodded in agreement.

Ozzy frowned.

Throughout this entire game, he’d been operating under the principle that if he won their game, he’d receive the answer he wanted. After all, why else would she have asked to play at all, if it wasn’t some kind of deciding factor? But maybe, it occurred to him, the answer that he wanted to receive wasn’t the answer she wanted to give him. That stung to consider, but it was a valid concern. And seeing how badly she wanted to win only made it more obvious that they were reaching for separate goals.

Ozzy sat back in his seat, suppressing a sigh, and resigned himself to his fate. After all, what was important here was her answer. And he intended to let her be the one to decide what it would be. Even if he hated it.

“Ugh, I can’t believe it,” He huffed in feigned -annoyance, “1 point. Just 1 point!”

“You did say it would come down to a single point,” Bitsy chuckled.

“Well, whatever, eh?” He shrugged, “Next turn, I’ll definitely finish it.”

“We’ll see,” Bitsy said as she reached for her deck, another hopeful smile on her lips.

Ozzy didn’t feel so confident as he had at the beginning of the turn, but he smiled back as if he was all the same.

* * *

Ozzy tapped his hand impatiently against the tabletop, glancing around the Road Warrior quickly. Ugh, where was that guy? He better not have decided to stand him up. Then again, knowing him, he most likely couldn’t resist the urge to come and decline his request in person.

Suddenly, there was a heavy thump from the other side of the table. Ozzy looked up, seeing a familiar pair of hobgoblins standing silently on either side of the chair across from him. And in the chair sat Kiv, expression one of fixed curiosity.

“I ain’t givin’ you any money,” Kiv announced outright, crossing his arms.

“Good to see you too,” Ozzy rolled his eyes, leaning forward onto the table.

“What’s this all for?” Kiv perked an eyebrow, “You better have a good excuse for makin’ me go through all this trouble, little brother.”

“So you have it, then?” Ozzy perked an eyebrow.

Kiv snorted, reaching into his coat pocket. He pulled out a little suede pouch, tossing it onto the tabletop. Ozzy reached for it and got his hand smacked.

“Tell me what this is about first,” Kiv squinted, “What’re you up to, Ozzy?”

Ozzy sighed, seeing he wouldn’t get away with this as easily as he had hoped.

“I need it for somethin’ important,” He explained in vague terms.

“For what?” Kiv perked an eyebrow, “Is this about that little engineering shop you bought for the gnome?”

“No, it’s for---wait, wait, wait,” Ozzy paused, furrowing his brow, “How do you know about that?”

“Oh, c’mon, Ozzy,” Kiv shrugged, “Y’think I haven’t been keepin’ tabs on you this whole time? What, did you really think dad would’ve just kept givin’ you money after ten years? He stopped after one year. I was the one payin’ for the rest of it.”

“So, what, you been spyin’ on me?” Ozzy scowled, “Keepin’ an eye on your investment?”

“You make it sound so harsh,” Kiv scoffed, “I’m just lookin’ out for my little brother. Makin’ sure you stay outta trouble.”

“Yeah, well, we ain’t really brothers anymore,” Ozzy glanced aside, “I ain’t a Fizzlefuse anymore, remember?”

“Ah, don’t worry about that,” Kiv sat back, pulling out a cigar, “Anyway, we done here? This place smells like a sweaty orc, and I wanna get back to my private zep before the gangs catch wind a guy like me is hangin’ around here.”

At this, Ozzy perked an eyebrow, glancing back at the suede pouch.

“Lemme see it first,” He demanded suspiciously.

Kiv gestured for him to go ahead, and Ozzy picked up the pouch. It was lighter than he had expected. But, then, he’d never seen any of this stuff in person before, either. Opening the pouch, he glanced down inside the bag, where a small green crystal greeted him.

Just to double check it was legitimate, Ozzy reached into the bag and touched his hand against the crystal. As soon as he did, he felt a tingling sensation spread up from his hand. Then everything around him grew more… intense, more noticeable. Sharper.

He quickly rescinded his hand and gave a pleased nod, before closing the bag.

“Satisfied?” Kiv perked an eyebrow smugly.

“Yeah, it’ll work,” Ozzy sniffed, feeling his senses dull slightly.

“Good,” Kiv nodded, “...For what?”

“A gift,” Ozzy explained as he slid the pouch into his coat pocket.

“A gift?!” Kiv’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, “Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to get that? And now you’re just gonna give it away?!”

“Lower your voice, wouldja?” Ozzy glanced around the inn, “Lotta goblins here would probably kill us both if they knew what this was.”

Kiv huffed, sitting back and crossing his arms angrily.

“You got a lotta nerve, little brother,” He muttered, “So who’s this gift for? The gnome?”

Ozzy blushed slightly and nodded.

“Jeez, you’re actually in love with her, ain’t ya?” Kiv sighed, pausing to puff his cigar, “And you think, what, givin’ her this will make her feel the same?”

“No...” Ozzy cleared his throat uncomfortably, “I think she already… well, I mean, maybe she… I dunno. Y’know?”

“Not really,” Kiv snorted, “But, hey, whatever makes you happy.”

Kiv paused to puff his cigar again.

“Still,” He shrugged, “Seems kinda like a waste. It’s sorta a one-time use, y’know?”

“Hm? Oh, I ain’t plannin’ to actually use it,” Ozzy responded.

“Eh? Then what’re you gonna do with it?” Kiv perked an eyebrow.

“I got an old buddy from the Auction House, Veex,” Ozzy explained, leaning forward onto the table, “He’s pretty good at jewelcrafting and stuff.”

“Right…?”

“Gonna have him get it fitted into a ring,” Ozzy smiled slightly, patting his pocket, “An, uh, engagement ring.”

“An engagement ring, huh?” Kiv snorted, “Well, ain’t that a surprise?”

Kiv paused to puff his cigar again, glancing up thoughtfully.

“So you went through all this trouble to avoid gettin’ married,” He chuckled, “Yet here you are either way.”

Ozzy just shrugged slightly in embarrassment, his face growing a bit warm.

“You sure she’s even gonna accept?” Kiv perked an eyebrow.

Ozzy shrugged again. In truth, he had no idea. After all, it wasn’t exactly like they were dating. They hadn’t even kissed. Well, unless you counted that one time. Which he didn’t wanna. Because nothing counts when you’re drunk.

But when he considered everything they’d gone through together over the last two years, it really made him wonder. They definitely were more than just business partners. They weren’t exactly just friends, either. After all, jeez, she’d even met his family. Wasn’t that a thing people did when they were dating?

But then, maybe Bitsy could never look at him that way. Maybe she had a thing against goblins, at least in that regard. He really had no idea. They didn’t exactly discuss things like that, at least as far as he could recall. So it was equally possible that she could either accept the ring or just laugh in his face. Who was to say?

“I dunno,” Ozzy shrugged, “But I gotta at least ask, right?”

Kiv just puffed his cigar in response, glancing towards Ozzy’s pocket. Then he shrugged and stood up.

“Well, I think I should get goin’ now,” He announced, “Gonna be a long flight back to Booty Bay.”

“Oh, right,” Ozzy nodded, “And, uh, thanks, Kiv.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” He waved a hand dismissively, “Just don’t make this a habit, huh?”

His eyes glanced back at Ozzy’s coat pocket again, and he shook his head.

“...Still,” Kiv sighed as he turned away and headed for the exit, “Seems to me like such a waste of good kaja’mite.”


	20. Nostalgia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not beta’d. Might have typos!

Bitsy went to draw her card, once more hoping for a miracle. She frankly had no idea how she’d managed to scrape by the last round, and was eager for her chance to turn things around.

Maybe her luck was turning around, she thought to herself. Especially after seeing the card she had drawn; Coerce. It allowed her to instantly destroy any damaged minion, and any minion at all if she had a Combo.

But she didn’t even need a Combo.

A broad smile forming on her lips, Bitsy quickly flipped over three of her mana tokens and set the card onto the table.

“I will use Coerce to destroy a damaged minion,” She beamed excitedly.

“Oh, uh, yeah?” Ozzy blinked, like his thoughts had been elsewhere, “Uh, which?”

“King of Beasts, of course,” She chuckled.

Ozzy nodded absent-mindedly, moving the card over to her discard pile. At this, Bitsy frowned. It was much less interesting to play such a momentous move and find that he was barely even paying attention.

“Ahem, well then, I will also attack,” She nodded, gesturing towards her Eaglehorn Bow, “3 damage to you directly.”

Ozzy moved 3 health counters from his rather diminutive pool. Only 3 health left. Noting her SI:7 Agent had 3 attack of his own, nevermind her Armor Vendor, a grin formed on her lips. She had won.

“And now I will attack with…” Bitsy began, glancing up at Ozzy.

She trailed off when she noticed how… miserable he looked.

Oh, right, she reminded herself. He’d gotten that silly idea that her answer was dependent upon his victory. She knew, of course, that this was untrue. But his crestfallen expression broke her heart to see. She frowned and glanced aside unhappily.

But then a thought occurred to her.

If he believed their Hearthstone game determined what her answer would be, then did that mean he believed she was playing towards a goal of declining? Bitsy frowned again. She knew the outcome had nothing to do with her answer. But he didn’t. No wonder he looked so defeated, she thought to herself.

“Ozzy…” She began quietly.

“You attack with what?” He asked guardedly.

Bitsy frowned, glancing down at her minions.

“With, um…” She glanced up again, “Armor Vendor. 1 damage.”

Ozzy nodded tersely, removing a single health token. He had 2 left. More than enough for her remaining minion to deal with.

“And now?” Ozzy perked an eyebrow, glancing towards the table.

Bitsy bit her lip, glancing aside. Hesitating. Lingering as long as possible, she noted. Then she realized why. She didn’t want to win. She just wanted him to be happy again.

As she lingered on silently, staring at the table, she realized something else.

Ozzy had ended his turn with five mana. And he hadn’t used his heroic ability. Steady Shot would’ve done 2 damage to her directly. He would’ve won right then. But he didn’t do it, and she was certain he didn’t simply forget. He willingly passed it up.

Her blue eyes glanced up, meeting his, and then she realized why. 

He was letting her decide.

“Now, I…” Bitsy began slowly, looking down at the table again.

Ozzy perked an eyebrow curiously, leaning forward slightly.

“Now, I will…” Bitsy sat back in her chair, a small smile forming on her lips, “...end my turn.”

* * *

Bitsy frowned from where she sat at the counter, glancing up at the horometer on the wall. It was still fairly early in the evening. But no customers had come since the afternoon. Leaning forward onto the countertop, she stared at the door and waited. Soon enough, someone was bound to come in, she told herself.

After several intense minutes of just staring at the front door, Bitsy finally sighed and broke her gaze from the door. She looked over beside her and nearly had a heart attack from surprise. Ozzy was now leaning onto the counter beside her, looking at her with an amused smirk.

“Seems like nobody’s comin’ in tonight,” He quipped, giving a cursory glance towards the door.

“They might,” Bitsy shrugged, blushing slightly as she wondered to herself just how long he’d been staring at her.

“Might as well just close up early,” Ozzy suggested, “Nobody’s gonna come.”

“Close up early?” Bitsy perked a pink eyebrow, “Who are you, and what have you done with Ozzy?”

“What?” Ozzy chuckled, “I’m just sayin’ nobody’s gonna come in. No need to just sit there and do nothin’ all night, eh? Why not take the night off?”

“I suppose you do make a persuasive point,” Bitsy tapped her chin, “It’s been quite some time since I’ve had the night off to simply enjoy myself. Maybe I could use a little break.”

“Exactly,” Ozzy nodded, grinning to himself about something or other.

Bitsy perked an eyebrow curiously, but didn’t comment. Just what was he up to, she wondered?

“So, uh, anyway,” He cleared his throat, gesturing towards her across the counter, “Since you’re free, now… why don’t we go do somethin’ together?”

Bitsy blushed slightly. Was he asking her on a date? No no, surely not. He probably just meant as friends. They did so rarely do things together outside of work, after all.

“Ah, is that why you’re so insistent on closing early?” Bitsy smiled, “But would that really be so different than just being here at the store together?”

Ozzy hummed a moment, tapping his fingers against the counter.

“Yeah, I think so,” He nodded, “Besides, I have somethin’ I wanna show you.”

“Oh?” Bitsy perked an eyebrow, her curiosity piqued, “Well, then, you know I can’t resist when you say that.”

After closing up the Shortshop, Bitsy let Ozzy lead her on from the shop. The streets of Gadgetzan gradually became more familiar as they walked, and then soon they were standing in front of Pestleplugg’s alchemy shop. Bitsy smiled, overcome with a wave of nostalgia. She would’ve loved to catch up with her old teacher. Alas, it seemed the old goblin had already closed up shop for the night.

“Ah, it’s closed,” She frowned, “That’s too bad. I would’ve liked to have seen Mister Pestleplugg.”

“I wouldn’t,” Ozzy snorted, “The guy might’ve liked you, but I think he had it out for me since the start.”

“Hm?” Bitsy looked over at him curiously, “But if you didn’t want to catch up with Mister Pestleplugg, what are we doing here?”

“I dunno,” Ozzy shrugged, glancing up at the store, “Guess I was feelin’ nostalgic. This was where we first met and all.”

“Oh, that’s right,” Bitsy nodded, looking up as well, “That was… almost three years ago now, wasn’t it? When we met?”

“Three years exactly, actually,” Ozzy smiled, “Today.”

“Huh? Really?” Bitsy blinked, looking over at him curiously, “You actually remember when I first became an apprentice?”

“How could I forget?” Ozzy grinned, “Pestleplugg made me drink your first potion.”

“Oh, that’s right!” Bitsy laughed, “And it turned your hair white!”

“I still have to dye it, y’know?” Ozzy perked an eyebrow, pausing to run a hand through his hair.

“Hmm, really?” Bitsy paused, tapping her chin, “I bet I could come up with an antidote for that.”

“That’d be useful, yeah,” Ozzy grinned.

“I think I already did, actually, now that I think about it,” Bitsy mumbled, glancing aside.

“Eh?” Ozzy perked an eyebrow.

“I felt bad so I came up with an antidote,” She admitted sheepishly, “But, um, I sort of… didn’t like you when we were apprentices. So I never gave you the recipe.”

“Eh, that’s fine,” Ozzy shrugged, looking up at the shop again, “I didn’t really like you either, for a while. You were kinda, y’know, an annoying know-it-all.”

He paused, glancing over at her with a grin.

“Well, were is past-tense, so actually…”

Bitsy reached over and pushed his shoulder playfully.

“...It does make me wonder, though,” Ozzy continued, his tone becoming serious, “What changed, exactly?”

“Huh?” Bitsy blinked, “What do you mean?”

“You said you didn’t like me, right?” He shrugged, “So, back when Fizzlefuse tested me… why did you help me?”

“Oh, you mean with the Catseye Potion?” Bitsy rose her eyebrows, “Oh, gosh, that was so long ago…”

Ozzy just glanced over at her, waiting patiently.

“Um, well, I suppose…” Bitsy tapped her chin, “I respected your determination. Even though you kept failing, you kept on trying. I found that really admirable.”

“Huh,” Ozzy glanced down, “Nobody’s ever called anything about me ‘admirable’ before. It feels… kinda weird.”

“Well, it’s true,” Bitsy shrugged, blushing slightly, “I really like that part of you. You’re fearless and unwilling to give in to anything.”

“I believe the word you’re lookin’ for there is stubborn, Shortguard,” Ozzy snorted.

“You’re that too,” Bitsy smiled, “But, from what I’ve seen, it seems like you’re only stubborn about good things. For good reasons. So that’s really just another good thing about you.”

“...Jeez, I ain’t used to gettin’ compliments,” Ozzy chuckled uncomfortably, “You’re gonna make me blush, sayin’ stuff like that.”

“Well, I can’t help it,” Bitsy mumbled, her face heating up more, “I-I really like you, Ozzy.”

Ozzy was quiet for a moment, and Bitsy had to glance over to him. She had an irrational need to check and make sure he hadn’t passed out again. But he hadn’t, of course. He was looking away, a slight blush on his cheeks.

“I, uh, like you too, Bitsy,” He cleared his throat, still staring off at something in the distance.

Bitsy blushed more, knowing she must look akin to a tomato by now, and rubbed her arm.

“...Has it really been three years since we met?” She mumbled, “It feels like so much longer.”

“Longer in a good way or a bad way?” Ozzy stole a glance over at her.

“A good way,” She smiled, “Definitely a good way.”

Ozzy glanced away again, blushing a bit more.

“Um, g-good,” He nodded.

Bitsy hesitated for a moment, continuing to rub her arm anxiously.

“It’s kind of funny,” She continued quietly, taking a tiny step towards him, “Three years ago, today, we we strangers and didn’t really like each other. But now…”

She trailed off slightly, too nervous to continue. Ozzy glanced back over at her after a moment.

“But now?” He asked quietly.

“Now, um,” She took another tiny step towards him, “N-Now…”

Bitsy hesitated again, drowning in the sound of her heartbeat, any words turned to silence in her head. She couldn’t manage to say it. She was far too nervous. But slowly she managed to detach her hand from her arm. Then she reached over, tentatively taking a hold of his hand with hers. She could only hope he understood the meaning behind her gesture.

And judging by the butterfly-inducing grin that formed on his lips, she was fairly certain he did.


	21. The Deal

Ozzy froze, taking a moment to register that it was his turn now. He glanced at Bitsy’s SI:7 Agent slowly. Then back at her. Then at the card again.

“You didn’t attack,” He stated the obvious.

“You didn’t use Steady Shot,” Bitsy responded.

Ozzy glanced up at her again. So she’d noticed, had she? Was she feeling cheated out of a proper game, then?

“Draw your card, Ozzy,” Bitsy said impatiently, gesturing towards his deck.

Ozzy looked at it, realizing he hadn’t even drawn yet. He quickly drew a card, giving it a cursory glance. Ah, Glaivezooka. One of his favorites. But it didn’t matter.

“Well, go on then,” Bitsy nodded, “Finish it.”

“...Why didn’t you?” He glanced at her minion again, “You could’ve won.”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Bitsy sighed, sitting back in her seat a bit, “But I already know the answer.”

At this, Ozzy perked an eyebrow, so she continued.

“You think my answer depends on whether you win or not, right?” She frowned, glancing aside, “That’s silly, of course. My decision is my own.”

Ozzy went to respond, but Bitsy kept going.

“Still, it seems you came to that conclusion as well,” She shrugged, “In your own roundabout way. You let me decide, right?”

Ozzy nodded.

“Well, I decided,” She shrugged again, “And it has nothing to do with the outcome of this game.”

“Then why not just---”

“You won fairly, Ozzy,” Bitsy nodded, “Just as you said you would.”

Ozzy glanced down at the table.

“Not technically,” He pointed out, “And ain’t you gnomes all about technicalities? And technically, we’re still playin’ right?”

Bitsy just rolled her eyes in response, giving him an amused smile.

“I told you at the beginning, Ozzy,” She said as she leaned forward, “I’ll give you my answer when we’re done. And if we’re technically not done, as you said…”

“Then I guess I should get goin’ now, eh?” Ozzy grinned.

Bitsy nodded affirmatively.

“A’right,” Ozzy nodded back, “Then I’m gonna play Glaivezooka.”

“Hm?” Bitsy perked a pink eyebrow curiously as Ozzy moved 2 mana tokens away.

“Glaivezooka’s Battlecry, I get to add 1 attack to any of my minions,” He shrugged.

“That minion being…?” Bitsy glanced at the table.

“Spirit of the Lynx,” Ozzy grinned.

“...Really, Ozzy?” Bitsy smirked in amusement.

“Yes,” Ozzy nodded, “So it has 1 attack now.”

“I hate that card,” Bitsy laughed, “It’s even worse than Stonetusk Boar!”

“Isn’t it?” Ozzy chuckled, before moving the card forward, “Anyway, I’m gonna attack you directly with it now.”

“Surprise, surprise,” Bitsy smiled, before removing her final mana token.

Then she turned to Ozzy and smiled again, this one warmer.

“Congratulations, Mister Fizzlefuse,” She bowed her head, “You win.”

“I told ya I would,” Ozzy grinned, leaning onto the table.

“Yes, yes,” Bitsy waved a hand dismissively, beginning to gather up her cards, “Don’t gloat.”

“So, now that the game is technically over,” Ozzy cleared his throat, glancing aside, “How about that answer, eh?”

Bitsy paused a moment before looking up with a mischievous smile.

“Best of three?”

Ozzy immediately scowled, and Bitsy’s smile quickly gave way to laughter.

“Sorry, sorry!” She chuckled, “I couldn’t resist.”

“Yeah, very funny,” Ozzy sighed wearily.

Then he reached across the table, setting his hand atop hers as she went to reach for a card. Bitsy’s blue eyes flicked up to his.

“But really, Bitsy,” He furrowed his brow, “What’s your answer?”

* * *

Ozzy was pretty sure he was dead. Or at least dying, if his erratic heartbeat was anything to go by. He glanced down at Bitsy’s hand, intertwined with his, unable to stop grinning like an idiot. He was grinning so much that his face hurt. He must’ve looked insane. But he couldn’t help it.

He was extraordinarily happy.

Even if this threw an arclight spanner into his carefully crafted plans. But not necessarily in a bad way. At least now he knew how she felt about him. So she wasn’t anti-goblin after all. That was good to know. But now he had the difficult task of at least trying to salvage his plan. He’d worked very hard on it, after all. And by that, it meant he spent all of that afternoon considering how he’d do it.

Having no idea where to start, though, he decided to just wing it. It couldn’t go that badly, right?

“H-Hey, y’know what goblins like even more than money?” He began nervously.

Bitsy just perked an eyebrow in response, confused about his random leap of conversation topics. Well, perfect. It was going swimmingly so far. Keep up the good work, Ozzy, he told himself.

“You, uh, ever heard of kaja’mite?” He looked at her, brow furrowed.

“Hm? Oh, yes, I’ve heard of it,” Bitsy blinked, “But what does that have to wi---”

“So whaddya know about it?” Ozzy asked quickly, deciding to just power on through her confusion, “Y’know, kaja’mite.”

Ugh, thanks Ozzy, he scolded himself mentally. Like she didn’t know he was going on about kaja’mite already. She definitely needed to be reminded five seconds after he just mentioned it. Jeez, was he always this much of a hot mess? What did she even see in him then?

“Um, well,” Bitsy paused, “I know it’s a mineral. Goblins are very fond of it. And it has some sort of intelligence-enhancing property.”

“Yup,” Ozzy nodded quickly, “And, also, it’s really rare. So it costs a lot. Since it’s rare. Like, really hard to find.”

Yes, because she wouldn’t know what rare meant. He was just killing it, huh?

“I just mean, y’know,” He shrugged quickly, “Pretty much the only reliable place to find it is in Kezan. I mean, the whole Undermine was built around it, so, uh… y’know?”

“Right?” Bitsy perked an eyebrow, clearly not following why he was bringing this up.

“The point is,” He said quickly, like he was afraid of losing her attention or something, “I got somethin’ I wanted to show you.”

“Oh, um, alright?” Bitsy blinked curiously.

Ozzy reluctantly removed his hand from hers, reaching into his jacket. He fished around in his pocket for a moment before pulling out a small jewelry box. It wasn’t particularly fancy-looking.

“Wanna see what kaja’mite looks like?” He asked nervously, holding the box out to her.

Bitsy nodded, her gnomish curiosity taking over, and she took the box. When she opened it, her eyebrows rose.

“Oh, wow,” She mumbled, peering down at the ring, “I didn’t think it would be green.”

“Eh?” Ozzy perked an eyebrow.

“I just figured it would be blue,” Bitsy shrugged, “I assumed it had some sort of arcane property, due to the intelligence-altering factor, and arcane artifacts usually are blue. You know, like blue dragons, for example.”

“Oh, uh, yeah, no,” Ozzy blinked, “It’s green.”

“It’s still nice, though. Like an emerald,” Bitsy shrugged again, looking back down towards the ring, “It makes for very pretty jewelry.”

“...Y’know how it would be even prettier?” Ozzy glanced aside, blushing slightly, “If you wore it.”

“Y-You think so?” Bitsy asked shyly, to which Ozzy just nodded, “W-Well, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to, um, try it on…”

Bitsy took the ring out of the box, her cheeks nearly as pink as her hair, and slipped it onto her hand. Then she examined it a moment. The moonlight caught against it, making the stone sparkle. Very pretty indeed, Ozzy noted to himself, glancing more at Bitsy than the ring.

“Oh wow,” Bitsy gasped, “It really is quite pretty. And it fits very nicely.”

“Oh, really?” Ozzy feigned surprised, “Well, maybe you should just have it then.”

“Huh?” Bitsy blinked, looking over at him in surprise, “But didn’t you say kaja’mite is really rare? Is it really okay for me to just have this?”

“Hey, well, I never said you could have it for free,” Ozzy cleared his throat.

“Hm? You want me to buy it?” Bitsy perked an eyebrow.

“Actually, uh, I was thinking more like...” Ozzy glanced aside, “We could make a deal. A trade.”

“A trade?” Bitsy looked at him curiously, “But I don’t think I have anything valuable enough for a fair trade.”

“I disagree,” Ozzy cleared his throat again.

“Well, then what do you want?” She asked.

Ozzy cleared his throat yet again. Jeez, was it getting hot out or what? He needed a drink of water or something. At this rate, he was just going to straight up catch on fire.

“Nothin’ too crazy,” He began awkwardly, “Just, y’know…”

A beat passed.

“...Your last name,” He said after a moment, blushing rather fiercely.

“My last name?” Bitsy cocked her head to the side, “As in, the merchandising rights? Or---”

“Nope,” Ozzy said quickly, “I just want your last name.”

Bitsy blinked in confusion.

“But how can I sell you my last name?” She shrugged.

“Trade, not sell,” Ozzy corrected, growing increasingly anxious.

Most of the time, he found her naivety cute. It was endearing. But right now, it was just making him panic.

“Well, fine,” Bitsy shrugged again, “How can I trade you my last name?”

“V-Very simple process, actually,” Ozzy cleared his throat once more, “People, uh, do it all the time, actually!”

“Really?” Bitsy looked surprised, “Well, what’s the process, then?”

“I, uh, I give you the ring,” Ozzy quickly gestured towards the ring on her hand, “And in exchange, you… you...”

He trailed off a moment, almost getting derailed by his nerves. But at this point he was too far to turn back. He’d just have to keep going. No matter what came of it.

“A-And in exchange, you…” He repeated, face getting hotter than a furnace, “Y-Y’know, you, uh… marry me.”


	22. Chapter 22

The moonlit sands whistled on the dunes far beyond the dusky borders of Gadgetzan. The sound was nearly muffled by the sounds of the various races chattering in many tongues, feasting and making merry at the Road Warrior Inn.

But outside of the Road Warrior, a gnome and a goblin stood side-by-side silently. The black-haired goblin smoked a cigar, glancing his yellowed eyes over at the gnome beside him. The gnome, meanwhile, ran a hand through one of her large pink pigtails. Her equally-pink brow was furrowed in thought.

A couple of the patrons coming and going from the inn behind them shot an occasional drunken glance in their direction, before staggering along on their own way. The two didn’t really notice. As far as they were concerned, they were the only people left in all of Tanaris. Maybe all of Azeroth. There were no distant voices, or passing bodies. Just them.

“I thought about a lot of things over the course of the game,” Bitsy began, “That day, back at Pestleplugg’s shop. I think that’s when everything changed.”

“Yeah,” Ozzy nodded in agreement, puffing his cigar thoughtfully, “Maybe.”

“You disagree?” Bitsy perked an eyebrow, glancing over at him.

“I think it was when you got drunk and kissed me,” He shrugged.

Bitsy blushed slightly, not recalling that, and looked down.

“It can’t be worse than when I told you I’d marry you,” She smiled, “But you were passed out on the bar.”

“In Booty Bay?” Ozzy perked an eyebrow, “I thought we’d been talking about your mom.”

“I’m surprised you even remember that much,” She chuckled, “You were nine drinks in by that point.”

“Got a high tolerance,” Ozzy shrugged, pausing to tap the ashes from the end of his cigar, “I used to drink a lot.”

Bitsy furrowed her brow in concern, glancing her blue eyes down to follow the ashes as they were caught on the breeze.

“I think that’s when I realized it,” Bitsy commented, still looking off into the night, “When I really realized it.”

“Hm?” Ozzy glanced at her again, “Realized what?”

“That I love you,” Bitsy looked back at him, cheeks darkening.

“Took you that long, eh?” Ozzy smirked, “Guess I’m not as charismatic as I thought.”

Bitsy chuckled in amusement. Well, knowing his ego, it probably wasn’t even physically possible to even be as charming as he imagined.

“When did you…?” Bitsy perked a pink eyebrow.

“On the way to Booty Bay,” He shrugged, “On the zeppelin.”

“Oh, really?” Bitsy nodded, “I would’ve thought it was back when you first invested in the Shortshop.”

“Hey, not sayin’ I weren’t interested back then,” He paused to puff his cigar, “Just that I didn’t realize it.”

“I told my mother about you,” Bitsy mentioned, returning to curling her fingers into her pigtail, “She asked me when we’re getting married.”

Ozzy hesitated a moment.

“Well… are we?” He asked cautiously.

Bitsy just hummed in response, glancing aside.

“Lizbit,” Ozzy frowned, “You promised me an answer after the game.”

“I know,” Bitsy looked back at him.

Then she glanced down at her hand, which still wore the kaja’mite ring. Slowly, she reached down and removed it from her finger. Ozzy’s expression hardened slightly as she then gently set the ring into his hand.

But before he could say anything, she turned to face him in full.

“Ask me properly this time,” She huffed, crossing her arms.

“I… huh?” Ozzy blinked, caught by surprise.

“Ask me the right way, Ozmyveld,” She sighed, “On one knee and everything, like the humans do.”

Ozzy hesitated a moment, needing a second to mentally process her request. But then he shrugged, deciding to humor her, and bent down onto one knee. As he took her hand in his, a couple of patrons mulling about by the entrance of the inn paused and looked over. Ozzy ignored them.

“Lizbit Shortguard, you wonderfully distracting gnome,” Ozzy cleared his throat, “Will you marry me?”

Bitsy smiled, taking the ring from him. She looked at it for a moment, before glancing down at him.

“Yes, Ozmyveld,” She beamed, slipping the ring back onto her finger, “I’ll marry you.”

A few of the drunks by the Road Warrior clapped, slurring a couple words of congratulations. Bitsy glanced over at them with a furrowed brow as one cheering patron paused to vomit. The drunks were not exactly adding to the romance, despite their best efforts.

“Just ignore them,” Ozzy chuckled, standing up, “They won’t even remember come morning.”

“That’s another thing,” Bitsy furrowed her brow, glancing over at Ozzy.

Ozzy just blinked at her curiously.

“You mean I don’t even remember our first kiss?” She scowled.

“Well, you were drunk, so I dunno if it actually counts…” Ozzy began.

“I demand a redo,” Bitsy stepped closer.

“Bossy, aren’t you, Miss Shortguard?” Ozzy grinned.

“Oh, just shush,” Bitsy mumbled, leaning forward and closing the gap between them.

This time, she wouldn’t forget their kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the end of Opposites Attract! I’m considering writing a mini sequel in the future, but need some time to consider a plotline and such. In the meantime, I’ll be transitioning back to In Our Nature. 
> 
> Anyway, if you got this far, thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed the story!


End file.
